


The London Nightmare

by LittleCabin



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Characters you WANT dead trust me, Complete, Family, First Time, Fluff, Good Peter, Happy Ending, Humor, Hurt Derek, Kidnapped Stiles, Knotting, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Minor Character Death, Pain, Puppy Isaac, References to Knotting, Scott has a boyfriend!, Separation Anxiety, Therapy, Werewolf Stiles Stilinski, stay at home mom!Derek (at the end)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-01-27 16:03:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 77,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1716482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleCabin/pseuds/LittleCabin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The London Nightmare is a story I've written about Derek not accepting the fact that he loves Stiles, and well Stiles doesn't really know what to do anymore. Thing is that him and Scott have gotten accepted into collage in London, and are moving! Only shortly before they leave they find out that Derek has decided to move the entirety of the pack, with them to London... Even Peter.   Old enemies of Derek return, things happen, things get bad, Stiles gets hurt. It just get's worse from there on out. A once so strong Stiles, is broken, and he needs someone to look after him. Will Derek give in to love? Will Derek ever forgive himself for letting Stiles down in the first place? Will Scott? What about Isaac, will he survive sacrificing Stiles?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [atticeyes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/atticeyes/gifts).



> Hi, this is unbetaed so any and all mistakes are mine!!! Feel free to point them out though!  
> I hope you'll enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing it!!!  
> I feel bad for hurting Stiles, forgive me!  
> Oh, and this story is completed, I've already written the whole thing!  
> 77.000 WORDS IN TOTAL, I'm so fucking proud of myself, my longest fic EVER! 
> 
> I'll get back to how often I'll upload it, but at least I can regularly upload it, because it's already completed!

Scott and Stiles has both gotten into the same college, and they are leaving for London. The thing was that Derek isn’t too pleased about it, they had finally become a pack. Scott has settled down with being Derek’s beta… So has Isaac, even Peter has settled down. Derek still isn’t all that fond of being an alpha, but he feels better now… with a pack… But, there is one more addition to his pack, that he cherishes more then the others. Stiles… Stiles Stilinski is his now. Derek hasn’t talked to him about the fact that they are meant to be mates, he’s figured he’ll take it gradually as they settle down in London for a few years. Scott is the only one suspecting that there is more between Stiles and Derek than what Derek is willing to admit. Stiles, however, is as clueless and in denial as always. 

Isaac has stopped being so clingy to Scott, but that is only because he is permanently attached to Peter. Peter doesn’t seem to mind, but he hasn’t actually made any signs that he is pleased about it either. Isaac is a beta, so is Peter, so that means that they couldn’t be meant to be mates… But if there was love, anything could be possible. Scott used to say he would never love anyone as much as Allison… But he has gotten over her easily as it turned out she had betrayed them, leading them into a trap. She had almost gotten the whole lot of them killed, even betraying Stiles who wasn’t a werewolf. He wasn’t looking for anyone new at the moment, but figured that if he met someone, he wouldn’t hold back like he had done with Allison. 

“So what you’re saying, is that you two… are coming with us?” Stiles utters in total disbelief… “Werewolves in London, that’s just perfect.” He mutters, he had been hoping he would get some time away from Derek to really figure out what he felt for him, get some distance. “You two are not going to London on your own.” Derek hisses. “What about Isaac?” Scott asks confused, not believing they’d leave him behind, but he still had a year left before college. “He spent all summer taking exams, so he has been accepted to the same school as you… so no, we are not leaving him behind.” Peter says. Stiles mopes, he couldn’t believe they had planned this so long back, that would mean he had started taking the same exams as them, at the same time… Meaning Derek had decided from the start that they would not be going on their own. 

“How come you didn’t tell us?” Scott asks, sitting down by the dining table. “I didn’t think it was necessary… I’m your alpha!” Stiles has stopped talking, something that isn’t common for him to do, it means his mind is working overload. “So when you said we didn’t have to look for an apartment, it’s because you’ve found a place for all of us?” Scott clarifies to himself… he should have guessed though, that Derek wouldn’t let them go off on their own. “Yes… But you and Stiles have your own space, if that’s what your asking….” Stiles looks up now. “You have your own space on the loft, with everything apart from a kitchen, so you have to come down to eat, but apart from that…” Derek pauses, he doesn’t look pleased about it, making it obvious that it was probably Peter, or Isaac’s idea. “Great, so I still have to live on your healthy crap.” He groans, shaking his head. “You’d get cardiac arrest within a month if you were to decide your own diet… so consider it a blessing that I will still be around.” Derek spits, making Peter roll his eyes and walk out of the room, Isaac almost skipping happily behind him. “Whatever.” Stiles leaving behind them as well. 

“This is because you can’t let him go, isn’t it?” Scott asks, looking at Derek for a long time, Derek has turned around, standing with his back against Scott. “Don’t think it’s easy for me to let you leave either, but he is human, you can at least fend for yourself.” Derek has a point, but no one supernatural in London, knows about Stiles… he wouldn’t be in danger there. But he doesn’t tell Derek this, because he knows that Derek is aware, but won’t take the risk. And well, he needs an excuse for leaving with them. “So, you’d leave if it was just me too?” Derek pauses. “Obviously, you’re my pack… I’m supposed to protect you.” Scott feels evil when he asks the next question. “What if we left in each our direction, what if I decided to go to New York?” Derek turns around, he does look a little more upset now, angry with him. “Well, like I said… you can fend for yourself, and Jackson is in New York…” Scott nods. “So you’d go with Stiles.” He confirms to himself, he is not surprised though. But it is still nice to know that Derek considers him important to protect. 

Stiles is sulking in his room, well Isaac’s room... The one he and Scott stay in when they stay over. He is angry with Derek, he wanted to get away, he needed to get some space from the man, his feelings are too confusing… How could he love Derek, he has hated Derek’s gut from day one… And Peter even worse, and yet he found himself talking to him a lot. Having Peter help him with his homework when Scott was of no use. And well, he was too proud to ask Derek for help. Scott enters the room silently, slumping down on the bed next to him, looking at him without saying anything. “Seems like we’re not getting rid of them any time soon.” Scott nods, but then he sighs, figuring he should probably defend Derek a bit. “But you know, we’re pack, it’s instinct for him to protect us, and you heard him, we have our own space… and I promise to come along with you and take you to Burger King or Nandos or McDonalds or whatever you want…. At least once a week.” Stiles seem to settle down a bit, humming with acceptance. “And we can order take away.” Stiles shoots in, seeming more satisfied. 

“But dude, Derek will be checking up on us, and we can’t have parties in the weekends!” Stiles sighs. “We can still go to parties Stiles… But then again, we’re not really party people... are we?” Stiles snorts. “But if Derek didn’t come along, maybe we could actually become cool party people… Derek will probably pick us up form school, and drive us there in the morning. “ Stiles groans at the thought. “We’ll take the buss or something, or walk… claim it is to get in shape.” Stiles laughs… “As if…too early in the morning!” Scott laughs, he should have expected that Stiles would never out of his free will, walk to school, early in the morning. 

“But you know, now you have someone to ask for help with your homework, Peter is coming along…. That has to be in our favor, we might actually pass this year, we barely passed the exams last time.” Stiles snort, sitting up and getting out of bed… he walks across the room, sitting down by the desk that is placed in the other end of the room, he thinks about it. “But you have to remember that last year we didn’t have the advantage that we have this year.” Scott frowns. “what?” he asks. “No monsters… no alpha packs… no one trying to kill us, that might be less stressful you know, maybe that’d help… just a thought.” Scott chuckles, sighing. “Yeah, but you know, I’ve heard the women in London can be quite monstrous.” Stiles has to laugh. “That doesn’t affect your love life, though.”  
Stiles freezes… he walks out on Scott, not bothering to response to that… Scott was supposed to be his best friend, how could he say something like that?


	2. Moving to London

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pack moves to London, and they all start to settle,   
> apart from Stiles who fails to keep up with school and life in general.   
> Isaac is confronted by Peter, and Peter is a sweetheart!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, still unbetaed, so all mistakes are mine!!   
> I have proof read it twice though!! So I hope there's not too many mistakes!

Stiles spends the last three days at home with his dad, packing his things and saying goodbye to his only family member left. He has hardly spoken to Scott, not after what he said, it had hurt more than it should, because it was true… not because Stiles is too awkward or strange, bit of a geek even, it’s because of Derek. Derek fucking Hale.   
Scott has apologized like a million times, over and over again, but Stiles is still upset, more with Derek and himself rather than Scott. But he decides to be a dick about it, because well frankly… he can. 

“Ready to leave?” Luckily Derek and Scott has left a day before them, to make sure everything is okey with the apartment… Leaving Isaac and Peter to take Stiles along. “Yes I am, dad… but you promise to stay away form the curly fries, and don’t stay up to late, not too much coffee.” Stiles reminds his father as they make their way down the stairs with his bags. Isaac stands in their door, because well… Peter isn’t Stiles father’s favorite person, after Derek that be. “Need help?” Stiles nods, handing his bags to Isaac, who takes them outside. “Goodbye then…” Stiles hugs his dad tightly, trying not to cry, he doesn’t want to cry. He is so not crying, he can’t cry. Okay, he is crying. He’s so crying. “You be good, and stay with Scott… I’m still not liking these Hale’s. And the pack thing, that is just creepy.” Stiles dad doesn’t know much about werewolves, but Stiles has somehow explained to his dad they’re some kind of a peaceful gang. Definitely NOT a cult! More like family. Stiles nods and wipes the tears quickly, but he knows his father saw them. “And make sure to come back soon, at least to visit me.” Stiles nods and walks out the door, grabbing his jacket and wiping the remaining traces of his tears. 

“You okay?” Isaac asks, but Stiles doesn’t trust his voice yet, so he nods. For some reason he sits in the front seat with Peter, Isaac was already sitting in the back when he had gone over to the car, he had pointed to the front. “Got something in his eye…” Peter says, earning him a frown from Stiles. “Will we be there soon?” Peter laughs. “Impatient as always Stiles.” It’s a short break before he answers seriously though. “It’ll take two hours till the airport… and then a long time with the plane, but you’ll be sleeping. We’ll be there when you wake up.” 

It’s only an hour into the flight when Stiles almost loses it, Isaac has fallen asleep, and Peter too, he thinks, the werewolf’s eyes are at least closed, but he is still breathing normally, like he is awake. “Peter?” Stiles asks, silently, not to wake him, if he is in fact sleeping. “What is it, Stiles?” Isaac stirs lightly, but doesn’t wake. “What do you think caused Isaac to… well, whatever he’s doing?” Peter opens his eyes at that, looking down at Isaac, rather then over at Stiles. “I let him, I suppose.” Peter sighs, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. “He’s attracted to safety, and I let him sleep in my bed one night, thunder apparently scares him… but don’t tell anyone that.” Stiles frowns, “Tell anyone that you let him sleep in your bed, or that he’s scared of thunder?” Peter does look over at that, almost smiling. “About the thunder, he thinks it’s embarrassing…” Stiles nods, it must be hard. Living with someone like Derek and Peter who probably fear nothing, whilst being scared of thunder, loud noises and being trapped in small spaces. “Do you mind?” Stiles asks, just as Peter closed his eyes again, but this time he doesn’t bother opening them, just humming a short answer. “No.” He can hear Peter falling asleep, just seconds later, leaving him up on his own. 

When the plane lands, Stiles still hasn’t really gotten any sleep. Derek and Scott are there to pick up their bags and load them into the car. Peter gets into the back with Scott and Isaac, sitting in the middle of them. Leaving Stiles to sit with Derek, who’s driving the car. Isaac is back to sleeping within seconds, and somehow Peter falls back again too. And just when it couldn’t get more awkward… Scott starts snoring heavily behind Stiles head. “How was the flight?” Derek asks, making small talk, which is unlike him. “Delightful… Peter snoring down my neck with Isaac whimpering and drooling in his lap.” Stiles sounds sarcastic and exaggerated. “You can catch up on sleep after breakfast.” Stiles rolls his eyes. “What are you shoving down my throat this time?” Derek falls silent, he almost looks hurt and Stiles does at that point wish he wasn’t in such a bad mood, he doesn’t want to hurt Derek and still he always does. “Hope it’s omelet, you make them eatable.” Derek’s shoulders seem to fall down a bit at that, but the hurt is still prominent, even when he utters “That’s just because I put cheese in yours…” Stiles frowns, keeping an eye on Derek. “Only in mine?” Stiles blushes when Derek nods. 

Stiles is left the last fifteen minutes thinking about every time they’ve had omelet, that Derek has made one especially for Stiles… Whilst the others are cheated off all privileges of fatty food as always. Why would Derek put cheese in only Stiles’ food. Stiles wonders if it is only the omelet Derek makes differently for him. There is always sugar in his tea, and he swears the few times Derek has made hot chocolate, there’s whipped cream in his, not milk. And when he thinks about it, there is always cheese in his veggie burger.   
And he’s sure his coke has never been diet… Is Derek secretly fattening him up, whilst making everyone else healthy? He has to talk to someone about this… But he can’t speak to Peter, he’d snort and walk away, he can talk to Peter about a lot, … But not his feelings for Derek, or Derek’s feelings for him. Isaac is out of the question, he’d be offended that Stiles is being treated differently, and demand cheese for himself too. Scott, it only leaves Scott, because he sure as hell won’t be asking Derek! 

“I call peace, we need to talk!” Stiles says urgently and pulls Scott into the room Derek has pointed out as theirs… Great, he has to share with Scott, Peter with Isaac and Derek on his own…that loner. “Good to have you back, buddy.” Scott smiles, sitting down, knowing it would have to be about Derek. “Dude, Derek secretly feeds me cheese!” Scott snorts, chuckling for a second. “Like what, under the table?” Stiles shakes his head, not finding it at all funny. “In omelets, and veggie burgers…” Scott frowns this time. “Derek never uses cheese in ome… oh, he does to you?” Stiles nods eagerly. “And whipped cream, sugar… dude I swear he has never given me a diet coke!” Scott leans back on his bed. “It can simply be because you burn a lot of carbs, dude, you’re quite small, maybe he is just making sure you get enough to eat, you probably need more than me and Isaac.” Stiles is sitting with his legs crossed almost rocking himself. “Dude you’re werewolves, you surely need more food than me!” Scott pulls his shoulders. “I don’t know, you burn ridiculously many calories man… I’ve seen you eat an entire pizza every day for two weeks, you didn’t put on a gram. I would have been round as a ball.” Stiles considers this for a while. “Maybe” he says. Not sounding at all convinced. “Or maybe he just likes you more then us.” Scott teases, earning him a swat from Stiles, before they are called down for breakfast. “Lets go eat, tell me if there’s cheese in your omelet again.” Scott whispers as they walk down the stairs. 

 

There was indeed cheese… Stiles looked up and hinted down to the piece of omelet on his fork, that had a few strings of cheese still attached to the rest of the omelet that was on the plate. Scott snorts out a short laughter, making Stiles blush. Derek is ignoring them all, listening to Peter explaining the locations of other packs around. Apparently he knows a few of the other werewolves from when he was younger and had left the Hale pack. “I think Steven’s pack is still around, last I checked he lived just the other side of town…” Derek nodded, it was important for him to know which packs were around, in case something happened… And in case Scott and Stiles ran into them at school. “Do you know if they have any teens?” Peter stops eating for a second, he seems to be going through the packs in his mind. “I think there might be some, but they might be a bit older then Scott, Isaac and Stiles if that’s what you’re wondering about. Probably just out of college, but you know… there are few werewolves that actually go to college.” Stiles is stuffing his face with his cheese omelet when he hears something of interest. “We should meet up with the packs, so that they know that we are here.” Stiles has never seen another normal pack, the alpha pack hardly counts as normal. 

“We should, but let’s get the children settled in school first…” Peter mumbles from the other side of the table, looking over at a slightly nervous Isaac, clinging to his upper arm with one of his, now, clawed hands. “Obviously” Derek nods, keeping a watchful eye on Isaac. Derek still feels bad about what he did to Isaac, but seeing him now, he couldn’t think of a better place for Isaac to be, than in a pack that’s settling down, with Peter, who luckily also has settled down, looking over him. “Children?” Stiles mutters offended, earning him a kick from Scott, who also had noticed Isaac’s unease as other packs were mentioned. “So, where is this college?” Stiles asks, making Peter chuckle, and as Stiles looks up, he sees why. Derek is glaring at him, not even trying to hide it anymore, Scott is almost blushing… And Isaac for some reason has a shit-eating grin on his face, like he knows Stiles is going to get in trouble. “You haven’t even checked up where it i? Like I told you to do!?” Stiles shrugs, So yeah he might have done that on purpose to get a reaction, he was determent to make this just a little more miserable for Derek, than it already was. 

Two weeks later and Stiles had been right, they were both being dropped off, and picked up every day. Usually by Peter though, rather than Derek, who seemed to be away most of the time. Peter stayed at home, God knows what he spent his time doing, Derek was working somewhere, though he didn’t explain or talk about it. Stiles and Scott were starting to get settled into their college routine, and soon figured they were pretty much the only ones not living on campus. Isaac didn’t seem to mind, his favorite part of the day is Peter picking them up, because he has usually been too lazy to drive them in the morning, leaving that to Derek who was anyways going for work. Still he seemed to be content with getting up and eating breakfast with Isaac. Stiles is already struggling with some of the work they are given, as he can’t really keep himself concentrated long enough. Scott however is on a roll, and Stiles has told him to just do his thing, and he would manage on his own. 

 

 

“So, you’re not coming out tonight?” Scott looks so disappointed, Stiles groans from where he is buried in books. “No, I need to get done with this, I have to hand it in tomorrow.” Stiles has spent hours working on something that took Scott probably only one or two hours tops… his mind just won’t focus. “But almost the entire class will be there…” Stiles looks up, putting his pen down. “Look man, I’d love to go… but I have to finish this bullshit.” Scott nods and leaves, sensing that Stiles is frustrated beyond saving. Stiles knocks his fist in the table, he has tried to find the answer to one question for the last forty five minutes, and he is no closer then he was when he started. “Peter!” he calls, hoping the man is back home, he had left just hours before, after having helped Stiles getting started. He remembers Peter’s words though. “Now, if you should fall off it… just take a break and a few deep breaths, if that doesn’t help, go downstairs and hit something, just let the anger out, that’s what stopping you, you get too frustrated.” 

Peter was right, Stiles is just too frustrated to keep his mind working at full speed, and really, he won’t admit it, not even to Scott… But he is still exhausted from the summer, from having to fight the alpha pack, and the kanima and everything else that has just gotten in their way of settling down as a pack. Though he never thought he would be part of the pack, and he thought Derek would go mad, Peter somehow end up dead and… just no, his mind is exhausted, and frustrated… and so not ready to start college. Peter doesn’t respond, so he can’t be home, he would have heard Stiles.   
Stiles gets up and grabs a water bottle, slipping his jumper off, so that he is wearing a singlet and his sweatpants, because. “Time to get fit…” he mumbles under his breath. He has been considering it, getting fit, he isn’t really unfit, he’s just not fit. But that’s compared to werewolves. Humanly speaking he is probably average… ish. 

Stiles is so frustrated that he overworks himself, starting too hard and not slowing down. So as he hangs from that stupid thing that Derek does pull ups on, not being able to pull himself up, he shouts in anger. He tries so hard to lift himself, to at least do one pathetic pull up, but his arm are aching, his vision is almost blurred from the violent attach his body has been through the last hour. “Deep breaths, concentrate on your arms.” A firm voice speaks from right behind him, almost making him fall down in pure shock. It’s Derek. Derek’s hands grab his chest, making sure he doesn’t fall down… It makes Stiles’ heart go ragged, he can’t think, he can only do as he is told. With Derek’s hands supporting his chest, and probably helping him a bit, he is able to do three pull-ups… he could have done more, but he ends up breaking. Angry tears slip from his eyes, and sobs stop him from breathing. He lets go, but doesn’t hit the floor like he thought he would, Derek’s hands are still firmly on his chest, so he is placed gently onto the floor. Where he sinks to his knees, with Derek hovering over him. 

Stiles wants to stop it, wants to get up and say it he was just working himself too hard… But the sobs fall out of him, like betraying cries for help. And how he wishes that Derek’s hand around his chest isn’t the only thing holding him together in that moment. “Don’t let go.” Somehow Stiles knows what Derek is talking about, knows that Derek must sense that he is loosing it. He has been keeping his cool on for so long, that he thought none of the others noticed it, not even Scott. But apparently… you can’t fool Derek. 

Stiles wants to say something, wants to speak, but the only words he can get out, are the sobs, that are starting to sound more and more broken. But those are words enough for Derek, words enough to say he was right about not letting them go alone to London, but also it’s a reminder that Stiles is just human, everything must have been so much harder on him. Somehow Stiles falls asleep in Derek arms, still crying. 

Derek can feel Stiles drifting off to sleep, and he is actually happy, he knows the pain won’t go away from Stiles sleeping, but he knows it’s an easy way to escape it, when you’re just too tired to fight it. He can’t really imagine which part of their messy lives became too much for Stiles… but he knows as the pack alpha, it is his task to find it out, fix it and make sure Stiles can live on happily. “Everything alright?” Peter asks, as Derek carries a sleeping Stiles up from the cellar. “Yes, he just fell asleep, I’ll take him upstairs.” Peter nods, asking nothing of it… even tough it is clear by the tears that are stained down Stiles cheeks, that something is definitely wrong. But it’s just a thing between them. Derek doesn’t ask about Isaac, Peter doesn’t ask about Stiles. Isaac is there too, but he doesn’t seem to notice anything apart from Peter standing in front of him. “Make something for Isaac to eat, would you…” Derek calls down the stairs, it’s his mayor issue, always making sure they eat what he thinks is right for them… and probably overfeeding poor Isaac, but Isaac never complains, eating till he is full of whatever strange dish Derek makes him, or Peter’s sandwiches. 

Derek only slowly realizes he has brought Stiles to his room, rather than Stiles and Scott’s room. But he can’t seem to think it is a bad idea, not even after he has tucked Stiles into his bed, and settled down on top of the blankets besides him. He rests his arm over Stiles body, enjoying the heath that the human teenager is producing… and the smell that fills his nostrils as Stiles breathes heavily. Little does Derek know that Stiles is awake, keeping his eyes closed and forcing himself to breath slowly. He can only thank God for his heartbeat staying slow and steady, he thinks it has to do with Derek being his alpha. But his mind is racing, is this what he wants? Sleeping there, with Derek, is that what his heart is asking of him? Or is it just his mind seeking comfort of what it now genetically has been taught is safety. Derek. 

Isaac is eating, again he is full, but stuffs himself just a little more, trying to get down the last bits of the sandwiches. Two he can eat easily, but Peter made him three, just to be sure. He loves it when Peter or Derek make food for him, or just in general takes care of him. Derek never really did before though, he’d just make sure Isaac was alive and not starving. But now there are times when Derek looks at him, just to make sure he is not in need of anything. Derek even bought him an IPod, so that he can always carry around his music. He never told the others where he got it, but he suspects that Peter knows, because they seemed to get along better after Derek actually made an effort to help him. Peter watches as Isaac tries to swallow the last bits, well aware that the teenager is stuffed, he can sense the discomfort oozing from him, and finds that it is time he confronts him about it. “Isaac, you don’t have to finish the sandwich… I won’t be upset you know.” Isaac glances up, swallowing heavily, putting the last corner down. “But you put effort to make it, I should put effort to eat it.” Peter pulls the plate away from Isaac. “I didn’t get sick from making it, you’d get sick from eating it.” Isaac looks down in his lap, almost shamed. “I should be grateful for everything you do for me, I don’t deserve it.” Peter gets up, walks to other side of the table and sits down. “But you do” 

“Isaac, you deserve it so very much… And we all know you are grateful, we can feel it, remember?” Isaac blushes, nodding weakly. “Nothing would make me happier then you standing up for yourself, but until you can, I will. But Isaac, I’m not your father. Derek isn’t either…” Isaac caves in from his shell, like Peter makes him do every night as they go to bed. He leans forward until his hands wrap around Peter’s lower back and he rests his head in his lap. “So you won’t be upset if I don’t finish it?” he asks, hiding his nose in Peter’s shirt. “No, I’ll be very happy if you eat till you’re full, and then stop, whenever that might be.” Isaac nods, he can to that... he hopes. “Come to bed then, you’ve got early classes tomorrow.” Later that night, as Isaac is curled up on Peter’s warm chest, he asks timidly. “So I can do what I want to?” Peter smiles, looking down at the slightly curled hair. “No, you still have to listen to me when I tell you things.” Isaac found that had always been logic, but nods anyway. “And Derek?” he asks, this makes Peter chuckle… “Do your very best to annoy him, that’ll show him you care.” Isaac lets out a breathy laugh as he settles down and falls asleep. 

Stiles wakes up, he can hear Scott entering their room, shouting his name silently, though frankly, he still probably wakes up Derek, Peter and Isaac. But Derek doesn’t move, so he gets up, very gently… he does however almost trip in some clothes that are piled up on the floor, and that surely does wake Derek up. And as Stiles steps out of the room, he can feel Derek’s eyes resting on his back, but he doesn’t dare turn around, or just say something… if he was in his right mind, he would have spoken, said goodnight, or something. Thank you? But he just wanders off, almost in shame, he shouldn’t have broken like that. He walks into his shared room to find Scott undressing, bite marks on his neck… “Dude, you wouldn’t believe the chick that I met up with, she was so hot!” Stiles puts up a brave smile and fist bumps his roomie. “Oh, I believe you! Good on you Scott!” he is happy for Scott, for moving on from Allison, for getting so settled with school and everything... This life is really agreeing with him. Not with Stiles though, something just seems to be missing. 

When they wake up the next morning, to Isaac standing in their door calling their names, all Stile can hear I Scott groaning, the room smells like alcohol, how much has he had? “You go along without me, save yourselves…” Isaac shrugs and turns in the door and leaves them behind to get ready. “You’re not coming today then?” Stiles asks as he gets up and pulls on the same pants he wore two days ago that were just within reach. Scott just groans again and Stiles leaves it at that. When he comes downstairs he is surprised to find that Peter isn’t up, it’s just Derek and Isaac. “Hungry?” Derek asks, not looking up from where he is making oatmeal for Stiles. “Do I have a choice?” Stiles asks, sighing. “No, not really.” Derek does look up at that, and there is definitely worry in his eyes, he glances down at Isaac who’s drowning his oatmeal in honey… and to Stiles surprise, there is fondness in Derek’s eyes as he watches Isaac go totally overboard with the honey. “I think you’re sweet enough…” Peter grumbles as he snatches the honey from Isaac, it startles Stiles because he hadn’t even heard Peter enter the room. 

Maybe London wasn’t so bad after all, it seemed to have brought Derek closer to… well everyone apart from Stiles really, but maybe in a way, Derek is trying, he did after all actually touch Stiles last night, tuck him into his own bed. That has to mean something, but Stiles denies the chances of it meaning that the strange feelings he is having for Derek, might be mutual. Because after all, he is not falling in love with that sourwolf.


	3. Unexplainable Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Artic is introduced to the story, what is his backstory?   
> Isaac is not so subtly limping, Derek is pissed and Stiles is scared to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg... I'm so sorry about how horribly written this chapter is!  
> It's the worst chapter in the whole story! I've tried fixing some parts of it, but it's still horrible! 
> 
> Just stay with me, the next chapter won't be such a mess!!! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy :D

The car ride is silent, Isaac is moping in the backseat, it’s Derek driving them again… it usually is, but Isaac has seemed extra clingy to Peter that morning, practically having to be kicked out of the house before he let go of Peter’s hand. And Stiles could have sworn that Peter kissed his cheek as he pushed him out the door. Stiles is in the front seat, next to a very tense Derek, he has seemed fine in the morning, but maybe he was just putting up a show because Isaac finally had been happy to get up. And now that Isaac is moping, Derek probably doesn’t bother with the facade. “I’ll pick you up at four…” Derek mumbles, looking at Isaac through the mirror. “What do you mean, won’t Peter…” He’s cut off by Derek almost shouting at him “No, I’ll be picking you up!” Isaac shivers under the voice, but doesn’t say anything, just slips out of the car and walks towards the school, that’s when Stiles notice how he walks, with just that little wobbling limp. “You didn’t have to shout at him.” Stiles almost rolls his eyes as he reaches to open the door. 

Derek’s hand is like hit to the guts, the memories of his nightmare last nigh flashes before his eyes. He has tried to forget about it, like when you wake up from a good dream and you think you never want to forget it, but then two minutes later you have no idea what it was about, that is what Stiles was hoping for. But of course he has to remember every single little bit of that stupid nightmare, it isn’t even really that scary, just upsetting. “I didn’t mean to yell at him.” Stiles snorts, looking Derek directly in the eyes. “Why are you trying to apologize to me, I’m not the one you yelled at.” Derek still hasn’t let go of Stiles’ hand… Reaching out for Stiles wasn’t to get his attention, it was to hold him back. “Stiles, you don’t have to do this you know, I can find work for you… or you can just take some time off.” Stiles’ tummy does a loop, twisting around in a wild attempt to make him break again. “I want to go to college.” He pulls himself free of Derek grip, which he wouldn’t have been able to do, hadn’t Derek let go of him in the same time, letting him jump out of the car and leave him again. And this time as well as last night, Stiles can feel Derek’s eyes resting on him. 

Stiles catches up with Isaac on his way in, they have first period in the same class, math. “What’s with the limp?” Stiles asks, making Isaac blush furiously and clear his throat. “I fell, twisted my ankle.” Stiles laughs loudly, patting Isaac’s back. “A falling werewolf… I think you fell for Peter, that’s what I think happened…. And last night, maybe you even fell on him, you know what I’m saying!?” Isaac looks at him, eyes wide with horror as he tries to find something to say. “Don’t say the wolf word here, you twat!” But he says nothing about Peter, or about falling, so Stiles considers it to be the truth spot on. “How was he?” Stiles asks curiously as he sits down next to Isaac, who is still looking mortifyingly pale. “Shut up Stiles, or I’ll tell Derek about your little incident.” Stiles gasps in fake distress, “You wouldn’t, oh, Isaac you wouldn’t tell Derek I smoked pot and passed out in the middle of the forest!?” Isaac is hushing him madly as people around them are looking at them, giving them strange looks. “No, you know I wouldn’t, just don’t do it again… and stop asking, nothing happened last night.” Stiles picks up his books. “Whatever man, the limp proves it though.” Isaac growls lowly, so that only Stiles can hear it, or more like feel it, the little hairs on his arms stand to attention as the air around him buzzes lightly. 

 

" “Where are you going?” Stiles turns around, looking at Derek who’s looking up at him from his bed. “I was just going to check on Scott.” Derek sits up, only wearing his boxers, rather then all his clothes, which is what Stiles remember him falling asleep in. “You don’t need to check up on anyone. He is just fine” Derek grasps Stiles by his shoulders and hauls him over to the bed again, but before he lets him sit down, he lifts his hands, stroking his warm palms down Stiles chest to grip the hem of his shirt and pull it up over his head. “The only thing you need to do, is get back in bed with me.” Derek voice is so soft, Stiles can’t ever remember it being so soft, with such a rumble. “Tuck under now…” Derek says as he pushes Stiles down on his back. Somehow he is rid of his pants as well as Derek crawls in under the sheets and tucks him up to his chest, humming down in his ear, a rumble growing in his chest. “You’re safe, sleep.” Derek’s words are like law and his eyes fall shut, as he feels the faint but evident warmth of Derek’s lips in the nape of his neck. 

“You didn’t actually think you were getting away, were you?” he swears he’s heard that voice before, it is far too familiar. “Peter, Scott!” Derek shouts as he springs from the bed, where Stiles is still half asleep. “No point in calling, they’re already dead.” The gigantic alpha, made out of the connected twins, hold up Peter’s decapitated skull, and what looks to be Scott’s tattooed arm. “NO!” It’s Isaac, standing in the door, falling to his knees at the sight of Peter’s head. Derek suddenly gasps in pain, a hand piercing through his chest, just as another alpha shows up behind his back. It’s Stiles turn to scream, reaching out for Derek, but it all goes distant and everything around him fades to blurred lines of blood and gore. The only thing he can feel is pain, the only thing he can see is Derek’s pained eyes and the only thing he can hear is Isaac screaming, and what sounds like himself choking on air.  
“DEREK!” "

“Stiles!” Isaac hisses into his ear, shaking him awake from where he’s drooling on his desktop. “I can’t believe you just fell asleep in class, that I am however telling Derek… “ Isaac doesn’t seem to see Stiles expression at first, but when he does he freezes and his face turns to one of worry. “Are you okay, Stiles, you’re looking a bit pale there” Stiles clears his throat twice and sits up, wiping away the remaining drool before he looks back at Isaac. “Sorry, didn’t sleep too well last night.” Isaac blushes, “Sorry about that, I tried being quiet.” Stiles is about to ask what he is talking about, when he suddenly realizes. “So something DID happen last night!?” he grins, now having Isaac admitting it. “No, you… I thought you meant we kept you up, I never said anything… shut up!” Isaac shouts under his breath. “Don’t tell Derek, or Scott!” Stiles laughs, patting his back. “I wont… happy for you mate.” Isaac blushes, looking down at his papers and keeps taking notes. “Only if you don’t tell Derek I fell asleep in class.” Stiles compromises. 

“I have science now, what about you?” Isaac asks, “Physics.” Stiles mumbles, still feeling really exhausted, he did sleep all night, he just didn’t sleep well, and even though he probably slept for an hour in class, he could just sit down and sleep for hours.   
“See you later, and Stiles… just call Derek if it get’s too bad, you really don’t look well.”   
Stiles waves and leaves right for class, he’s really not up for eating… and luckily the only place Derek can’t control what he eats and when, is when he’s at school.   
He does try to pay attention, but he keeps picturing the details of Peter’s and Scott’s body parts, it’s far too disturbing to forget, it’s like it’s imprinted on his mind. “You’re that kid that’s dropped off every day, aren’t you?” Stiles turns to find a tall lean boy standing behind him. “Hey, sorry, I’m Artic” Stile frowns, what kind of name is that. “Artic?” Artic laughs, obviously he is used to that reaction. “That’s what I said. “   
“So, you’re with the Hale’s?” He asks, making Stiles freeze, how does he know about the Hale’s, what does he know? “Eh, yeah, well that depends on the definition of with…”   
Artic winks and leads them into the cantina, even though Stiles never said that’s where he was going, and that wasn’t where he was heading either… he had just followed by instinct as someone seemed to know more than they should. “I’m Artic Felly, my older brother is the alpha of the pack I’m in.” Stiles’ eyes grow wide and he has a million questions he wants to ask, that are all inappropriate considering they just met. “So, you’re a…” Stiles isn’t even asking, just making sure. Artic nods and winks again, that seems to be a thing. “Indeed, beta though…. It sucks, living in Rex’s shadow.” Stiles has to muffle a laugh, looking up at Artic, just making sure Artic wasn’t offended. “That’s what I think too sometimes, who calls their werewolf son, Rex.” 

“You smell bad.” Artic says, whilst he eats like dog, or wolf, or whatever. “Sorry” Stiles mutter, he didn’t shower that morning, but he couldn’t smell all that bad, not from that short time... then again, he didn’t shower after his segment in the cellar, or crying for hours, and sleeping with Derek, and then with drunk Scott… He probably did smell bad. “No, not like that… sorry, you smell sick… like you’re ill.” Stiles frowns, can they really smell if he’s sick? And stiles doesn’t feel sick, just tired, and shaken by the nightmares. “Eh, well, maybe I’m catching something.” He shrugs, looking at Artic’s food, okay, so maybe he is a bit hungry, and him denying to eat is just to rebel against Derek. “Human pack members are rare you know, you’re alpha must realty feel protective over you, to let you join.” Artic pushes some of his food over, and Stiles doesn’t hesitate to eat it, he likes Artic. “We never really discussed it, just happened I think… One of his beta’s is my best friend.” Artic nods, swallowing. “Isaac?” he asks, Stiles looks up, wondering why he knows Isaac’s name, but finds himself shaking his head. “Scott.” 

“So, your friend is Scott, Isaac is the one with Peter, and Peter is Derek’s uncle, but not the alpha.” Stiles nods when Artic finally gets it right. “Why did your parents call you Artic?” Stiles asks, looking up at him, to see if that’s a question he can ask. “Because I’m really pale… I suppose.” He shrugs it off. “Why did they call you Stiles? Stiles Stilinski, that’s a strange name you know.” Stiles smiles, sighing sadly. “Stiles is a nick name Scott gave me, because he can’t say my actual name, and well, I’ve left that name behind, when my mom died, she was the only one who ever used it anyway.” Artic puts his fork down, resting a hand on Stiles’ one. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.” Stiles smiles… shaking his head and pulls his hand to his lap. “I asked first… it’s fine anyway, I have my dad, and Derek’s pack.” Stiles smiles sadly. “I was wrong, you don’t smell sick.., You smell upset.” Stiles doesn’t know what to respond, because that sounds about right. “Sorry, I’ll stop asking about it… you shouldn’t have to deal with wolves smelling you all the time.” Artic winks, getting up. “We have Physics together, lets get to class” 

Stiles sits next to Artic the whole class, but he pays attention to the teacher, whilst Stiles sits the whole class and wonders if Derek can smell that he’s upset… but if Artic can smell it, and he’s a beta, does that mean Isaac, Peter and Scott can smell it too? Maybe they are just waiting for him to say something, or maybe they are trying to not judge him by what he smells, considering he can’t judge them by it? Stiles is no wiser when the bell rings. “So, I don’t think we have next class together, I do think I have classes with Isaac though.” Stiles finally asks what he has been wondering all along. “How do you know so much about us, our names, where we’re from… who’s who.” Artic seems to falter a bit at that, like Stiles has hit him, or called him out on something he is ashamed of. “Eh, My alpha makes sure every one in the pack knows about all the packs around us, so we had to learn about you guys.” He says, blushing. “But how did you find out about us, our names, things like that?” Artic twists away from him a bit and rubs his neck with a long skinny hand. “Emh… we hack computers, I found you in the schools archives and Derek is quite known to other packs, so I already knew about him, but I thought Peter was the alpha.” Stiles tries not to look too shocked by the new information, not wanting to scare Artic away. “Peter was the alpha, but now Derek is.” Artic seems relived when Stiles doesn’t choose to ask him more about his pack of about the whole school archives… or why he already knew about the Hale’s. 

“Artic, I know this is a strange question but… that group thing in physics, I don’t have a partner, and I suck a physics.” He asked, well he didn’t really ask about anything he just gave a small hint that was very obvious. “I’ll be your partner, but we work at your place…” Artic says as they part to go to each their classes, Stiles never had time to answer, but he figures Derek wont be upset that he brings someone home to study.   
However he didn’t consider the fact that Derek would be picking them up, and would be able to sense in the same moment Artic got into the car, that he was a werewolf. “Stiles!?” he shouts as Stiles climbs in with Artic, leaving Isaac to jump into the front seat. “Oh, sorry… this is Artic.” Derek is eyeing Stiles in the mirror, not Artic. “He’s from another pack here… Felly something.” Artic shrinks as Derek growls. “I don’t know anything about a pack named Felly.” Artic clears his throat gently, looking down into his lap, not managing to look into the alphas eyes. “We’re a very private pack… my brother’s the alpha.” Derek starts the car and drives off. He doesn’t say anything, but Stiles can see both Isaac and Artic shrink down into their seats, and Stiles swears he can hear a very low growl just floating in the air, so deep it can’t belong to anyone else than Derek. 

“You two, inside!” Derek pushes Isaac inside and pointing for Artic to follow. Stiles sighs, he is in for a proper yelling. “How dare you invite another werewolf into our home, without even asking me… you should have called or texted before I even picked you up!” Derek’s hands are on his shoulder and pushing him up against the wall. “I didn’t invite him in, you did… you practically pushed him in!” Stiles protests. “You know what I meant, you didn’t tell me you were bringing anyone!” Derek is really angry, veins are pulsing on his neck and his forehead I tight with anger. “He’s harmless Derek, look at him” Derek snarls, not letting go of Stiles. “How can you know, what if he’s just fooling you to get close to my pack, do you know what kind of position you’re putting me in by bringing him here?” Derek doesn’t wait for an answer… “You’re making me look weak, something that can be used against me if his alpha is after me… He is not harmless because he’s a stick of bones and a beta!” Stiles tries prying away from Derek’s grip, and in that very moment the anger falls from Derek’s face, as frustrated tears betray Stiles and slip down his cheeks. Derek leans in and Stiles almost shrieks in surprise as he feels Derek’s nose under his ear and briefing his skin all the way down to his shoulder. “Go inside… you’re not allowed to bring him upstairs, I want to be able to see you both. Don’t trust him.” Derek backs off, and lets Stiles wipe the tears without mentioning it. 

“I didn’t mean to get you into trouble.” Artic mumbles silently as Stiles enter the room, to find him standing in the middle of the room, with Peter staring at him from the couch, where Isaac is in his lap and curling into his neck. “It was my own fault… lets just get those papers done.” Artic nods, keeping his head down when Derek enters the house.   
Stiles is angry whilst they work, so angry he can almost smell it himself. Artic seems to be ignoring it and works on getting the paper done. Every time Stiles looks up, Derek is staring directly at Artic or him. “Where does your pack keep at?” Derek asks suddenly, Artic tenses but his voice is still very much calm as he answers. “Just down the block actually, west of the school.” Derek doesn’t change his facial expression. “How many are you?” Artic does glance over at Derek. “My alpha, and my two other brothers… they are both betas. And two other betas, my cousins. So in full number we’re six.” Derek nods and get’s up, walking over to the stove. “Staying for dinner?” He asks, Artic is so tense Stiles can see his muscles shaking. “If that’s fine by you, we’re not done with the paper.” Derek just grunts in response. 

“Artic?” Scott sounds shocked as he enters the room, Artic looks up from the paper he’s been writing on for ages. “Hi Scott.” He sounds so innocent as he speaks, both Derek and Stiles ask the same question, at the same time “You know each other?” Artic blushes and Scott looks like he might want to lie and say no... But he masters to mutter out. “Eh, we met at the party last night.” He goes crimson whilst he speaks, making it obvious there is some back story. “He ehh… remember what I said last night?” Stiles frowns “You should have seen her, she was so hot, and left me with this!” He had pointed to his neck, where the bruise is still just barely visible. “Dude, the entire pack can’t be gay!” Stiles protest before he regrets his words… it’s no secret Derek had long ago given up on women, and Peter and Isaac were practically all over each other in that very moment, and with Scott admitting he was with Artic last night… and himself… loving Derek? 

“You’re pack too, Stiles.” Derek growls, not getting the message Stiles just leaked. “Oh he knows.” Peter sounds so smug. Scott’s eyes land on Stiles. “Wait, you said you weren’t sure!” Stiles stutters, he can’t find any word, he just sits there dazed. “Are you telling me, you were with him last night?” Derek asks, his hand landing heavily on Artic’s neck, making Artic wince, more out of submission rather then pain. “I… didn’t mean to, instinct kicked in, I didn’t… he. Yes?” Scott is rubbing his neck the very same way Artic was earlier that day, at school. “You better not be trying to get under their skin, I don’t trust you for a second...” Derek does let go though turning back to his cooking. “Why did you come to me, if you already knew Scott, was it only to get to him?” Stiles can’t help but to sound deceived. “No, I would never… I just, I was scared that Scott didn’t show up because of me… but then you turned out to be great, and I never actually found time to ask why Scott wasn’t at school” Artic looks over to Scott, who’s sitting down across from Stiles, looking puzzled. “I came out to you, when Allison… I told you!” Stiles shrinks in his seat, and suddenly Derek is behind him. “Don’t talk to him like that!” Stiles just shrinks further, but he is relived that he didn’t have to stand up to an angry Scott. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Scott sound so much smaller after that, like a wounded puppy. “I didn’t know… I don’t know, not for sure.” Stiles blushes franticly. 

“Artic, I didn’t not show up because of you… though I didn’t even know we went to the same school.” Artic clears his throat. “Scott, it was a party for our class only.” Scott groans and rests his head on the table. “I know, but I thought you were there with someone or something, because I couldn’t remember seeing you before.” Derek’s chopping gets louder as he breathes out in frustration. “Doesn’t matter… I’m sorry I ran out on you.” Artic mumbles, whilst still writing stuff down on his paper. “Here, eh, we’re working on a paper for tomorrow in physics.” Stiles offers, to make peace. Scott does ease, and joins in on reading and writing things on the papers. Derek calms down too.   
They all watch as Artic eats, he looks like he’s starving, not slowing down, not even after his second portion. Derek looks like he is trying to look into Artic’s mind, Scott on the other side, has a small smile resting on his lips… Isaac only glancing from time to other, as he sits very close to Peter, who has stopped eating and is looking at Artic like he wants to wrap him up in silk. Stiles just frowns, he’s a wolf alright, but even Scott can’t eat with that kind of passion. Artic doesn’t seem to take any notice, sitting there with his back painfully straight and elbows at his sides, eating neatly, but fleetingly. “So, Isaac said you didn’t look well today… Stiles.” Peter comments, breaking the silence, and everyone looks up, even Artic, who swallows heavily and shoots in “No, he really didn’t.” making Derek tense up and glare at Stiles. “You never mentioned not feeling well.” He sounds calm, but there is such anger under his breath that Stiles can feel his chest tightening. “He looked okay until after he fell asleep in class.” Isaac sais, and then freezing, forgetting he wasn’t supposed to say anything about that. “Okay, lets talk about something else!” Peter tries, but Derek knocks his fist into the table. “You slept, in class!?” Stiles scowls at Isaac. “What happened with our compromise!?” Derek gets up and leaves the table, shutting his door with such force the plates on the table shake and make a rattling sound. 

“So… do you like Artic?” Stiles asks as he and Scott retires to their room for the night, Artic left several hours ago, though he seemed reluctant to leave. Derek hasn’t been out of his room since he had stormed out earlier. Stiles, Scott and Artic have finished the papers and then just stayed up for a few hours… but Artic was forced to leave when Peter decided he was turning in for the night, because he either didn’t trust Artic.   
“I guess, I don’t really know him yet, I mean this is just the second time I see him.” Scott turns in his bed, looking over at where Stiles is still struggling to get out of his pants. “I’d like to meet him again, like this I mean… without the alcohol and everything.” Stiles frowns, sitting down on his bed. “But I thought werewolves weren’t affected by alcohol like people are, I mean I sure as hell get affected by it… But, I thought you didn’t?” Scott sighs, like he is too tired to explain, but he still does though. “Well, we, at least I’m not affected in the same way, but there is something about the way a room changes when it’s filled with drunk people, it slurs our sense I suppose. Yeah, that’s how I’d get explain it, you get slower, therefor we do to, in some ways.” Stiles hums curiously… 

“Hey Stiles, I didn’t want to ask, but… were you really not feeling well today?” Stiles turns, facing away from Scott, lying to a werewolf is extremely hard, and the more you strive to accomplish it, the more they sense it. Sometimes Stiles can mask it with anger, but Stiles isn’t angry, and he has nothing to be angry about in the situation he is in.   
“I’ve been better.” He chooses not to say anything else, and Scott can probably tell that Stiles doesn’t want to talk about it… At least he doesn’t ask anymore, and shortly after, he falls asleep. Leaving Stiles awake and alone, knowing what comes next. It’s like it’s bound to happen, the nightmare will just show up again, replaying itself. What if it happens every time he falls asleep? What if Stiles will never have a night with proper sleep. He wish he had had nightmares before, so he could have known what he could do about it, if there was anything in particular that could help him fall asleep and not see his friends and the man he maybe in some ways, might one day, admit to himself that he probably does really love, die! 

 

In some ways it would have been easier for Stiles if he understood why he has those nightmares, why does he get them at this point, why do they play out the way they do… and why do they repeat themselves. He has only had the nightmare four times, but he fears to have to live it again, because once he is asleep he can’t tell it is a nightmare and live it all over again, but when he wakes he is drained from having lived it again, he just doesn’t want to imagine what it would be like to live it again. But he has to sleep, doesn’t he? 

"The only thing he can feel is pain, the only thing he can see is Derek’s pained eyes and the only thing he can hear is Isaac screaming, and what sounds like himself choking on air.  
“DEREK!” "

“Dude, Stiles, wake up!” It’s Scott shaking his body, waking him up, but only just in time to live the whole nightmare over again. Stiles shouts out, as Scott’s hands are resting on his shoulders. “Calm down, it’s just a nightmare, or something.” Scott looks utterly distressed. Stiles is heaving for his breath, curling in on himself, just as the door to their room shoot up. Somewhere inside of Stiles he hoped it was Derek, but the man standing in the door is at that moment as far from Derek as possible. Peter. He likes Peter, he really has started to trust the man, but he needs his dad, and now the closest thing he has, is Derek. But the thought of considering Derek the closest thing he has to a father is sickening, because he sure as hell isn’t falling for his father, he loves the man, yes, but as a father. He isn’t saying he loves Derek, just that he is having inappropriate feelings for him. No not inappropriate, just… Derek will never love him back, he is a wreck, and that from only two years of dealing with what Derek has lived with his whole life. 

“Sorry for busting in like that, I was worried something had happened, or that someone had broken in or something.” Peter is sitting on Stiles bed, looking at him with worried eyes. Stiles is still trying to calm his breathing down, still trying to gather his mind enough to realize it was a nightmare… it had been so much more livid that the previous times. “Eh, should I get Derek or something?” Scott is standing awkwardly behind them, not knowing if he should given some space, or try to comfort Stiles as well.   
“Just go check on Isaac, he’s probably worried something is going on.” Even Stiles knows and is aware enough to know it’s just an excuse to get Scott out off the room, because the walls aren’t especially soundproof and if Isaac really was worried, he was undoubtedly plastered to one of them, listening in on them. “Sure…” Scott seems relieved to leave the room, and somehow that just makes Stiles feel even worse, how could things get like this so quickly? He feels like he is living a hell, and they just moved, he just started school.. the night terrors has just started, why does it feel like he has gone through hell and worse in just those short days… The answer is obvious, but Stiles denies it more then his feelings for Derek. Stiles is tired… exhausted.


	4. Wish you were here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles' life turn for the darker rapidly as he wanders of to darker places...  
> He's starting to feel more and more helpless, and can't help but breaking down.   
> And then he does something Derek couldn't have foreseen. 
> 
> Will he be okay, Will Derek find him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never realized how quickly this story progresses in the beginning!   
> It gets better throughout the story, I promise! 
> 
> oh, and surprising fact about Stiles mom at the end! 
> 
> Hope it's not too bad, still unbetaed ;) so all mistakes are mine!

“Something I can get you, or are you okay to go to bed again?” Peter asks, he’s really been fantastic the hour it has taken Stiles to completely calm back down again. And stiles really wants to go back to sleep, he does…But the horror of his nightmare coming back is just a little too mayor. “No, thank you… You go back to Isaac. I’ll be downstairs for a while.” Peter frowns, but nods, helping Stiles get up as he is a bit stiff from being curled up on his bed. He walks out of the room, and he can hear Scott’s about to follow him, but yet again Peter is his savior and stops him. Stiles goes directly down to the gym that Derek has created in their mini cellar, to keep Isaac and Scott in shape, he never really makes Stiles go to the gym, but that’s because he is scared Stiles will get hurt, or try too hard because having three werewolves around him working out, isn’t be good for his self-esteem. 

The gym helps him for about half an hour, before he remembers something his mother once said. “Honey, nightmares are built on guilt.” It is true, when Stiles thinks about it, all his nightmares can be connected to guilt. When his mother died, his father had told him about him having nightmares for months after, but he can’t remember them anymore. He’d just been told they were about him seeing his mother die, over and over again, but not from cancer, but from him forgetting to turn off the stove, or running into the road and she follows to stop him, but gets hit by a car. Stiles is sitting on the floor shaking, the memories of his mother dying wake up inside him, tearing up the already torn scar. But Derek isn’t dead, Scott isn’t dead, Peter isn’t dead, why does he dream that they die. Is he upset he isn’t of more use, or couldn’t help ease with the numbers as they fight, because he is a mere useless human? Why is he so troubled? He does feel partly guilty for Erica and Boyd dying, but that is because he could have figured about the bolt earlier… that is the one thing he can help with, and his angsty mind had failed to figure it out in time. But then why didn’t he see them dying instead. Maybe he is scared that he’ll mess up again and the rest would die too… leaving him all on his own. 

Stiles sobs once as he can honestly feel that he is on his own… His best friend is moving on, and has found someone new to be with, or at least date or something… Artic. Peter and Isaac are together, in some strange way and that has dramatically changed both of their lives… Derek is adapting to being alpha, and does his best to always satisfy every need of his pack… even moving them to freaking London. And yet, Stiles is sitting on the floor, thinking about his mom and crying because he failed to do the only thing he can actually contribute to with in the pack. 

Stiles gets up eventually, when he is too sore from sitting on the floor, and too cold.   
He walks upstairs again, hoping that no one comes out to meet him… But he halts at his door, Scott will be in there. Maybe he should just sleep on the couch or something, but Derek will kill him for sleeping there, he will get cold under just that one thin, rugged thing that they excuse for a blanket. Stiles doesn’t even know why they have it, because Derek and the others certainly don’t get cold… He suspects it’s in case he does. But he has too much pride to ever use it, and quite frankly… it smells dodgy. 

 

Somehow he can’t believe where he got his nerve from, because he finds himself standing outside of Derek’s door, just about to knock on it. His only issue is that he doesn’t really know why he’s there. Saying it’s because he doesn’t want to sleep on the couch just sounds stupid. But he is drawn there. “Derek?” his voice is painfully sore from sobbing for so long, so he is surprised when Derek doesn’t even respond. He slowly slides up the door and finds the room to be empty, he would have thought it was cold… but no, Derek’s room is warm, and the smell is inviting, in difference of that dodgy blanket on the couch. “Derek?” he asks again, just to be sure that he isn’t hiding inside the closet or something… Stiles almost snorts, Derek would never hide in a closet… he’d have too much pride, and anyways, why would he hide from Stiles? 

The window isn’t completely shut, so Derek must have left through the window, what a childish thing to do, crawl out of the window. Stiles shuts it and turns to leave, he has probably woken Scott already so he might as well just go sleep there. But his mind is willing him to stay, just for a rest, Derek probably wont be back before morning anyways and Stiles will have been woken up by his nightmare till then, probably a few times. The nightmare just doesn’t seem as scary at the moment he crawls into Derek’s bed. He remembers how it smelled from the last time he buried his nose into Derek’s sheets. It’s almost euphoric how strong Derek smells, and it’s not a fresh smell, not really… It’s musky and earthy, like when you walk in a puddle when it’s raining. Derek smells like that, and also like grass that’s just been cut and had the sun shining on it… He just smells like nature. 

What wakes Stiles is actually not the nightmare though, because he didn’t have it. It’s Derek, pulling on the window… that Stiles shut. Stiles freaks and scrambles to get out of bed stuck in the sheets and blankets surrounding him, during the night he’d had to curl up in them all, because he had been neatly tucked and holding Derek’s pillow in his embrace. He has somehow managed to get under Derek’s bed as Derek opens the window, he sighs profoundly and walks over to the bed, freezing. Stiles holds his breath, but he knows Derek must be able to hear his heart beating like frantic. “Stiles?” for some reason Stiles breaks out crying, not able to hold his breath anymore, not even the tears or sobs. “Are you crying… under my bed?” Derek sounds bewildered as he squats down and stays like that… Stiles can see his hands folding on his knees, but makes no move to pull him out from under there. Stiles confuses himself by pitifully reaching out from under the bed, with hands like a child reaching for his mother from the crib. But there is just something inside him that wills him to do it, forces him to follow the safe aura that floats around Derek. His alpha. 

Derek grips his hands just below the elbow and swiftly pulls him out, using the strength from getting up into a standing position. “What’s the matter Stiles, I’m not mad at you, you know that right.” Derek pauses, “At least not for falling asleep in class.” Stiles is still trying to breathe beyond the sobs that are rippling through him without mercy. “Help.” Stiles just can’t manage to mutter anything else, that is everything his mind is screaming for… help. “I don’t know how, or why… help with what Stiles, you won’t tell me anything, so I don’t know what to do!” Derek sits down and leans back, allowing Stiles to practically lie on him, nose into his neck, probably drooling and snotting down his back… But Derek doesn’t complain. And before he can ask another question, Stiles is sleeping, snoring lightly into his ear, and it makes Derek feel content. 

 

Stiles wakes up as Derek moves beneath him, he looks over to the clock on Derek’s nightstand and huffs… He has to get up and get ready for school. It takes him a full minute to realize that the situation he is in is not a normal one, he doesn’t usually sleep with Derek, he never sleeps with Derek. He was just found crying under Derek’s bed, by Derek, that had assured him he was not angry with Stiles. This is so not okay, this was awkward. Could it be signed as pack behavior, or is it just some mental mistake made by Stiles’ mind? Stiles wildly considered leaving and never coming back, he can’t let Derek know… Derek should never have found him like he did last night, Stiles isn’t supposed to show weakness! 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Derek’s hands tighten around him so quickly Stiles can’t make a run for the door. “School?” Derek snorts. “You asked me to help you, the only think you’ll be doing today, is explaining me how, and why.” Derek sits up, letting Stiles slip off his body and down onto the bed. “I’ll just be downstairs… Isaac is up waiting for breakfast like usually. “ Stiles is about to protest, but Derek leaves the room. He can hear Scott getting up, and asking where Stiles is at, Derek just answers that he’s asleep and not feeling very well. When they all are downstairs all Stiles can hear is Derek moving around in the kitchen and Scott and Isaac mumbling about something, he can’t make out, you know, because he’s human. Peter is at the door and if he hadn’t made a sound, Stiles would have never noticed him. Stiles doesn’t know what to say though, he blushes madly, again struggling to get up. “You were told to stay in bed, by a upset alpha, if I was you… I’d listen.” Peter doesn’t move to stop him, but his words are warning enough. “Just… try to let him in, it’s within him to help you… whether that be getting you professional help, or taking you out of school, whatever it is you need, you must let him sort it for you… I don’t know how much you know about an alphas role in all of this mess, but it is to keep you safe. Derek will go mad, if he can’t keep you safe.” Stiles sighs, he knows all of this, Derek and Peter have both explained it to him so many times, over and over again. 

“I am safe, there is no one out after me, or you… There’s nothing to protect me from.” Stiles actually feels safe, he isn’t worried about anything right at the moment, he knows they probably will end up in some mess again during their lives, but that’s the price of being in a pack…. And he is willing to accept it, even if he doesn’t like it, dreads it even… He just can’t stand failing to do the one thing he can again, who will he lose next time? “You might be safe from others… but what about from yourself?” Peter’s words are awakening, because Stiles has never looked at like that. He has never considered killing himself or even hurting himself, and he never physically hurt himself on purpose. However there was the aspect of mentally hurting yourself, the kind that no one sees… But he has never considered that Derek could probably feel it, sense what was going on inside of him. Scott, Peter and Isaac aren’t as sensitive to things like that, because they aren’t alphas. But he has forgotten the one thing Peter had told him the night Boyd died. “An alpha can sense the mental wellbeing of his pack members… He knew Boyd didn’t fear death, not after Erica died. He could sense the relief Boyd felt as he died.” Derek can feel their mental wellbeing. Derek can feel Stiles pain, confusion… probably even the horrid feeling of failing them that he has had all along, and thereof Derek has never asked Stiles to do anything for him anymore, anything that involves the pack. Has Derek been protecting him from himself all along? 

 

It’s only and hour later that Derek returns to his room, a plate in one hand and a cup in the other. “Here, eat.” Stiles sits up again, not looking at Derek, for some reason he feels shame… That Derek has known he was weak all along, but then why did he ad him to the pack, if he knew. “You never told me why you chose me.” Stiles says, mouth filled with oatmeal. Derek frowns as he sits down on his bed, looking at Stiles, not making any signs of answering. “To be in your pack… Peter is your uncle, you wanted Scott and Isaac. Erica and Boyd, you chose all of them, because they could contribute to the pack.” Derek looks down, staring off into something inside of his mind, that maybe he didn’t want to look into, but he did… For Stiles. to explain. “Stiles, you also contribute to this pack, I would have been dead… you’ve saved me more than once, it wouldn’t have been a pack at all, without you.” Stiles doesn’t take it to heart, he feels like it’s just pity talk… like the kind ones mother uses to cheer her children on, even when they didn’t really do good. “So you aren’t just sorry I got involved and this is your consolation?” Derek looks up, and his eyes flash in red as he growls deeply. “Stop this, stop this useless teenage weakness… thinking everything is your fault, you couldn’t have done any more!” Derek snaps, he’s held it in for so long, felt Stiles wallow in shame and sense of being a burden and a failure. 

But Derek shouldn’t have snapped. Stiles literally throws the bowl he’s holding down on the floor, well more like drops it as he sprints out of the room, towards the bathroom. He throws up, over and over again. Derek yelling at him honestly made him feel sicker than he has ever felt, like his gut is twisting, forcing the content of his stomach to burn his throat on it’s way up. Derek doesn’t come after him, he can feel Stiles frustration, shame, embarrassment… Derek stays behind, cleaning up the floor from the shattered porcelain and remains of the oatmeal. “That didn’t go too well, did it?” It’s Peter, standing over him, looking down on him. “Thought the idea was to go gentle on him…” Derek sighs, he wants to scream, he really does. “I tried, but hearing him say those things, it just makes me angry, angrier than I can handle.” Peter turns and heads out again, figures he should give them more time. “Just remember you were the one who wanted him to talk.” Derek shouldn’t have snapped. 

Derek stays in the room, waiting for Stiles to come back he can still feel that longing that lies within Stiles, it’s distant but it’s there. Something is off, he can sense it… But he needs to give Stiles some time. The shower is running and Derek figures Stiles is sitting in the tub, like he usually does, he heard him sit down, the squeaking sound of the marble sides of the tub against his skin. He wants to watch Stiles shower, only because its always in the shower Stiles is the calmest. Sometimes Derek would listen to his heartbeats. Even wolfed out, hearing someone’s heard over the sound of running water and across two rooms, can be challenging, but Derek has always been able to catch the beat. That’s why he’s worried now, he can’t hear it… There is no heart beat, there is no breathing. “STILES!” Derek runs into the bathroom, only to find it empty, the water running directly into the tub, and not down Stiles body, not even Stiles lifeless body… He’s just not there. 

“STILES!?” he looks down at the time, Stiles can have been taken more then a few minutes ago… Taken? Or left? Would Stiles actually run? But the sound of Stiles getting into the tub, Derek had heard it…. Had he climbed out the window, would Stiles be smart enough to climb over the tub to make the impression he was safely sitting in the tub? If he’d been taken, wouldn’t Derek have heard? Wouldn’t stiles have screamed?  
What if someone had been waiting behind the door, and somehow startled him before he could react…. But his heart would give it away, Derek would have felt it… Stiles had left? Had Stiles really left him, them? 

“Peter… tell me you saw Stiles on your way out?” Derek is on the phone as he gets into his car, he couldn’t smell Stiles around the apartment at all, how could Stiles have covered his smell? He only found Isaac’s smell, and Scott, but that was at the front door. “No, why?” Derek growls, it turns into more of a whine though. “I can’t find him! Peter he left!” Peter doesn’t answer for the first few seconds, he’s too shocked, the kid would actually leave? “You’re sure he left?” Derek whines again, still not haven started the car, he doesn’t know where to go, where to search… where would Stiles go, does Stiles know where to go, he never went exploring the town, he always stayed inside or at school.   
“Yes, I’m sure he left… he fooled me into thinking he was having a shower, and left whilst I was busy talking to you.” Peter swears on the other side of the phone. “What should we do, he is in no state to be alone right now.” Derek groans as he agrees, Stiles is a danger to himself, adding to the fact that he tends to blindly trust strangers, even with knowing that kinds of secrets a person can have. Derek blames himself for having no idea where to start searching. 

“I’ll just call Isaac and make sure he didn’t just leave to be with them.” Peter hangs up on him, and he sits there, in his car, lost. Is this how Stiles feels, when he doesn’t know how to contribute to the pack, because Derek sure feels helpless, and it is not a nice feeling, not when somebodies life could be depending on him. Maybe Derek has gone too far in protecting Stiles, but what choice did he have, had he not separated him from the dangers he would have either gone mad from all the horrid things he’d see, or get killed from getting in the way, and not being quick enough to get away… He is human, he isn’t made to live in a pack that is constantly under danger, few humans in time have survived living in packs like Derek’s. 

“Tell me he’s with them” Derek prays as Peter calls him again. “No, and they also insist on helping with searching… I don’t think you can convince them to stay in classes this time.” Derek groans, he should have known better than to let Peter call them, but then again, it’ll be easier to find Stiles, if there are more people searching for him. “Tell Isaac to go with you, and Scott to go where he think he might find Stiles.” Derek hangs up and drives off to the only place he can think of finding Stiles. The old home his mother lived in, it was east of town, it was a long way to get there, but Stiles was smart… he’d find a way. He remembered Stiles crying about his mother last night, so he figured Stiles would be there. Derek hadn’t known, and he’d been pretty upset when Peter told him what he had found. Stiles had been digging in some old papers that belong to his mother, and found where she once lived. Derek had assumed she was from Bacon Hills, but his mother was from London… the place Stiles had been so eager to move to. Maybe that was why, maybe he was looking for closure.


	5. Need You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will they find Stiles, what has happened to him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not uploading yesterday!! I've had a lot to do at school these last few days!  
> And I'll be away tomorrow, so I won't be able to upload before on friday! 
> 
> hope there's not too many mistakes!  
> enjoy!

The search for Stiles has been going on for hours, so they all decide to meet up and have something to eat before they continue. Derek insist that falling over due to exhaustion won’t help them in finding Stiles… and though Derek would rather keep on looking, he knows he needs to be with them too. He can feel how it’s taking its toll on Isaac in particular, and Scott nonetheless. Even Peter is struggling to cope with not even finding any traces of him anywhere… they have covered a vast area, and for there to be no traces of him anywhere, it can’t be good. 

“He wasn’t at his mothers old home?” Peter asks as Derek gets out of his car, shutting the door with inhuman force. “No, the papers he had were old, the house doesn’t exist anymore… I looked around, and there were no traces of him, nothing at all.” Isaac comes over, looking pitifully tired and worried. Derek should have cared about keeping up their appearance and not letting anyone get the idea that they were in any way different.. There is nothing more dangerous than people starting to think, consider possibilities that they were not normal. Many packs were marked as polygamists or just people who fancied orgies. It ‘s obvious they can’t hide Isaac’s affection for Peter, but that means the rest have to look like family or friends… But Derek can’t push him away as Isaac curled into his chest, his nose hiding behind Derek’s ear and taking long deep breaths, breathing in the sent of his alpha. This was the part of being an alpha that Derek doesn’t really like, them depending on him, and him being some kind of happy drug for them, making them all touchy feely. Peter usually hides his attraction from his alpha, but then again, it is strange with Peter, because they are family, more then pack, it is blood relation, so that proper alpha to beta bond, isn’t quite the same. Scott was too proud to budge for the temptation… at least he had been up till then. Derek could feel a strong tugging in his heart, and he knew it came from Scott. Stiles is his best friend, Scott is the one that had gotten him involved. Guilt. 

“Take Isaac.” There is a small whine from him as Derek hands him over to Peter, who nods and lets the teen curl in on him instead. Isaac gets that look in his eye when something he can’t quite deal with happens, he’ll look scared, and worried, like he’s a target for something. Scott just turns more determined to fix things, to make them right, to just make everything right… that’s why seeing him looking so defeated is tugging inside of Derek’s chest…. Well, more like ripping. “We’ll find him, he probably just needed some time, this summer has been pretty hard on him… I just don’t think he was prepared for the aftermath.” Derek is holding Scott tightly to his chest, the other male being shorter than him working in his advantage as he has a hand firmly on Scott’s neck and the other around his shoulders. Scott’s arms are putting so much pressure on Derek’s ribs that it’s hard for him to breathe, but he says nothing, does nothing, just stays there until Scott pulls away. 

“We’ve looked everywhere, and I can’t smell him anywhere, apart from at school, but that’s from yesterday!” Derek sighs, and just as he is about to say something, a voice he failed to notice was amongst them, spoke. “Do you think he covered his scent with yours?” Artic says, timidly, like he knows it’s not the right time for him to speak. “How exactly do you figure he’d do that?” “I ran away once, I just put on some of my brothers clothes and shoes.” Derek freezes… Isaac’s smell was the only one behind the house. “Isaac you haven’t been around the house lately, have you?” Isaac shakes his head.   
“Pair off again, Peter, you take Isaac home and stay there, in case he returns. Scott… Artic, this way.” Derek throws his keys to Peter and sets off down the street. 

Stiles is wandering around, not quite sure where he is anymore, he is wearing ridiculously large shoes, Isaac is even the one with the smallest feet amongst the wolves, and yet Stiles almost falls on his face time and time again as he trips in the shoes. It isn’t light hearted that he rids himself of the shoes, even tough that might make it easier for Derek to find him, and he doesn’t want to be found. He had wanted to go to his mothers old home, but he figured that would be too obvious… And having done his research he knows the house she lived in is no longer there, it had burnt down decades ago.   
“Looking for something to make your day easier, puppet?” A old lady stands behind him, by second looks maybe not so old, just aged by tough times. “Depends” Stiles can’t believe what his voice is saying, because he sure as hell is not looking for drugs. “Depends on the price?” The woman asks, walking up closer to him, her hair grey, but probably from being dirty, rather than aged. 

“Don’t be silly, you can share with me… puppet.” A second voice rises behind him, backing him up into a corner. “Just reach your hand out, it’ll be quick, the needle is fresh.” The man really doesn’t give him much choice as he grasps Stiles hand, pulling it to him. “Now, you can sit still and let me find a good spot, or you can struggle and I’ll stab you with it.” The man warns as Stiles twists around in his grip. “Let me go, I don’t want it!” Stiles cries, panic hits him when the needle really isn’t fresh, like the man said, there’s already blood on it. “DEREK!” Stiles sobs it out as he slides down the brick wall behind him, giving in to the mans tightening grip on his upper arm. “Please, don’t do this… I haven’t done anything!” Stiles pulls his hand again, as the needle is dangerously close to his skin, just about to stick him. “But you will, once you relax, just let it take you somewhere nice, and I’ll show you a good time!” The man smiles evilly, that’s when Stiles realizes that the man isn’t simply looking to hit up a teenager against his will, it’s for his own gain as well. It’s probably just some shitty drug to keep him still, or to make him forget or something. “DEREK!” 

Derek swears he can hear Stiles crying his name, even if it’s just in his head that he can hear the voice… he can feel it, deep inside of himself he can feel Stiles screaming, he can feel how scared Stiles. “We need to find him now!” Derek looks panicked and it alerts Scott that something is definitely wrong. “But we have no trace of him!” Scott shouts, sounding like he’s about to break down crying. “We have been looking for four hours, and there is not a single trace of him Derek!” Scott rarely shouts at Derek, rarely gets angry enough to shout. “But we’re not looking for Stiles, Scott, We’re looking for Isaac’s traces, they just don’t belong to him.” Scott turns to scold Artic, when he sees Artic standing with Isaac’s shoes in his hands. “Where did you fin those!?” Derek has never been more relived to see those unpractical, smelly shoes that he had scolded Isaac for walking around in all the time. “Just over here, and if I’m not mistaken… that scent is Stiles’.” Artic points down the street, and just as he says it, Derek can literally smell Stiles all over…

 

“This way!” Derek sets of down the street, running as quickly as his human legs will carry him, he can feel how close they are, he can almost feel the heath radiating of Stiles skin… And he can feel how poorly he is. “Looking for some late night fun?” a lady asks as they slow down when Stiles scent is covered and hardly traceable “No!” Derek growls angrily, grasping the lady by both shoulders. “Have you seen a teenager around her, not long ago. Really pale, small moles on his cheeks, dark hair… brown eyes, probably wearing baggy clothes?” Derek is surprised he could even find that many words, and speak them so calmly. “Oh, you mean Eric’s boytoy… sure, they’re over there, having some fun.” Derek’s mind goes dark, he had lectured them about drugs… Would Stiles really defy him like that…But then he remembered the screaming, BOYTOY!? 

“Tell me where they are, now!” Derek shouts, almost pushing the lady over. “Derek, don’t hurt her, she obviously doesn’t know any better!” Scott tries pulling Derek away. “Oh, so you’re Derek.” The woman looks up at him, with an evil smile. “He’s been crying for you, for ages… you’re a little late though, he is very pliable now!” She laughs, she actually laughs. “So Artic, didn’t think I’d be seeing you anytime soon.” She laughs bitterly. “You’ve never said no to a bit of fun… you know you get special prices, regular customer as you are… At least used to be.” Scott frowns in disgust and pulls Artic further away from her, creating a shield between them. Derek is growling with anger, trying to make out Stiles’ scent. The only thing to show Stiles’ presence is his watch that the lady is gripping between her fingers. “Give him to me, he is mine!” Derek shouts. “Derek…” The voice is small, pained, slurred. “Stiles?” Derek can hardly find it within him to answer, he really doesn’t want to know… this shouldn’t be happening, it’s not meant to be like this. 

“You get away from him!” Derek sprints over, bending down over Stiles… A very cold Stiles, a very drugged Stiles… and a very naked Stiles. The rest of the day just fades into a massive blur for Derek, this was what he was meant to do, protect them… especially Stiles. He has failed, Stiles is alive, and in no danger, hooked up in a hospital bed… But Derek knows he’ll be scarred for life, so Derek has made up his mind. He is sending Stiles back to Beacon Hills, to live with his father. This isn’t the place for him to live, anywhere but with Derek, Derek is dangerous to Stiles. He needs to be home, in Beacon Hills, where he will be safe… 

It won’t be unsafe to live there, for as long as Derek stays away. “So, you’re really splitting him from the pack… that’s your idea of keeping him safe?” Peter asks, Derek hasn’t moved from Stiles’ hospital bed since he was put there late last night. “He is obviously not safe with us, we have caused him too much pain… I called his father, Stiles isn’t even eighteen yet… there is nothing I can do if Sheriff Stilinski wants him back.” Peter stays silent for a long time, before he speaks again. “But then again, you offered to send him back, saying that would be for the best… Derek, have you considered what Stiles wants?” Derek growls, not liking the way Peter keeps stepping out of line, he might be family, but Derek is still the alpha. “He made that clear when he ran.” 

“He was having a bad day, and you know he didn’t take the drugs… he was forced!” Peter tries beating some sense into Derek, splitting them is really not going to help anyone, it would throw the balance off again, make Isaac a nerve wreck, and Peter knows what I’ll do to Derek… it’s Scott’s best friend Derek is splitting from the pack, the only reason they are there in the first place. “No, but in Beacon Hills, he would have never been exposed to the drugs… it wouldn’t have been a problem!” Peter gives up, leaving Derek to sit by Stiles’ bed for hours to come. 

“How is he?” Isaac asks weakly as Peter returns home, to find three very scared looking Beta’s curled up on the couch. “He’s not awake yet.” Peter walks over to Isaac and sits down on the edge of the couch, where he can pull Isaac closer to himself. “We were talking about Derek.” Peter frowns, but he should have guessed, Peter said he’d call if Stiles had woken up again, and assured them that Stiles was safe. “He’s with Stiles, he’s angry he wasn’t able to get there in time to stop them from hurting Stiles.” Peter can feel Isaac’s tears slipping down his neck, but Isaac is all still, not sobbing or shaking… just still. “It does something to an alpha, when the weakest link of a pack is wounded, But Stiles is so much more than wounded, he was used.” Scott is clinging to Artic, who also seems majorly affected by it all. “It also does something to find the one you love, drugged down and raped in an alley.” Scott mumbles, there is something bitter in his voice, like he’s angry with Derek for not telling the truth. Scott always knew there was something between them, but he never thought he’d hear Derek say it. 

“Don’t you dare die on me Stiles, not now… We got this far!” Derek is leaning over Stiles lifeless body, looking down into slurred eyes, looking for life, anything. “I’d be mad if I didn’t love you this much…” Derek hardly whispers it, but they all heard it… Derek loves Stiles. They all heard it, apart form Stiles. “I need you, just don’t give up yet.” 

“It doesn’t help” Peter admits, sighing. When he looks down, Isaac is sleeping, not pleasantly, but sleeping. “You should go to bed too, we’ve been up all night…. There is nothing more we can do, Stiles is safe with Derek at the hospital.” Peter gets up, cradling Isaac’s long lean body to his. Carrying him up the stairs slowly. “I should probably leave then.” Artic says, getting up and heading for the hall. “No, Scott could use your company.” Peter says, leaving Scott and Artic alone in the early light of the sun. “Do you?” Artic asks, his voice is low and shaking. “More than anything right now.” Scott sobs. 

If Derek has foreseen that this is how things would end with him and Stiles, he should have never let him into his pack. It isn’t only because Derek loved Stiles, that he has wanted him in his pack, it’s more than that… But that’s what made it final. He loves Stiles, he is just too proud to admit it… Lately he hasn’t been like himself, at least not together with Stiles, but then again, how could he know that he was not being himself, that closed in jackass he has become, is certainly not who Derek really is, it’s just who he’d become after years of torture and mourning. Maybe Stiles is making him into who he really is? Maybe Stiles is good for him, he probably actually does need Stiles. But Stiles doesn’t need him, Stiles doesn’t need this… Stiles needs Beacon Hills, his father and too much time on his hands so that he can stuff his nose into his fathers work. Yeah, that’s what Stiles needs, and deserves, he doesn’t deserve this messed up chaos that he has been thrown into, because Derek has a ridiculous crush on him, no more than a crush… Derek really did see his future with Stiles in his arms, a slightly reluctant, rebel, teenage Stiles, with too much energy and too much time on his hands to find small ways to annoy Derek. But it was definitely just a crush. 

 

“Derek?” a small voice, slurred, pained… “Stiles!” Derek shoots up from his seat, grabbing Stiles’ hand and pulling it up to his mouth, kissing in, just briefly, but he can see the confusion that rises in Stiles’ eyes. “Where am I?” He asks, looking bewildered as he doesn’t recognize his surroundings. “Hospital…” Derek can’t muster to say anything else, so Stiles really doesn’t remember anything? Derek is going to have to tell Stiles that he has been molested!? That is just not fair, he can’t do that, maybe he can just pretend he has told him and take him home to his father… no one needs to know that Stiles doesn’t know. But Derek knows he can’t do that, Stiles deserves to know what happened to him, even if Derek prefers that he doesn’t know. 

“Why?” Stiles asks, trying to sit up, but winces… Derek can see him flushing. “What happened, why am I here?” Stiles looks down on his body, as to check for wounds or anything that can answer his questions. “You ran away from me” Derek says, backing away from Stiles letting go of his hand… “You ran away, and got yourself into trouble” Stiles frowns, sitting up, groaning lightly in pain. “What happened, Derek?” Derek looks down on the ground. “Someone drugged you, Stiles, drugged you to forget what they did to you.” Stiles turns green, freezing in that very position, almost sitting up, about to pull himself back on the bed. Derek walks over, not being able to stand how broken Stiles looks. “I didn’t find you in time to stop them…” Derek’s voice sounds so filled with regret, and everything that has been filling Stiles’ mind since he realized that he could probably have saved Erica and Boyd, had he just been a little bit quicker.   
“Did they…” Stile voice dries out, failing him in the last moment, and tears run down from his eyes and towards his bruised and chapped lips. “Rape you.” Stiles goes white and starts shaking. 

He really can’t help it as he throws up again, for the second time because of something Derek said. This time he can’t even get out of bed, so he ends up throwing up on the floor, besides the bed. “Nurse!” Derek calls out the door, figuring it’s time they check up on him… because there is nothing else he can do for Stiles. “He just woke up… he wanted to know what happened.” Derek mumbles, picking up his jacket. “ I told him.” The nurse nods, and smiles sadly up at him, but getting out of his way as Derek leaves the room. “I’ll be back in no more than two hours… I have family at home I need to check up on, teenagers.” Derek walks quickly, with no intentions of going back home… Peter can handle the teens, he probably has Isaac with him, and Scott’s probably still with Artic, they’ll be fine… They’ll all be fine, they’ll cope. But what about Stiles, he only has one person that can take care of him like family now... his dad, Stiles has to go home. 

“He’s awake…” Derek mumbles into his phone, before Peter can even say hello. “He is, how’s he taking it?” Peter asks, even though he knows Derek would rather not talk about it, Derek isn’t much of a talker really…. So the few chats they’ve had lately, are really the most they have spoken in ages. “He threw up. The nurses are with him now, they’ll probably give him something to sleep on.” Derek says, walking down the streets as morning is dawning behind him. “I hear it your not there anymore then?” Peter asks, he almost sound disappointed. “Needed some air, I’ll head back before he wakes up again.” Derek is about to hang up when Peter asks the question he has been dreading. “Did you tell him, that you’re sending him home?” Derek sighs, letting the phone fall form his ear as he says a simple, bitter “No.” Peter puts down his phone and looks down to find Isaac’s eyes shining up towards him. 

“Is Stiles going back to Beacon Hills?” he asks, looking like someone stole his favorite toy, and really, someone did. Stiles has been good for Isaac, someone to bring a bit of fun into their home. But lately, Stiles hasn’t been much fun… But Isaac doesn’t seem to mind, he is just happy to have them all around. “Maybe, but don’t tell Scott yet, I’m sure Derek wants to tell him… and certainly don’t tell Stiles.” Isaac nods weakly, letting Peter’s eyes go. “Listen, we’ll be fine… But Stiles needs to be somewhere safe and familiar for a while, Beacon is his home, with his dad, he won’t be pack like we are, that’s not possible.” Peter pulls his fingers through Isaac’s hair. “But it may not be permanent, Stiles just need some time, and London is not the right place to spend it.” Isaac hums in agreement, but he doesn’t really agree though, he doesn’t like the idea of Stiles not being amongst them. Stiles made everything better… He made them rethink every plan they had, because most of them consisted in attacking first and fiercest. Stiles has saved them more than once. And Stiles has made Derek settle, Isaac isn’t scared of Derek anymore… But what if he turned into the very same Derek that had thrown him out of his house, the only home Isaac had... Leaving him with having to live with Scott and his mum. 

“Should we tell Scott that Stiles is awake though?” Isaac wonders as he’s settled down next to Peter again. “We’ll tell him when he wakes up, he needs sleep… if we tell him now, he’ll be running to the hospital.” Isaac nods and closes his eyes again, crawling further up in the bed, so that he’s face to face with Peter and can hide his nose behind Peter’s ear. It’s by instinct that he does it, had he been human, sticking your nose behind Peter’s ear, probably wouldn’t have been something he’d want to do. But it’s submission, and safety, being that close to someone is what Isaac has always wanted, craved… needed? 

“Oh, Hi… you’re back!” The nurse smiles, seeing Derek walk up to Stiles’ room. “Yeah, the teenagers at home are being well taken care of by my uncle.” Derek looks into Stiles room, seeing him sleeping like that, looking so angelic. “He’s drugged down now, he had a bit of a fall out.” The nurse looks like she wants to run over and hug Stiles all better. “Oh, how come?” Derek asks, looking worried all of a sudden. “He didn’t take the news all that well… insisted on it being lies, nightmares.” Derek sighs, looking over at Stiles again, he’s laying completely still, which is something Stiles never does, he’d twist around and end up face down in the wrong end of the bed. This Stiles is sleeping still, almost like he’s dead… That’s why it hurts Derek to see him looking so peaceful… Last time he saw Stiles peaceful like that, was when he was resting in Derek arms as they were getting him to the hospital hours earlier… He looked blissed out, Derek knew it was because he was drugged, but it still stung to see it like that, knowing what had happened just moments before Derek had found him. 

“He’ll be fine you know, it might take time, and the road might not be pretty… But he’ll make it.” The nurse smiles, Derek shakes his head and walks up to Stiles room. “He’s already been through much more then what he can survive… he might make it, but he’ll be scarred.” Derek feels like punching the wall, but settles for huffing out in frustration.   
He opens Stiles’ door and walks in, shutting it behind him, feeling the air around him dissolve as he can the smell of Stile fills him again… He can hear Stiles heart beating steadily, and it’s all he needs to sit down and fall asleep in one of the chairs. 

 

“Derek… You should go home for a while, I’ll wait here with Stiles.” It’s Scott, sitting next to Stiles’ bed, Stiles is still sleeping blissfully, drugged. “No, I can’t leave, not until he wakes again…” Derek sits up for a bit, looking just to make sure they’re alone. “Is Peter with Isaac?” Scott nods and flushes. “Yeah, doing things I’d rather not talk about.” Derek frowns for a second but then gets the message and clears his throat. “Right.” They sit in silence for the following hour, just looking at Stiles, like they’re expecting him to wake from them glaring at him. “Do you think he’ll be fine?” Scott asks. “Eventually… I hope.” Derek responds, just as Stiles moves around in his bed, in a very Stiles like way.   
“Isaac told me you’re planning on sending home.” Derek chuckles once, more like a huff of breath. “I’m not planning it, I’ve decided it.” Scott looks at him, folding his hands before speaking up again. “You know, he’ll be eighteen soon…” Derek looks over at Scott, knowing where it’s going. “Six months, that’s not soon.” Scott shrugs. “He’ll probably come back, though.” Derek sighs. “Maybe.” 

Stiles is awake, he can hear what they’re saying… it hurts even more to know that once he gets into trouble, they send him back home. Derek probably never really looked at him as pack. Obviously he can’t send Isaac back, because he doesn’t have anyone else, But Scott… there was never a question of him leaving, not Erica or Boyd either. Just Stiles. He doesn’t pretend to wake up, he doesn’t want to face them. For some reason, he is too ashamed to even look at Scott… His best friend. The one that was there when he was found naked, raped and drugged. “Derek, why doesn’t he wake?” Stiles must have actually fallen asleep again, because the next voice he hears, belongs to Isaac, not Scott. “He’s tired, they’re keeping him drugged. “ Derek mumbles, sounding like he’s exhausted. “You should get some sleep.” Derek says to Isaac. “I will, you coming?” Two pair of feet leaves the room, and Stiles is finally alone. However when he does open his eyes, Derek is still there… and he realizes it was Peter that left with Isaac. 

“I thought you might be awake, your heartbeat changed whilst Isaac was here.” Derek is sitting by his bed, like really close, so close that Stiles swears he can almost feel Derek’s breath on him, if he just concentrates a little. “Didn’t…” his voice is rugged, and his throat is dry, making it hard for him to talk. “Doesn’t matter… you hungry?” Derek asks, and quite frankly, Stiles should have been expecting it. “Will you force me if I’m not?” Derek smiles sadly, well it’s not even really a smile. “No, but I’ll tell the nurses on you.” He jokes, half heartedly. “Don’t bother Derek, I can see you want to say something, just don’t.” Derek looks up to find Stiles looking at him with big wet eyes. “I should have protected you.” He says, getting up from his chair, leaning over Stiles and plants a kiss on his forehead and lets his fingers run through his hair. “Sorry, sorry for not being there in time.” Stiles wants to pull away, he really does… the thought of anyone touching him is just too much, he pulled away from the nurses and his heart went crazy when Isaac’s hand was resting on his, and when Scott touched his leg as he passed him on the way out… He has just never felt more vulnerable. But Derek’s touch is strangely welcoming. 

 

 

“Where are you going?” Stiles asks as Derek heads for the door, he looks back at Stiles and blinks a few times. “Just going to let the nurses know you’re up, they’ll come by with food… And no Stiles, you don’t have to eat it, though it’d do you good.” Stiles looks down on his hands, trying not to let Derek guilt him into eating. “Are you coming back?” Stiles asks, remembering the last time Derek walked out on him, and didn’t return for a long time… actually Stiles doesn’t remember him returning before he was sitting there with Scott. “Yes, I just need a coffee.” Derek says and shuts the door behind him. This is the Derek Stiles remembers, not the one that took him to his room and tucked in, not the one that demanded he stay home from school so that they could talk. And in some ways, this was the Derek he fell for, not that he didn’t love that caring, and effort making Derek that he’d gotten to know over the last few weeks… But he can’t really settle his mind on the fact that Derek was changing, what is changing Derek? Has Derek found someone, or is he just enjoying the new start? is it the job, or seeing Scott and Isaac settle down, and Peter no longer shutting himself out like the prissy moron he can be sometimes? 

Stiles always feared that Derek would find someone new, before he had figured exactly what he is feeling for him… but then again, it was bound to happen, because Derek doesn’t love him back, if he loves Derek that be, he isn’t sure. But that something is always overshadowed by fear, or danger… Stiles wonders how he’d feel about Derek being with someone, and he also wonders what kind of person that someone would be, would it be a werewolf… or could it be a human? 

Stiles leans back, waiting for the nurses to come running again, and Derek to return. But when he leans back, that sudden rush of shame just washes over him, reminding him what his body has been through… Remembering all the places they told him he had been touched, but he can’t remember. The worst part for Stiles, is not remembering what has happened, not knowing what kinds of things the man has done to him. And, it isn’t that Stiles has been proud to be a virgin until he was seventeen, but now he hates that he can’t call himself a virgin… That his first, would be his bodies second. He is still sore, there were bruises on his shoulder and hips, and scratch marks on the insides of his thighs, he has tried not to look at them and wondered exactly how they’d gotten there… but his mind has wondered off, painting graphic pictures of how his body has been used against him. 

Stiles is angry with Derek, for planning on sending him home, without having asked him first. Does he really not get a say? Then again, until he is eighteen, his father decides, and if Derek has convinced the Sheriff, Stiles has no choice. Not that he doesn’t want to go home to his dad, it might do him some good, but permanently? He really don’t think he can handle the thought of never living with Derek and the pack again, not being a part of the pack… He needs them, they are his family… His father is also family, but he just reminded him of all the years where he had been drunk, or at works… just never there. And when Stiles lived with his dad, the memory of his mother was always present… That’s why he used to stay so much with Scott, and when Scott had been away for almost two weeks on some kind of a holiday with his mother, Stiles has hung with Isaac at Derek’s place. He needs them, this wouldn’t be easier to deal with back home, where is entire past is waiting for him. No, he needs Derek.


	6. Home Is Where The Heart Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will Stiles react to being sent home?   
> What waits for him back in Beacon Hills?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the late update! I've been so busy with a whole lot of things! I have an exam on tuesday, and I've been away! But I'll try my best to get a couple of chapters out a week! 
> 
> All mistakes are still mine ;)
> 
> Thank you for reading, and enjoy!

Stiles is upstairs, packing his bags… For some reason Derek still hasn’t told him he is going home, apparently they are just going to visit his father, but he knows Derek is going to leave him there. Scott is sitting on his bed, watching Stiles, probably wanting to say something, but he stays quiet, like he has done for the last few days. Stiles has only spoken to his dad twice on the phone, the first time he ended up crying, and the second he ended up yelling. His mood is all over the place, and it really affected the others. Isaac never left Peter’s side, apart from when Peter got frustrated about something, then Isaac would skip upstairs and hide in their room, under Peters covers. Derek wouldn’t always bother to make them all four meals of the day, and when he did, it was mostly half done, or he’d just order pizza. The only thing that really kept them going, was Artic… He would go get groceries, he’d to dishes and clean up the house. And he’d keep Scott form going mental. When the others are at school, It’s just Peter and Stiles at home, because Derek is also at work… those are the times Stiles will curl up on the couch, under that stupid blanket that he has grown fond of, that now smelled like him, and not like something dead and rotten. 

Peter will sit next to him and read in his books, or talk on his phone, never paying attention to Stiles, at least not letting Stiles know he is keeping an eye on him. Derek would call Peter every half hour to make sure Stiles was there and resting. The doctors had said he was fine, but should rest for the next few weeks, but still try to be a bit social and active from time to other, so he doesn’t get closed in. But his fifteen minutes in the gym downstairs, hardly counted as active… and it only happened once, because Derek spotted him wincing once as one of the deeper scratches on his thighs got pulled on and started bleeding. After that he was banished to the couch, but is allowed to go upstairs to shower, if he wants. And if by social they had meant he was to sit at the dinner table, eating something he didn’t want, and his stomach really couldn’t master yet… then sure, he is being social. The only social thing he has done, was playing card with Isaac one evening when he had been looking really on edge because Derek and Peter had been stepping on each others nerves all day. He had spoken a few words, and in the end he let Isaac win, something Isaac was thrilled about, and his victory laughter had brought them some peace. 

Five days, he had been five days out of hospital when Derek told him they will be leaving that very same evening. “The doctors says that if you’re feeling up to it, the flight will be safe now.” Derek says, not looking at him. And Stiles just goes upstairs and packs down all his clothes into his abnormally large suitcase. He figures Derek will send the rest of his stuff, since he is not supposed to know about them sending him home. Does Scott know, and what about Isaac? He’s sure Peter knows. “I’ll carry it down for you.” Scott says as Stiles closes the suitcase and sits down on his bed… “Thanks.” He croaks out, not even his voice holds him anymore. He’d just gotten his test results back yesterday, and he was clean of everything… The needle had been used before him, but luckily he didn’t catch anything. They would check him again in a few moths and regularly for the next year or so, just in case there had been any traces of HIV on the needle.   
But Derek had told him he couldn’t smell anything on him, so he hadn’t been alarmed by this… He trusted Derek’s nose. Scott had also said he would have recognized if Stiles had been infected with something. He just said that Stiles smelled like a sterile hospital. 

“Ready to see your dad?” Peter is in his door, and there is hint of a smile on his lips. “Yeah, do you know if Derek has said anything about how long we will be staying?” Stiles asks, wondering if Peter will let the information about him staying behind, slip. But he doesn’t, he just shrugs and casually answers “I don’t know, he never really said… probably a while” Stiles nods and gets up. “Thank you for everything Peter, you’ve been great.” Peter frowns as Stiles walks over and hugs him, Stiles has in general been trying to avoid bodily contact… The only one he hasn’t really flinched away from, is Isaac. But that is because Isaac knows to keep his distance, and he seems to understand when Stiles doesn’t want to be touched. So now for him to go up and take initiative to touch someone, is a bit of a blow. “No problem kid, I’ll see you soon.” He hugs back tightly, his chin resting in Stiles hair for a moment before he pulls away, giving Stiles is personal space back. 

“Are you leaving already?” Isaac sounds so innocent when he asks, and Derek looks over at him, nodding, picking up Stiles suitcase and taking outside to his car. “I’ll see you around.” Stiles mumbles and reaches out his hands to hug Isaac as well, and Isaac literally is so overwhelmed by Stiles reaching out for him, that he stumbles forward and almost falls on Stiles, making Stiles chuckle a bit. “Yeah, I’ll call… or you call, I’ll answer!” Isaac takes a deep breath, and stiles knows he is taking in his smell, one last time… Before he lets go and turns to cling onto Peter, who gives Stiles a smile, a genuine smile, like a thank you for hugging him, I know it takes a lot of you. Stiles looks over to Scott, who’s standing next to Artic. Stiles has a feeling Artic will be replacing him, and he is in some ways relived that Scott will have someone, someone that can also play cards with Isaac, and not get on Peter’s bad side. Derek doesn’t quite trust him yet, but he will… “So… I’ll talk to you soon then, phone or… or online or something.” Scott rubs his neck, his biceps bulging out as he doesn’t know what to do. “Yeah, sure mate.” Stiles walks over and gives him a quick bro hug, like they used to before. Quick but harsh, manly. “Take care of my pal…” Stiles waves to Artic as he heads out the door, and he sends a glance over to Peter as if to say “And you take care of Isaac.” Peter just nods and pulls Isaac closer to his chest. 

Derek keeps looking over at Stiles, who is clutching that stupid blanket in his hands… he couldn’t stand parting with it, so he brought it along. Derek didn’t mention it, just looked at it once and gave Stiles a once over before returning to look at the road ahead of them. “Nervous about the flight?” Derek asks, Stiles shrugs… not knowing what to say. “Peter said you didn’t like it too much last time.” Of course Peter told Derek how skittish Stiles had been as the flight took off, holding on to Peter’s sleeve. “Humans aren’t meant to fly.” Stiles states, shrugging again, pulling the blanket over himself and turning away from Derek, resting so that his nose is almost touching the window. “No, I suppose not.” Derek agrees, putting on the radio and saving Stiles from having to talk… or think.   
Stiles simply follow Derek around on the airport, doing what he gets told. “Hold this for a while” “Put this on your bag.” “Drink this.” “Sit down, you don’t look well” “we need to go now, wake up.” It’s a relief when they board the plane. For some reason they are first class, and stiles can relax in his own cozy seat… not being too close to anyone apart from Derek sitting right next to him. 

“You really didn’t have to get first class tickets, Derek.” Stiles sighs as he covers himself with the blanket again. “Your dad insisted, and I thought it would be better to give you some space… it’s less cramped up here.” Stiles hums in agreement, this is much better.   
“You sleep, the plane goes directly, and your father will be picking you up at the airport.” Derek explains, correcting one of the corners of his blanket, so that Stiles is completely covered. “Just me?” Stiles asks, he had thought Derek would at least be staying around for awhile…. But then it hit him that Derek hadn’t even brought a backpack… not clothes, nothing. Would he really just leave Stiles at the airport and then take the next flight back home? Derek doesn’t answer, so Stiles takes that as a yes, and now he is really dreading the flight, and hopes it’ll be long. He’s just not ready to be without Derek yet, but he has no way of expressing that… because Derek doesn’t know. But what’s the point of Derek knowing, he would stay either way… he has a pack to take care of, a pack Stiles is apparently no longer a part of. 

“This is the captain speaking, we will be a few minutes late, as there is bad weather ahead… we do apologize, but there will be some turbulence.” Stiles wakes up to a robotic voice speaking and praises the voice as it says the flight will take longer. He isn’t curled up against the wall anymore, but halfway into Derek’s lap. With Derek’s hand resting over his side and holding him steady as turbulence shake them. If there is one thing Stiles hates more than planes taking off, then it’s turbulence. Derek speaks silently as he explains why turbulence occurs, like that’ll help… but the deep rumbling in his chest that Stiles can feel against his skin, does actually work. “When can I come back?” Stiles asks, when the plane is about to land, right about when they are told to put their seatbelts on and put their seat in an upright position. “What do you mean?” Derek asks, and he just sound like he’d rather not answer. “Cut the crap sourwolf… can I ever come back, or am I banned from the pack permanently?” Derek looks like someone has shot him twice in the guts and once in the heart. “You’re not banned, what are you talking about?” Stiles snorts, folding his hands like a stubborn three year old and turns his face away from Derek’s searching eyes. “I’m talking about you handing me over to my father… and leaving me in Beacon Hills. Is it permanent, or am I ever allowed to come back?” Derek swallows, furrowing his brows and pushing his finger against the bridge of his nose.   
“How long have you known?” Derek asks. “How long I’ve known that you’ve kicked me out of the pack… since the hospital, when you spoke to Scott about sending me home.” Derek turns to face Stiles, which doesn’t really work because Stiles is facing away from him. 

“Stiles, I’m not kicking you out of the pack… and you should have told me you knew, I just didn’t know how to tell you, because I knew you wouldn’t want to leave.” Derek’s hand comes to rest on his knee, and suddenly that talkative, caring Derek is back, and his voice is soft. “Then why are you sending me home, if you know I don’t want to… dad was willing to let me stay, for as long as I came by to visit.” Stiles spits, grabbing Derek’s wrist and pushing his hand away from him. “Because Stiles, London isn’t the right place for you to be at the moment, you need time… and in Beacon Hills, with your father to protect you, you’ll be safe, and maybe one day, in the future, you’ll be ready to come back.” Stiles is crying, at least there’s tears, but he wipes them bitterly away, sniffing once and looking over at Derek. “But you’re talking far future… like when Scott is married with Artic and Peter is in a retiring home for the old, with Isaac fussing around him, and you’re off somewhere in the woods chasing mice with some handsome rugged werewolf who completely understands your fucked up head, and your tormented inner self!?” Derek looks absolutely shocked, and the only thing he can force out is one stupid sentence that really pisses Stiles off… “Peter isn’t that old.” 

“Fuck off Derek.” Stiles groans and gets out of his seat, just a little before the seatbelt signal turns off… which results in him almost tripping over Derek as the plane comes to a halt. “Stiles, you’re not doing okay… I know you like to think so, but you need time to heal, and in a busy pack, that’s hard… with people expecting you to go to school and be up and going at all times.” Derek grabs Stiles upper arm and brings him to a stop. “Beacon Hills is really for the best, you’ll have time here… and your dad will look after you.” Stiles half sobs as he pulls away and strides out of the plane, shouting behind him “Have you ever considered that I might actually want to stay with you, because I want you to take care of me?” Stiles doesn’t turn to look back, and he knows Derek isn’t following him…. And when he does finally turn, just to look, Derek is walking down a different hall, leading him to a plane that will take him back to everything Stiles is going to miss. 

“Stiles!” John calls out for his son, waving. “Wasn’t Derek supposed to follow you all the way?” He asks as Stiles walks up, his father already has his bag. “Derek can go fuck himself.” John is about to scold Stiles for swearing, but Stiles just walks passed him and towards the exit. “Can’t your old man have a hug?” John asks, looking at his son, Derek has warned him that Stiles have been reluctant to let people get too close to him, but John had figured that probably didn’t count for him, for as long as he was gentle, and let Stiles approach him. “I’d rather not dad, I’m tired, can we go?” Stiles groans when he sees the police car, looking at it like it’s poisonous. He misses his jeep, but obviously John didn’t drive it there, because he knew better than to drive Stiles’ beloved jeep.   
“Well, lets get going then.” John sighs, pulling his keys up and unlocking the car… Stiles pulls the door open and crawls in and shuts it behind him, leaving his dad to pack his bag into the car. “So… I know you don’t want to talk about this, son…” Stiles sighs frustrated and clutches the blanket once, keeping it in his lap. “You know, we might not be rich, but you can buy a proper blanket, if you’d like… that thing looks like it died a few years back.” His father tries to joke, but it only earns him a glare and Stiles turning his back to him and holding the blanket to his chest. It smells like home, it smells like Derek. 

“Why don’t you catch some sleep, there will be a therapist here in a few hours…” Stiles turns to look at his father as he stands there, in the hall of their house. “What are you talking about?” Stiles asks, looking at his father with betrayal. “Derek has sorted some things out and found really good therapist for you.” John should have expected that Stiles doesn’t know about it, it seems there is a lot of things Derek hasn’t told Stiles.   
“No way… fuck that.” Stiles says, stomping up the stairs to his room and shutting the door so harshly that it gives a weak cracking sound. He flops down on his bed and buries his face into that stupid blanket, that smells like stupid Derek… and his stupid home in stupid, stupid London. He’s jaw tightens as he tries not to cry, veins are straining on his forehead and his eyes turn bloodshot as they fill with tears. He can’t help but let out a frustrated shout as he punches his fist into the mattress and sobs helplessly for a few seconds, until a message rings from his phone. 

“Are you home yet? Isaac” 

Stiles hasn’t been aware that he doesn’t have Isaac number until now, he saves it quickly before he types back a short message, just to make it clear he is fine, but not in the mood to call him or anything.   
“Just got home, there was turbulence on the flight, so I’ll be catching up on some sleep… Let the others know I’m at home.” 

Stiles sighs, putting his phone down, it takes only a few seconds before the next message follows. 

“Sorry, I wanted to tell you… Peter wouldn’t let me. I miss you.” 

Stiles smiles sadly, of course that big nerve wrack of a werewolf misses him, he’s probably the only one too… Because Scott probably thinks it’s for the best that he is in Beacon Hill, and he has Artic anyways… Peter has Isaac and Derek is used to being alone. And when he thinks about it, Derek deserves to be alone… that stupid monster of a wolf. 

“I already knew… heard Derek talk about it whilst I was in hospital, don’t worry. I miss you too, just stay with Peter, and stay in school. AND BE SAFE… you know, when you do the nasty with Peter” 

Stiles has to add a joke, for Isaac’s sake, and he can almost see him blushing and clearing his throat. He does actually laugh when a message from Peter follows.

“I don’t know what you said, but I think you broke Isaac, he is permanently red.” 

Stiles laughs freely for a second before he answers, and puts away his phone. 

“I always felt like red was his color, you’re welcome.” 

It’s harder after that, because Stiles longs after being there with Isaac and watching him blush, and having Peter raise an eyebrow at him, but secretly loving the flushing teenager in his arms. Stiles figures the only way to stop feeling, is to fall asleep… and he is lucky he has his painkillers still, for the bruising on his hip. He thinks that’s the only reason he sleeps well is because no one guards his painkillers, so he usually downs two, just before he goes to bed… and within ten minutes he is out. Really out. 

“Wake up, Stiles” It’s his dad, shaking his shoulders, almost violently. “Stiles!” Stiles shoots up, out of his fathers arms and onto the floor, crawling backwards away from the rapist… no wait, his dad. “Mr. Stilinski… there is no need to worry, I’m only here to help you, but you didn’t seem to want to wake up.” The voice is sickeningly sweet, and actually not judging at all though, just creepy. She is about as tall as Stiles, and rounded, not large, or pudgy or anything… just, rounded. “My name is Dianna Hendricks.” She smiles, looking over at Stiles on the floor, not approaching him, still not judging him. “If you’d give us some time, Sheriff, I think Stiles would like it if he had some time to calm down.” John is still rather shocked by the way Stiles reacted… “What was that?” he asks, as if Stiles is not there. “He’s body is tired, making him sleep really heavily… And you shaking him probably brought back some unpleasant memories.” She smiles at John, sitting down on Stiles’ bed. “But that’s what I’m here for… So, if you’d please?” She hints to the door… The Sheriff sends one last look to his son, still sitting on the floor, with that filthy rag over his body. 

 

“So… you want to tell me why you were sleeping that heavily?” she asks, sitting up at his headboard, folding open her block. “Don’t worry, I’ll only be writing down my own thoughts, and maybe quoting you from time to other, but this block is always locked away when I’m not here with you, and no one, not even your father will have access to it, and them we’re done… it will stay locked away and in the end destroyed.” She smiles writing down the date and a shortening that’ll let her know its Stiles’. She writes with curly letters “SS By DH” Stiles Stilinski, called in by Derek Hale… 

Stiles still hasn’t gotten up from the floor, and he still hasn’t said anything, but Dianna sits on his bed, scribbling down into her papers… she isn’t actually writing anything, she just does it to give Stiles some time to collect himself. “Either you can tell me, or I can figure it out” She says, when Stiles still doesn’t speak, just sits there like a shaken baby deer… she sighs and puts down her block. “Alright, my theory… those painkillers by your bed are for more than easing your pain.” She picks them up and reads the labels, noting something down in her paper again before looking up and smiling sadly. “You know I can’t let you have these anymore, if you still need them for your pain, your father will give you the right dose in the morning before he goes to work, and bring the bottle with him.” She puts the bottle in her bag that’s on the floor, only then does Stiles react, by reaching his hands out and gripping for the bottle... even though it’s far away.  
“No please, it does hurt” She look up at him, meeting his eyes. “Stiles, I know it hurts… But you and I both know, you’re not talking about your injury” she keeps her gaze on him, before she friendly adds. “At least not only because of the injury…” 

She sits still for a few minutes, but Stiles is still just sitting there, looking at the painkillers in her purse. “Please, the nightmares.” He pleads, crawling over to her purse… he is so close to reaching for them as her hands comes down to his shoulders. “’I’m not allowed to touch you without your permission, and even then it’s to be at a minimum… But you are also not allowed to look into my purse.” She speaks with authority, but still manages to sound very friendly. “But you took my pills, they are mine!” he reaches again, like a helpless child, and it is really pathetic… he is on his knees, on the floor, with the ragged blanket over his shoulder, reaching for his painkillers.   
“You can still have them, for the use that they’re for… just not by yourself. They are not sleeping pills, Stiles.” She ends up having to let go of Stiles and snatches her bag up from the floor, setting it besides her on the bed. 

“Stiles… Listen, if you talk to me, and we figure you can’t sleep and actually need something to sleep on, we will settle that… obviously your father will be in control of them, but you don’t have to worry.” She sighs when Stiles just looks up at her helplessly. “But you need to tell me more about these nightmares, and you need to tell me if they hinder you from sleeping at all, or just from sleeping well.” Stiles doesn’t know what to say, he can’t explain the dreams, it would make him sound crazy and it wouldn’t make sense, because Dianna doesn’t know about werewolves… and she can’t either.  
“And just to clarify it, Derek choose me, because I know.” She smiles, her eyes glinting in yellow. “I’m a werewolf too, so… no need to worry about saying something you shouldn’t…” She puts her block down again when she sees Stiles shoulders sink down, just a little bit. “Derek and I know each other, I’m his third cousin… I have nothing to do with Peter though, I’m the other side of the family.” She smiles. 

 

“I…” he tries, he really does… he doesn’t want to talk to her, and he wont, he just has to make sure that he’ll get the painkillers. “You can do it Stiles, it’s easy… it’s just words.” She puts the block away, and he tries again, it’s less frightening when she doesn’t scribble down what he says. “I… I dream that they die.” He frowns at his own words. “I mean they get killed.” He looks down on his fingers. “Like Erica and Boyd did… it was my fault.” He whispers. Gripping the blanket and folding it around himself tightly. “I can see them dying, over and over… and it’s not that nice kind of dying. They are decapitated and… And Derek sees them, but before he can attack them, someone comes up behind him and sticks their fist through his body, ripping his heart out on the way.” He shudders at the though, he can see Derek’s beating heart in a hand, he never really saw who tore his heart out, apart form that it was an alpha, he saw the eyes, glooming red.   
“I’ve talked to Derek, he mentioned you feeling guilty for Boyd and Erica’s death, but I just don’t see how you figure you’re to only guilty of them dying?” She asks, not asking anything about the dream, but she is shocked, for someone to have such graphic nightmares, and she can sense he is telling the truth about the night terrors that he has been escaping with painkillers. 

“I could have figured out a way to save them, how to get in there earlier… that they were being kept there, I should have known, that’s the only thing I can to, I can figure things out!” Stiles’ body is rocking slowly back and forth, his mind going into a darker place… somewhere he just doesn’t want to be. “Stiles there was nothing you could do, you can’t know everything.” She sighs, writing something down. “The thing is, the pills might not be able to stop the nightmares, they’ll only help you go to sleep, if you feel like you can’t.” She looks down on his painkillers. “These, however, knock you out, probably so far that you can’t even dream.” Stiles feels like hyperventilating, so he’ll get pills to force him sleep, but that won’t take the nightmares away. That’s just fucking great! He wants to scream again, but he can’t, not when someone’s looking. 

“You don’t understand, I can’t have that nightmare again.” He sounds crazy, he knows he does. “If it turns out to be too much, we’ll give you something stronger to sleep on, and maybe some anxiety relievers or anti depressives, but that is something you and I have to work out… that’ll only happen if you talk.” Stiles lies down on the floor, closing his eyes, he’s said enough. Stiles heart aches as he lies down on the floor, closing not only his eyes, but himself. Dianna can see he’s had enough, so she gets up and walks over to him. “I’ll make sure your father picks up some sleeping pills for you, and gives you your pill tomorrow morning.” She sits down on her knees in front of him. “I need to know you’ll be okay on your own?” he nods weakly, a tear slipping down his cheek as he pulls the blanket further up. “Does this blanket belong to someone else, or is it yours?” she asks, he sniffs “Derek…” his voice is sore as he speaks the name, it hurts him… Only speaking his name hurts. Dianna frowns, she would have expected it to maybe belong to his mother, the blanket seems too old to be new. 

Dianna drops by the station, where Sheriff Stilinski dropped by to do some paperwork. “Are you done already?” Dianna smiles, sitting down at the other side of the desk. “No, well yes…Stiles can’t take full sessions yet, it’ll be too stressful for him. You need to drop by a store to get him some sleeping pills that I’ve prescribed… and these are his painkillers, he is only supposed to have one every morning.” She smiles sadly when John looks bewildered. “He isn’t in a good place to be in control over such strong pills, he might abuse them to escape his situation.” John nods, swallowing thickly.   
Stiles is home alone, waiting for his father to return with his sleeping pills… well he doesn’t know if he is happy about it, or dreading it. Either way, he’s waiting, Sitting on the couch, with his blanket wrapped around him. Stupid blanket. Stiles feels worse, it’s not even been a day, and he feels worse. Things might have been edged back in London, but at least he felt safe there, it was his home, he felt at home there. Four moths, he had gone from slightly troubled by nightmares, to really troubled by nightmares, raped, used, broken… pathetic. How could his life crash so quickly, how could it get so bad? 

He decides to text Derek. 

“Landed yet?” 

He knows Derek’s plane has landed ages ago, he knows Derek is back home, to where he belongs… without Stiles. He doesn’t know why he text Derek, but he supposes he misses him. Needs him. Stiles just wants to go home, sitting in Beacon Hills… it just feels wrong. Derek never answers though, even when Stiles stares down at his phone for hours. Not even when his father comes home, not looking at him, or talking to him, just passing him and heading into his office. He doesn’t say anything before he returns. “I’ve picked up your pills… So you can sleep, just tell me when you want to go to bed, but you have to go before midnight, if you want to get up at a normal time.” Stiles knows his father is trying, but he really just wants to go back to London, he wants Derek to send him to bed at nine thirty and tell him to get some sleep, and be up in time for breakfast. But Derek isn’t around… just his dad, his lovely dad that’s really trying... and doesn’t deserve to have Stiles wandering around his house like a dead man.


	7. A New Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How is Stiles doing?  
> And what is going on with Arctic, will Derek help?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Made this chapter a bit more about Artic, so that you can get to know him a little more!  
> oh, and he and scott get's quite 'close' in this chapter ;)

Things has been strange since Stiles left a week ago, and Artic has pretty much lived with Derek’s pack. Derek is hardly around, and Peter has suddenly turned into the one that got them to school, and make them dinner when Derek doesn’t, he is strangely a pretty decent cook. Scott and Artic has grown inseparable over the short week and it seems that Isaac has grown fond of him too. “Artic wasn’t at school today” Scott sighs as he and Isaac climbs into Derek’s car, expecting to find Peter… But it’s actually Derek. “Mh.” Derek grumbles, heading out on the road quickly. “Is Peter at home?” Isaac asks, looking hopefully at Derek, without looking into his eyes, because that’s something they’d quickly realized wasn’t a good idea. “Yes” Derek says, speeding well over the limit. 

“Derek, I’m worried about Artic, he had some bruises yesterday that he wouldn’t explain them.” Scott says, he says it very careful, because even minor things sets him off nowadays. “So he’s cheating.” Derek kind of asks, but mainly states. “No, I asked him, he didn’t lie.” Derek sighs. “If he doesn’t get in contact till tonight, then I’ll consider worrying.” Derek parks the car and gets out, opening the door for Isaac who has been extra childlike lately. Derek has gotten a message from John saying that Stiles has thrown his phone and smashed it, and that he wouldn’t be giving him a new one until he felt like Stiles wouldn’t just smash it again. And Stiles wouldn’t pick up if they called the house number. Not even that one time Derek called, late at night. Stiles answered the call and left the phone in the hall. So they had really no contact, apart from the contact Derek had with Dianna… And from what she was saying, he wasn’t doing too well. And apparently he was holding on to that blanket he had brought from London. The one that actually did belong to Derek, but Derek had let him keep, not mentioning it. Derek had had it since the fire, it used to belong to his mother, she would tuck him into it, the few times he actually got cold. 

“Derek, he won’t answer the phone.” Derek groans frustratingly, he’s been working out for the last few hours… trying to get his mind off of Stiles, just for a short period of time. But Derek just started thinking back to when he walked downstairs to find Stiles trying to do pull ups… and then breaking down, that was the first time Derek had seen him really freak out. “Has he told you where he lives?” Derek speaks as he finishes his pull ups. “No, like… just about, but not quite.” Derek jumps down, pulling a jacket on. “Let’s go then… But just so you know, I won’t interfere with their pack if that’s what you think.” Derek walks out ahead of him, leading the way down the streets. “Are you sure he’s not just gone away or let his phone die or something?” Derek stops as he can smell the presence of an other pack. “He would have found a way to contact me, I’m sure of it… we were supposed to go out tonight, school thing” Scott stops too, the smell isn’t strong enough for him to properly sense, but it’s there. 

“Scott?” Artic shows up behind them, and as Scott turns, he finds Artic standing there, bruised and filled with wounds. Cuts covering his naked chest and his hair all knotted and dirty. “What is this!?” Scott can feel that the man that turns up next to Artic, is an alpha. “I’d like to ask the same, I saw that kid there last night, and then he was fine… now he looks like rag doll that a child has played too roughly with and by child, I mean an alpha with a sickening need of taking control over his betas, to the point where he’d actually hurt them.” Derek steps forward, he is obviously the stronger alpha of the two…   
“Well, he is my beta, I will do as I please.” Derek snorts, stepping in front of Artic and pushing him back towards Scott. “Well, if my beta wants your beta… what’s going stop me from taking him?” The other alpha does seem slightly hesitant to say anything. He looks like a dog with rabies, Scott thinks. “My pack just left me, leaving only one little shit behind, and it had to the one I don’t like?” He rolls his eyes and turns his back to Derek, something a sane alpha wouldn’t do. “You take him, lets see you try to make him behave, queer as you get them, that one… that’s why he wants your beta.” Artic is shivering from the words his alpha speaks about him, and he really hopes Derek will find pity in him and take him in. But why would he, he is practically useless… Maybe even less of use then Stiles, he is nothing but a stick, and as far as a clever mind goes, he just doesn’t have it in him. 

Derek doesn’t even move until the other alpha is out of sight and senses, only then does he turn and walk passed Scott, over to Artic, takes his upper shoulder into his grip and pulls him along. “I am only giving you one chance, there is no help to get from me… If you don’t fit in, you’re out. That means getting along with Peter, not scaring Isaac… not getting in my way, and not hurting him.” Derek points to Scott before he lets go of Artic and walks ahead of them. “You’ve been doing that all along, so don’t worry… you’re safe now.” Scott takes his jacket off and hangs it over Artic’s shoulder as they walk through the streets, heading home… Home. 

Isaac is thrilled to see Artic with them, and hardly notices the wounds and bruises, only Artic walking behind Derek with a bowed head, and holding Scott’s hand. “So…” He doesn’t get any further before Derek slams the door to the basement, going back to working out again. “Artic’s staying” Peter nods, and there is a hint of a smile, even if it just lasts for a second. “Forever, like not just the night… but forever?” Isaac’s asks, sounding so hopeful. 

“Let’s get you patched up.” Peter says, turning for their first aid kit… it was really mainly for Stiles, but Artic has probably had his needs neglected for a long time, making it less likely for him to heal any quicker than a human would… and probably as likely to get an infection of some kind. “Did the others leave?” Scott asks as Peter cleans the largest cut that goes down Artic’s back. “Yeah, they couldn’t stand him any longer… but I was too slow to get away with them, and once they were free, I doubt they’d risk coming back for me.” Artic looks so small all of a sudden… Scott never noticed how little he resembled a werewolf. Because he is all skin and bones, as a human that would just be referred to as thin. Werewolves are seldom thin… they can be lean, but not really thin. Had Artic been human, he would have been just bones, buried under six feet of dirt. 

“Do you think your brother will come after you?” Peter asks, looking up at Artic, from the wound he is covering in a neatly done bandage. “No, I think he’s scared of Derek… he avoids anything he fears.” Scott frowns. “Then why didn’t you just tell us? Derek would have helped, I’m sure.” Artic chuckles bitterly. “It wasn’t your problem to deal with, and I saw Stiles struggling and Derek had his hands full with all of you, I’m just yet another troubled child… I wasn’t even bitten by Derek. It’s rude to ask an alpha to be in his pack, you can give hints and you can work yourself around his betas and have them ask.” Peter smiles, like he’s heard a good story. “Did you?” Scott asks. “What?” Scott pushes his knee gently. “Did you work your way around his betas?” Scott blinks, like puppy.   
“Yeah, I really tried convincing Peter that I’m fantastic.” Peter winks at Scott and gets up, leaving them alone. Wait what, Peter winked? 

Scott is helping Artic into the bathroom and finds him a towel, so he can take a bath… He also offers him some of Isaac’s clothes, that Isaac is more then willing to give up, because Scott is much bigger over the shoulders, but also shorter. “So, I think I’ll be fine now.” Artic smiles and Scott blushes, sticking around as Artic start undressing. “So, are you kicking me out?” Artic blushes and pulls his boxers down, looking back up at Scott. “No, and I’d like to invite you to stay, though.” Scott smiles, walking up to a very naked Artic. “yeah, I accept the invite.”

They lying in the heated water, side by side in the small tub… Scott cuddling up under Artic’s jaw. “I think I love you.” Artic whispers, right down into Scott’s ear, making Scott jump and look up at him with big, brown eyes. “I think I love you too…” They’re making out, for ages, juts enjoying each other. Artic’s body twists up with Scott’s and they skirmish for dominance, for no reason, because Scott is the bigger one, but also the softer one, so they fall at an even… they’re equal, and it’s a lovely feeling for them both. Their bodies react to the heat and they go with it, rocking their bodies together, Scott on top of Artic. It doesn’t take long until Artic is moaning and panting into Scott ear, spreading his legs further and hooking them to Scott’s ribcage, giving him access to his most vulnerable place. “Artic” Scott almost hisses his name, he is really trying to take is slow, trying to ease Artic into it. But he is so eager, so ready. This feels noting like being with Allison, being with Allison felt wrong. Pushing into Artic feels so right, the resistance and the small pained sounds from Artic egging him to go quicker, but his mind and his love for Artic, that bloomed far too quickly, willing him to go slower. 

“Want me to stop?” Scott whispers as Artic still keeps on whimpering from time to other, flinching every time Scott pushes deeper. “No, just… kiss me.” Their lips connect and Artic is lost to the sensation of Scott’s hand roaming over his groin, so close but still so far away from pleasuring him. “Please Scott, touch me!” Artic almost sobs when Scott finally does, gripping him firmly and slowly… the contrast in Scott’s short, rough thrusts and his slow, gentle hand is making Artic shiver with delight. “Oh!” Artic is surprised when hos body tightens around Scott and he can feel his insides convulse slowly, clenching, releasing… Heat washes over him every time his muscles let go. The most wonderful thing is however when Scott’s thrusts goes frantic and he groans loudly into Artic’s ear. Artic can feel Scott releasing into him, and it’s warm, nice… it’s home. His new home. 

They are stumbling across the hall when they accidentally almost run into Peter, who raises and eyebrow at them, and whilst Scott can keep his game face on, Artic goes crimson within seconds and starts muttering excuses and something about the weather. “Jesus, you two reek…” he comments as he covers his nose and walks into his room, where Isaac is sitting on their bed, practically giggling as he sees how red Artic is. “Don’t mind them…” Scott rolls his eyes as Peter shuts the door with an evil grin on his lips. “Lets go to bed, now, before we get cold.” Derek passes them too, yet again startling them, they are so high on ecstasy that their senses are blurred out, they didn’t even notice him walking up the stairs. “Good idea, it’s cold outside… get dressed, or get under your covers.” It’s the longest sentence Derek has managed to mutter without sounding either sad or bitter. And it makes Artic warm, embarrassed but warm.

 

Stiles groans as he is woken up by Dianna knocking on his door, waking him from his blissful sleep. “Heard you had something to drink last night?” She asks, sitting down at the edge of his bed, looking at him, with those judging eyes he has gotten to know too well lately. “I fancied a drink.” Stiles mutters. Looking around himself, noticing one thing missing… His blanket, he feels like such a child when he talks about it. He and Dianna have already been through it a couple of times. He just says it makes him feel like home, and Dianna tells him he is home, and Stiles insists he belongs in London with Derek. “Where is it, did you take it!? You took it!” Stiles cries, getting up from bed. “Took what?” She asks, then slowly noticing that Stiles is not clutching the blanket. “No, I think I saw it downstairs.” Stiles runs out of the room, heading towards the living room, seeing his blanket lying neatly folded, too neatly. He stops breathing, he stops thinking. His only link to home, his only link to Derek is washed away. “There it is, see?” Dianna almost coos, until she sees Stiles’ face. “What?” She sits down on the couch, taking up her familiar block. 

“Stiles, come on!” Dianna is by his side, holding his head in her hands, clapping him lightly on his cheeks, trying to get in contact with him. Stiles hasn’t really made any improvements, but it has only been a bit over a week, she wasn’t expecting it to be a quick fix… But she also hadn’t expected it to continue to go in the wrong direction. And now this, him flipping out because his father had washed his blanket… maybe she should have explained why he found it comforting, it wasn’t because of the blanket in itself, it was the smell… and now it smells like lemons and daisies. Stiles sobs the second he opens his eyes, he looks utterly broken, and it’s the first time since the first day she met him, that she can see a child inside of him. “Stiles, calm down now.” She tries, reaching out for him. “NO, get away!” he screams, sitting up and crawling away from her, dragging the now useless blanket with him, out of habit... “You said things would get better, you liar!” he cries, leaning forward till his head bumps against the floor. He cries, knocking his fists to the floor. 

Dianna has really tried to see things from Stiles perspective, but there is something she just can’t really grasp… And that’s is Stiles constant longing for Derek, she doesn’t see it as longing though, more like an unhealthy obsession or something of sort. Maybe obsession is taking it a bit far, but he is definitely acting needy, towards something he can’t have. She sits back and tries to talk Stiles through it, as he still doesn’t want to be touched, by anyone… not even his father. “I just need to make a call.” She leaves the room once Stiles is sitting on the couch, sobbing gently into the newly washed blanket. 

“Derek?” Derek grumbles as he picks up the phone, probably still sleeping. “There has been an incident that lead to Stiles’ blanket, or yours that be, getting washed with some other clothes.” She says, and when Derek doesn’t seem to understand, she explains. “It isn’t the blanket in itself that’s comforting for Stiles, it’s the smell… now it smells like lemons.” She says, pressing her fingers to the bridge of her nose. “I wouldn’t normally ask for something like this, but he is really broken down about it.” She sighs, looking at her watch. “Could you mail me something of yours, something you’ve worn resent, or had for a long time… clothing, fabric, something that a human can sense holds your scent?” Derek is silent for a long time. “Sure, I’ll mail it in a few hours… how is he?” Derek asks, sounding hopeful, and she hates to have to crush his hope…But Stiles is getting worse, and she really doesn’t know what else to do. He complains of nightmares, even on sleeping pills…. He keeps talking about things that are irrelevant, to avoid talking about the things he needs to say, needs to realize he is keeping in his mind. She wants to give him more time, but it’s also a question of not waiting for too long… There is always a point of no return, and she jut can’t make out where that limit is for Stiles.   
She worries that it’s closer than she might realize, but just how close can it really be.   
“Not good, I’m trying to give him time… But the more leach I give him, the more he seems to pull… “ She sighs, sitting down on a kitchen chair, moving her hair out of her face. “He still talks about you, mainly, or the pack… or wolves, or theories of something.” She doesn’t know If she should mention it, but Stiles father told her that when he woke form nightmares, he would scream his name. “Derek, Stiles keeps calling for you, in his nightmares.” Derek doesn’t respond, he doesn’t know what to say. He knew it would take time, but for Stiles to gradually get worse, with the help of a professional… Is Stiles really that fragile, there should at least be some kind of a break, it should slow down… but Stiles only seems to crash harder. 

“Are you considering submitting him to some kind of a facility?” Dianna sighs, she just doesn’t know what kind of difference that would make, it would make everything sterile around him, everything unknown… and Derek had insisted he needed his home, he needed his dad. And she doesn’t disagree, it is important to be somewhere safe, somewhere he could calm down… Somewhere where things would catch his senses, and make him keep living and not just stay alive. “There is a facility in town, and…. Well, if he doesn’t get any better, they’ll be able to keep him under constant watch and therapy. But like we agreed, that’s an emergency plan… “ she pause, looking down at her hand resting in her lap. She feels helpless, she has helped so many people, with so many things. Why won’t Stiles react to anything? “I just don’t know how long I can wait until I call it a quit… how long can he keep going like this, before he becomes a danger to himself?” She talks to Derek for a few minutes more, until they decide to hang up, and Derek promises to find something to send to her, so that she can give it to Stiles. 

“Stiles, have you calmed down now?” she asks as she enters the living room again. “Fuck off.” He mutters from the couch, he’s watching TV, something he hasn’t done yet, he’ll just stare of into the room, but now he’s actually watching some program… about wolves. “I’ll take that as a yes then…” she sits down, watching it with him. A few of their sessions, that they have twice a day, they just spend doing something… They’ve read books, or in Stiles case, comics. And they’ve eaten lunch, in Stiles case, mostly staring at it. And they have cleaned Stiles room, well she had cleaned it whilst he sulked on his bed… mumbling about how werewolves supposedly can smell if there is bad weather around and how practical it would be if he could do that. 

“You know Stiles, I don’t want to pressure you, but if there is no improvement in our work… We have to find another way to help you.” Dianna says, looking over at Stiles, who does everything to not pay attention to her. “The thing is, you don’t even have to improve, just at least try to help me help you.” Stiles snorts, looking at her. “Get me a ticked back to London, and find a time machine so I can stop that bastard from ever touching me... Oh and if you could be so kind to make Derek love me, that’d be fucking awesome.” Dianna doesn’t really know how to respond, she is used to Stiles being ironic at the worst of times, but this time there is such bitterness as he speaks of the man that assaulted him, but also towards Derek. “You know you can’t turn back time, we can’t change what happened to you, no one can… But that doesn’t mean we don’t want to, we all do.” She pauses. “And you can only go back to London when you’ve recovered… as far as Derek goes, you can’t make someone love you, they either do, or they don’t.” Stiles’ face has contracted into a tight mask, that doesn’t allow Stiles to show any emotion at all, but the pain is very evident in his eyes, and the tears building, threaten to fall, but Stiles wills them not to. 

“Are you ready to talk about it?” Dianna asks, hoping that Stiles won’t reject her help again. “No, but if it’ll buy me a few more days at home… then sure.” Stiles had heard her and Derek talking about sending him off to somewhere someone else could bother with him. He should have guessed that Derek would get tired of having to care for him, but that he would get tired of having someone else help him, that is low of him. Stiles is too far gone to see that they are only doing what they think is best for him… But so far in his life, Stiles has always been in charge of what is best for him. Dianna leans forward and turns the TV off, throwing the remote onto the table again. “Tell me what you remember, because I know you don’t remember it all… Tell me the parts that you do remember.” Stiles doesn’t answer, he just looks ahead into the thin air, as if he is living it all over again. “I remember throwing away Isaac’s shoes, because they were too big. I remember walking into a lady, who promised me a night of fun… And I remember a man telling me I didn’t have to pay, we could split… and that he’d show me some real fun.” Stiles can’t help the tears that slip from his eyes at that point, the few memories that he has are so livid it scares him. He can still smell him, he can still feel the cold needle to his skin, and he can still in high definition see the blood that’s already smeared on the needle. He can remember the fear he felt when the bloody needle pricked his skin. 

“But that’s the parts that don’t matter.. I want to remember what he did, because I don’t want to just know what he did, and trust what the doctors has said… I want to remember what that scum did to me, I feel so used, and I feel like I’ve been fooled by my own body because it won’t let me remember, and it’s making me sick.” Stiles’ voice is so low that Dianna has to concentrate on what he’s saying, but at least he’s saying something. “Do you think it’d make you feel better, if you remembered what he did to you?” Dianna asks, looking at Stiles from where she is sitting, right next to him. “Yeah, I think it would… I want to know what my body went through, I want to remember how it felt, even the pain… I feel like my body isn’t my own anymore, he took something from me, but it’s hard to accept it, because I don’t remember it happening… it’s just something someone has said happened to me, it doesn’t feel real.” Stiles wipes at his face with the blanket, had he done that before, Dianna might have stopped him, because that thing had been filthy. 

“That’s a nice way to explain it, and there is nothing wrong with feeling like you have been stolen from… he stole your virginity, Stiles, and you don’t remember it, that does make it hard to accept, because like you said, it’s just words that has been spoken by someone else.” She smiles sadly, as she quotes down a few of the things he said. “I think Derek blames me for what happened to me… he hates me for it, he won’t even look at me anymore!” Stiles covers his mouth with one of his shaking hands, doubling over himself as he tries to breathe. “Stiles, you need to understand that Derek sent you here for your own best, not because he doesn’t want you around, and he definitely does not blame you for anything, I know for a fact that he blames himself for not finding you sooner.” Stiles looks up at her, still trying to regain his breath. “So he is not mad?” he asks, sounding like a four year old that has done something he shouldn’t, and is scared his father will be upset with him. “No, he is really sorry…” Dianna sighs, leaning back and looking at Stiles as his entire body shakes and trembles under the heavy emotions that rest on him like plague. 

“Stiles, I want you to focus for a second, and tell me what it feels like inside of you… is it cold, or is it empty… do you feel small?” Stiles thinks about it for a second, how does he really feel? “I feel abandoned… and ashamed, everything inside of me just aches, there is no clear emotion, just pain. Like acid running though my blood, melting my muscles, my lounges just feel like they are breathing in toxic… Dianna, I feel like I’m dying, and all I can think about is Derek not wanting me around” Stiles’ eyes goes distant again, like he just can’t keep focusing on anything, like it’s all just too unreal for him to handle. Dianna doesn’t want to tell Stiles, but that is in general how a werewolf would feel, if he got kicked out of his pack… Stiles might not be a werewolf, but he is pack, he needs his alpha. But Derek has said there is no chance in hell he’ll even consider ever taking Stiles in again, until he is recovered… And even then, Derek is unsure that it’s a good idea, fearing that he will just spiral right back down. 

“Stiles that’s good, you’ve said a lot today… I know it’s hard, but you just have to keep breathing, keep living… it will get easier.” Dianna unfolds the blanket that she takes from his hands and rests it over his shoulders before she gets up and gives him the remote back. “I’ll be back this afternoon, you get some rest.” She looks at him, as if checking for any signs of fear, or anger… anything, but there is just empty space, and confusion, bitterness. Stiles nods, turning the TV back on. 

“How is he?” She meets john on her way out, he’s standing on the stairs when she heads out. “He’s been better, but we actually properly talked today, and that’s good, that’s him taking a step in the right direction.” She smiles, looking in through the window, Stiles is looking at the TV, but his eyes are big and childlike. “I just had some time off, so I thought I might go home and spend it with Stiles, rather then sit at the office… But if you think he needs time on his own to rest?” John has been very understandable when Dianna told him Stiles was like an open wound, it needs air and time to heal, not to be patched over and touched… that would make the wound more likely to get infected, the wound needs to be clean and left on it’s own to heal. John had nodded, and looked down on the floor, not wanting to face anyone. “It’s just hard you know, watching your son crumble under your watch, and not being able to do anything about it… when I think about what that bastard did to him, I just want to tuck him safely into his bed and read comics for him… But most off all I want to see that man dead, a man who can abuse a child like that… MY child.” He had wiped tears away, the same way Stiles would hastily, roughly, pretending they’re not there. 

“No, no… It’s good you’re there. Just, maybe not start a lengthy conversation.” She smiles walking down the steps. “Try to get him to eat though… at least have something to drink, not alcohol though. It’s none of my business that there is alcohol in your home, but keep it from Stiles.” John blushes slightly and nods. “I’ve already thrown it away, the little he didn’t down last night.” He walks inside and hangs his jacket behind the door. “Hi son, fancy a pizza?” he asks as he walks into the living room, his son looking up at him, tears in his eyes and his breath leaving in small puffs. “Dad!” it’s like he’s seven again.


	8. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Derek help Stiles?   
> And what happens when Stiles goes outside for the first time since he returned to Beacon Hills?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry about not uploading before now! I've been busy with my exams!!!  
> But hopefully this was my las exam :D So I'll try to upload regularly!   
> I might be without my mac for a few days, like next week or something, but I'll let you know! 
> 
> THANKS FOR READING, it means the world to me!

Derek gets up and stands there helplessly, what could Stiles want. One of his jumpers? A hoodie? He just doesn’t like the fact that Stiles needs something that smells like him, he has gotten the kid too involved in the pack, and it feels more and more like a mistake that he had sent him home… if the kid can’t even handle not being able to smell him. He looks around, is there something that would comfort Stiles, something typical Derek… His leather jacket? Would it be enough, it wasn’t a blanket, but Stiles could wear it. Derek groans at the thought of Stiles wearing his jacket, but there is something satisfying about it as well. Worrying, but satisfying. 

Derek sigs as he packs his jacket up into a small box and writes down Stiles address on it, even though he was supposed to send it to Dianna… He wants Stiles to know he still cares, still wants to look after him. He writes a small note, hiding it in one of the pockets of the jacket. “I hope it helps, I want it back when you return.” It’s a stupid and sappy thing to write, especially for Derek, what kind of thing is that to write… he is supposed to encourage Stiles to not come back, to get well and live a proper life, he deserves more then a pack filled with men that turn into monsters every now and then. He should be somewhere safe, he should have never known about the supernatural beings of the world. He doesn’t deserve that… Derek takes his car and drives to the post office, sending it as urgent mail, even though that costs more then twice the price… it should be there within two days. He stops by a coffee shop on his way back, sitting down by himself and drinking a badly made coffee. He can just imagine Stiles sitting across for him and eating cake too quickly, trying his best to talk at the same time. It makes Derek smile, but it also makes him hurt. 

Derek was never good at expressing his emotion, in any other ways than through anger… but he is really good at anger, and hopelessness, pain even. Losing most of his family to a fire had really torn him up… and even though he and Derek had been on a bad side of each other at the time, he was just happy not to be the only Hale left. Dianna wasn’t a hale, she wasn’t even really family, his father’s sister had just taken her in for a while, and they had stayed in touch. Derek knew Dianna wanted him, once upon a time, that stopped after the fire… no one wanted Derek after that, there was no one left who cared about him. Everyone looked at him with fear after that, even people that didn’t know who he was, or what he was… they’d all shiver. His first memory of someone looking at him with something else than fear… was Stiles, looking at him with curiosity, and admiration. It had been a blessing in a time of need, Derek was able to settle, knowing that all hope wasn’t gone, he wasn’t all bad. He wants to laugh though, because maybe his hope is out, it’s only Stiles, that weird little thing. The others grew on him eventually, but still respects him with somewhat fear of his anger… Not Stiles though, Derek likes to think Stiles doesn’t really respect him, just accepted him. 

Stiles has been his comfort, just having him around has been like fresh breath of air. Stiles’ walk all over his nerves, hit every sore spot… But he never stops, never flinches, because he never realizes, and therefor never treats Derek like wounded cat.   
There are times Stiles has looked at him like he is crazy, but not even then has he avoided his gaze. Stiles never treats him different from anyone else. He is his savior in many ways, and he has never thanked him for that, because he is too proud.   
The name Hale, brings a massive amount of pride with it, but it mostly only brings responsibility and massive burdens. Stiles never refers to him as “Hale” Many does. To Stiles it was always “sourwolf” or his favorite… Derek. There is something different about the way Stiles says his name, it sounds different, and it feels different. It feels like home, and a comforting blanket. 

“Where have you been?” Isaac asks as Derek shuts the door behind him, he looks up to find Isaac standing in the kitchen, looking lost. It’s Friday and he checked their schedule and they all had the day off, a long weekend. “Posted something, and had a coffee.” Derek walks over and towers over Isaac, even tough Isaac is just as tall as him, almost, if you really squint your eyes, taller. “There’s no school today.” Derek says, looking up at the time… it even early to get up for school yet, so why is Isaac up. “I know… you said so last night.” Isaac blushes and sits down, submitting into a smaller position. “I was going to make breakfast for all of you… I thought you were still in bed.” Derek actually smiles, it’s a bit scary, to be honest… Isaac doesn’t see it though, because he is busy blushing. “Peter didn’t stop you?” Derek asks, sitting down across from him. “No, Peter is sleeping… I didn’t plan it, I just woke up form him snoring and pushing me around on the bed… so I got up, and figured I might as well spend my morning doing something.” Isaac shrugs, and does that thing that Derek likes, he meets his eyes. “What were you going to make?” Derek asks, he knows Isaac, Isaac doesn’t know how to cook. “That’s what I was trying to figure out… because I remembered I don’t know how to cook.” He cackles lightly, tapping his fingers on the table top. Derek usually tells him to stop, but it’s a nice sound… he likes it, it sounds like home, comforting. 

It’s when Derek realizes how much he needs to be with his pack, how comforting it is… Isaac’s endless nervous leg, and tapping fingers. Scott’s very loud snoring and the really irritating way he sometimes just looks at you, edging his head to the left. Peter’s grumbling and occasional growling… Artic’s sharp laugher and pitched voice, it’s all becoming his home, his comfort. And it has nothing to do with London, it’s all about the pack. But there is something missing, someone. Stiles. Stiles’ uncontrollable ticks, the annoying irony… the endless talking, just mumbling. The energy Stiles creates in their home, it’s missing. Derek has to fight the urge to bring him right back to them, it would be selfish… and John will probably not allow it, not Dianna either. Has Derek made a mistake? Or has he made the right choice, but wished he hadn’t? 

“Well, you can always help me… what do you think about egg and bacon” Isaac stills, sitting up straighter. “Like actual bacon?” Derek rolls his eyes. “Yeah, actual bacon.” Isaac claps his hands once and gets up, practically skipping over to the fridge and it reminds Derek too much of Stiles… His mood sinks again, but he doesn’t let Isaac know. Isaac doesn’t need to know, not when something as simple as actual bacon, is enough to make him happy. “Are you trying to win us back?” Scott asks as he comes down the stairs, Artic following close behind him. “From what?” Artic laughs and pushes Scott in front of him. “Yeah, Scott… from what?” Scott rolls his eyes and sits down on the couch that’s in the middle of the room. “From being grumpy all week.” Scott mutters, it’s silently… But there is no joking in his voice anymore. “Push your luck, and you’ll be eating oatmeal for the rest of your life… Scott.” It’s a warning for him to get into his place and not challenge the alpha. But it’s almost a joke as well, his voice is firm, but still calm. It makes Isaac shiver where he stands right next to him looking up at him carefully. “Watch your hands…” Derek says, he suddenly sounds like a concerned father as he grabs his hands away from the frying pan, where they have been drifting too close to the heating plate. Derek’s hands lingers on Isaac’s hands, holding them, just to make sure he didn’t get too close and didn’t notice. “I didn’t get burned.” Isaac blushes, it’s rare for Derek to touch them, he usually accepts that they move up to him, but something inside of him has changed. “Just be careful” Derek says, before letting go and getting back to scrambling eggs… Isaac insisted on having scrambled eggs with his bacon. 

“This is so good!” Isaac half moans as he eats, rocking his chair back and fort with excitement. “It really is” Artic smiles, looking at Derek like he’s a God or something.   
Derek smiles, actually. “Good, eat up.” Derek says, mostly to Artic, who is still just skin and bones. He has rounded out a bit, his cheeks aren’t that hollow anymore. Isaac also ate more, finally… he has been a bit bummed after Stiles left, losing his appetite.   
Peter eats in silence, resting one arm on Isaac’s knee… But he seems to enjoy it too.   
“What should we do today then, we all have the day off.” Scott says. “Well almost.” Peter says, looking at Derek. “I took the day off…” Derek says, making the room fall silent and everyone looks up at him, confused. “You did?” Isaac asks. “Yeah, I figured I could.” Derek shrugs, leaning back as he’s full. 

Stiles is frozen, his father had entered his room earlier that morning, handing him a package with Derek’s neat writing on it. He had opened it slowly, wondering why Derek would send him something, and what it could be. Now he’s sitting there with Derek’s leather jacket around his shoulder, frozen like stone, holding a note in his hand that he had found in one of the pockets. “I hope it helps, I want it back when you return.” He has his nose in the collar of the jacket he has sipped up around him. It smells like Derek, it really smells like him… he swears it’s still warm. He is still in his bed just clutching the jacket to himself, holding it so tightly. Stiles lays back down, falling back asleep. 

“Stiles, time to wake up now.” Dianna looks down at him, she wants to call Derek and shout at him… he was supposed to send the package to her, not directly to Stiles and the note that Stiles is clutching is filled with false hope. When you return…  
“Stiles, I’m sorry to wake you.” He groans and sits up, jacket hanging around his shoulders loosely. “What?” he asks, taking a moment to register what’s going on. “No, don’t touch it!” Stiles shouts, pulling away from her hands. “You’ve already ruined the blanket, don’t touch it.” He sounds like a child complaining. He looks at her, and sighs. “Sorry… just, don’t… please.” He leans back, looking at her. “So, what are we talking about today then.” It’s been two days since they had that first proper conversation with her… they have talked in all their next meetings, about everything and nothing, mostly the same things, mostly that he hates not remembering. “That’s fine… But maybe we can make a deal.” She stands up. “The jacket stays in this room, you can have it when you sleep… if you’re downstairs, the jacket stays here.” Stiles sighs frustratingly. “Can I wear it if I go outside?” he asks. Dianna considers it for a while. “No, it stays here.” 

“What should we talk about today?” Dianna asks, looking at Stiles who’s wandering around the kitchen, looking for something to eat. “I don’t know, I don’t want to talk about anything really.” He sits down with his bowl of cereal, he eats slowly, he misses oatmeal, he never thought he would. “Can’t we go outside?” he asks looking up at Dianna. “You want to?” Stiles has denied to get out of the house for the passed weeks, not wanting to be seen, because somehow the news has gotten out, and people know… rumors travels. “Yeah, maybe just to outside… like not to do something, just out.” Dianna nods, looking at him. “I assume you want to bring the jacket?” she asks, looking at him. “Yeah.” He looks down, looking guilty. “Fine, we can make compromises… you can bring the jacket if you go with me to the store, and you wait alone outside whilst I go in and just buy something?” Stiles considers it for a while, and nods, he can wait outside… that’s not too scary. 

“What store?” Stiles asks as they are about to leave the house. “I figured the closest one might be the best.” She smiles, opening the door and letting Stiles head out before her.   
He stands on the stairs again, for the first time since he came back home. Derek’s jacket is warming him more than it should. He is hugging himself all the way, whilst Dianna walks beside him, not saying anything… just looking at him from time to other. “Are you fine?” she asks when they are closing in and there’s a few people around. “Yeah, just… “ he doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t know what to say, because he doesn’t know why he’s scared. There is no one around him at the moment that he doesn’t know who is, and he is not alone, he has Derek’s jacket, why is he scared? Maybe it isn’t fear though, it doesn’t really feel like it. 

“You just wait here, unless you want to come in with me?” she asks, she has those eyes again, the ones that studies him. “No, I’ll wait.” He stands there, awkwardly, shivering. When she leaves he still feels at unease, but it doesn’t really get any worse. “Stiles!” Stiles spins around it’s someone from school, he doesn’t remember who it is though, they’re younger than him. He basically shrieks in fright, throwing his arms around and falling backwards on his butt. “Hey, relax Stilinski, I’m not going to hurt you” The teenager laughs awkwardly as he approaches Stiles, but Stiles mind has gone into panic mode and he crawls back for every step that closes in between them. “Get away!” Stiles whimpers as his back hits the wall behind him, trying to get up to run. “Stiles?” he turns his head, it’s one of the men that work with his father. “No!” the things is, Stiles knows him, so why is he scared, that very same man used to make him cocoa as he waited at the station for his father. 

They are staring after him, he can feel it. He runs, as quickly as his feet can carry him, the thing is he feels good… He can run this time, he can get away. Last time he was stuck, nowhere to run, cornered. He enters the woods, you would have though someone like Stiles, someone who knows the dangers that can hide there, would find somewhere else to go. But his mind was racing, he just needs to get away before someone would hurt him again. He doesn’t know why, or how, but he ends up at Derek’s old house. He must have ran much further than he thought because it’s a long way from home. But thinking about it, it’s darker around him. It also more chilled, like its gone colder all of a sudden.   
He walks up to the house, the door isn’t even locked, no one ever goes in there, and if they did, there is nothing inside. 

“Derek, I’m home.” Stiles voice is so weak, and so small he almost can’t hear himself. He walks upstairs, finding the room Derek used to sleep in, the short time he lived there… there is a small bed there, that’s now dusty and hasn’t been used for ages, but Stiles crawls into it and lets himself dump down on it, clutching the jack around himself. His breath slows down and he closes his eyes, pretending he can see Derek walking into the room, looking at him with those stupid glances that only Derek can. He smiles, Derek smiles to Stiles from where he’s standing in the door frame, leaning on it. The dust clouds form him dumping into the bed are still swirling lightly around him, getting another push every time he breathes. The room around him goes darker and darker, though it’s only late afternoon. He must have been running for hours, why hasn’t someone found him yet? Was no one looking, were they glad to be rid of him? Stiles sobs at the thought, his father not bothering to look for him. 

“Oh, stop the tears!” The person by the door, that had been Derek… turned into someone he never wanted to see again, he hardly remembers his face, yet there he stands. Holding the shot with the bloody needle. “No one’s going to save you, you little shit… I’m in jail because of you!” He approaches Stiles, and as Stiles screams and closes his eyes, the man vanishes in thin air. Stiles knows it’s his head messing with him, but they are so lifelike. He sobs heavily, even though with every breath he breathes in dust particles. “Derek!” it’s a broken sound, the one that leaves him… the last breath he holds as he cries. “Stiles? Yes, Derek, I found him.” Stiles looks around himself, all he can see is shadows and dust flying around. “He doesn’t seem to be hurt, just confused…” Deaton, it’s Deaton, but where is he. “He can’t see me, I think he’s a bit out of it.” A snap, right by his ear, then the other ear. “I am trying Derek, I can’t just shake him awake.” Stiles cries out frustratingly, why can’t he see Deaton!? “Yes, that’s him, he’s trying to come back.” 

Deaton looks down on Stiles, the teenager in front of him, is not the person he remembers as Stiles. He looks smaller, thinner and even though the kid was already pale, he seemed more like a grey kind of pale now. With dirt in his face and leafs in his hair, where he’s laying on the ground. Deaton had gotten a call form Derek, that Stiles father said that Stiles had gone missing after an incident. “He’s probably at my old house, or on his way there.” Derek had sounded sure, so Deaton had agreed to go look for him. He hadn’t found him at the house however, so he called Derek back and said he wasn’t there. Derek had started freaking out, when Scott took the phone. “I’m not sure, but he could be by the oak, do you remember that field?” Deaton had sighed, why would Stiles be there… But when he finally gets there, that is exactly where Stiles is, bewildered on the ground, crying. 

“Come on now Stiles” Is the last thing Stiles remembers before he blacks out, and Deaton picks him up, heading for his car. He hasn’t told the sheriff that he would be looking for Stiles, because it would only slow him down to have a bunch of worried men running around behind him, probably ending up scaring Stiles. Derek had told Deaton that Stiles isn’t well, but the way he had described it, doesn’t fit the way he found the kid. It must have gotten worse, after Derek separated Stiles from the pack. He’s got Stiles into his car, packed up in blankets as he drives towards where the search party is still franticly looking under every stick and stone. As he drives up to where they’ve set camp there are blue lights flashing around the area, an ambulance waiting to take Stiles to the hospital, police cars standing around the place. “Sheriff!” Deaton call as he gets out of the car, walking around it, and lifting Stiles out in his arms. 

Stiles opens his eyes, looking right up at Deaton, Deaton however isn’t looking at him, but ahead of them. “Stiles!” it’s his dad! “Dad!” Stiles franticly moves around in Deaton’s arms, trying to get down on the ground, to his dad. Deaton is momentarily startled as Stiles wakes up in his arms without him noticing it, and begins bashing around. When his father finally reaches him Stiles throws himself at him, gripping on to him with dear life. He shudders with cold, but in his fathers arms it suddenly doesn’t matter anymore, he’s safe. John would be lying if he didn’t admit to shedding a tear as his son embraces him with such force his breath gets knocked out of him. “Stiles, I got you… calm down boy.” Stiles hasn’t noticed, but he is crying loudly, bellowing. Dianna is standing in the background, on her phone, probably talking with Derek. 

Derek is standing in the kitchen, knowing that the others can hear his conversation with Dianna anyways. They have found Stiles, he is found, safe. What breaks Derek’s heart the most is hearing him cry, it was more like screams. It sounds so broken, so lost. Isaac is cowering behind Peter, hiding his nose in Peter’s neck. Artic is holding on to Scott who’s crying. Derek is numb, just numb. He can’t hear what Dianna is saying anymore, her words just mix out in Stile cries. Peter walks over, grabbing the phone from him and putting it down, hanging up without further notice to Dianna. “You need to go see him Derek, this idea of sending home obviously isn’t working.” Peter says, confronting Derek with what he had begun to fear, he has made a mistake. “If I go to see him now, I can’t leave him again…” Derek mutters. “Then don’t, I might not be an alpha, but I can take care of these kids, they hardly cause any damage.” Derek sighs, as much as he wants to, it’s a bad choice, leaving his entire pack behind. Peter is capable of taking care of them, yes, but he can’t protect them against other packs, other alphas. “It’s too risky, we still don’t know if Artic’s alpha is going to make a move, and we still haven’t met any other packs that we can count on our side.” Derek furrows his brows. 

“I don’t think he’ll do anything, he is weak without any betas following him.” Artic says, looking up from where he’s been busy trying to calm Scott down. “He might have other packs supporting him.” Derek says, sitting down on one of the wooden chairs at the kitchen counter. “Derek, you have to” It’s Isaac, looking at him with pleading eyes. He heard Stiles screaming, and he knows how it felt to scream like that, and he also knows how it felt to be alone afterwards… Now Stiles is obviously not alone, but it is clear that he wants Derek. Needs Derek. “I can’t just leave you behind.” Derek groans, leaning forward and closing his eyes. “Then get him back.” Scott says, wiping his tears. “Convince the Sheriff that his is the best place for Stiles.” He says, nodding to himself, like it actually is a good idea. “Scott, Dianna wouldn’t approve of that, he needs to be somewhere safe, not only of the supernatural, but also of the streets and strangers. “ Scott sniffle, clearing his throat. “But what if he wants to be here?” Derek glances up, he knows where Stiles would rather be, but he also has an inside as to why. Stiles has attached to them, as a pack, he is a pack member, no matter how much Derek tries to deny it. Stiles has become pack, and it and it is vital for him to be with them… no matter where they are. But Derek is scared to admit it, Stiles is part of his pack, forever.


	9. Take Me Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek comes to visit Stiles, what happens, how does Stiles react?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I'm late again! I was stupid enough to lose my password 0,o   
> But I'm back now, so here is a new chapter!!! :D 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes!  
> enjoy!

Stiles is still shaken up about the whole thing, he can’t understand how he thought he was one place, so lividly, even though he was just in the middle of a field. “But I just don’t get it, I clearly remember walking up the stairs, and laying down in his bed.” He mumbles under his breath. Dianna has pretty much stayed at their house for the last four days, as his father won’t let him stay on his own. Dianna can say what she wants, Stiles won’t take Derek’s jacket off, he always holds on to it. “You probably fainted before you started imagining any of it, it might as well just have been a dream.” Dianna explains as she hands him a cup of hot chocolate and a bowl with sliced fruits. “Are you trying to make me healthy?” Stiles groans, though he is frankly very happy about the sliced fruits, and it makes him chuckle with the thought of Derek slicing fruits.   
“No… You were out of crisps, so I came up with an improvised snack.” She pulls her shoulder looking at him for a longer period of time. 

“You have a phone now, have you called any of the others? Scott maybe?” Dianna knows Stiles has been hesitant to call any of them, wondering what they are thinking of him. He knows that they know about him getting lost, probably even the whole thing about how it happened, and that he had believed that he’d been at Derek’s house. “I’ve talked to Isaac a few times, he mostly tells me about school, and how he misses having me there, and that they all want me to come back.” There is a lack of excitement that Dianna notices, she would have thought he wanted to go back. She knows he wants to go back. “And, you don’t think they really do?” Stiles smiles bitterly, putting the bowl down on the table, still half full. “I don’t think all of them want me back, Isaac does, Scott does… Artic I don’t know about, I didn’t really have a chance to get to know him all that well… Peter doesn’t mind, he didn’t want me there in the start, but once he accepted me into the pack, I’m sure he won’t mind that I come back… especially since Isaac wants me back.” He pauses after that, there is one person he hasn’t mentioned, and that is the person he is convinced is better off with Stiles being in Beacon Hills. 

“What about Derek?” she asks, also putting her cup on the table, so that her hands are free to note down something on her papers. “It’s pretty clear where he wants me to be, he wouldn’t have sent me back home hadn’t he thought this is where I belong.” Stiles sips from his hot chocolate, the sweetness is inviting and calming… But it only makes him think of Derek, makes him think of how warm Derek is, and how sweet. But there is also something bitter about it, just like a light after taste. And lets not forget… hot, steaming. Stiles blushes as his stupid mind steps in and takes over his thoughts,   
even in such a challenging and difficult place that he is in his mind finds time and space to picture Derek as a steaming cup of hot chocolate… But with the tanned skin and the dark hair, the rich smell and natural goodness. Who can blame Stiles for drifting to a slightly naughty place? But it disgusts him at the same time, because he doesn’t want to think of Derek in that way. He wants to look at the good qualities that Derek has, his protectiveness, his skill, not just the superior looks. He wants to look at Derek as a person, because he deserves that, Derek deserves to be seen as who he is. And yes, he is a very attractive person, but he is also a very good person. 

“If he came here, and told you that he wants you to come with him, and the only thing stopping you, would be your father not letting you go… what would you do?” Dianna asks, it’s hard for Stiles to picture because that is so unlikely that his mind doesn’t want to consider Derek showing up at his doorstep. Thinking about Derek in general is stressful for Stiles, he misses him. Just the closeness of Derek, just the thought of it is dizzying. And he doesn’t want to think about it, because he doesn’t want to miss it even more. There is this aching inside of him just grows wider and sorer for every time his mind forces him to remember Derek. 

“Stiles? Dianna asks, looking at Stiles, she can see he has drifted to a far off place. His mind must be taking him to places he doesn’t want to think about, because the terror in his eyes are visible. But looking closer, there is more of a longing, pain. “I don’t know, I don’t know what I’d do… But it doesn’t matter, though, does it?” Stiles blinks rapidly, as if he’s trying to wake himself up again, pull himself out of that dark place.   
“Why would you say that?” Dianna asks, scribbling down in her papers, noting the distant look in his eyes. “Because it won’t happen now, will it?” He sounds like a prissy teenager again, he rubs his eyes and curls in on himself, trying to hide in the jacket that is wrapped around him loosely. Dianna doesn’t answer. She still hasn’t told Stiles about the call she received from Derek, that he wants Stiles back. She had yelled at him for hours, trying to reason with him, there was no way that he could just waltz back into his life like nothing had happened. And there is no way she would allow it, and the Sheriff will surly not approve of Derek’s decision to just suddenly taking the boy back.   
Derek has called the Sheriff, and he had been highly upset by it, not wanting anything of it. He is allowed to come visit, but not take Stiles back with him. 

Derek had argued for hours, using points like Stiles still calling his name as he wakes from nightmares, thinking he had gone to Derek’s place in the woods, and wearing his jacket like it was a lifeline. They are good points, but taking Stiles back to London, is still a bad idea. So until Derek can convince them, he will drop by for a visit that very weekend. Dianna knows how desperate Derek would have to be, to leave his pack behind in London, just to see Stiles. It’s Thursday, so it would only be two days until Derek got there… he will be staying from Saturday until Tuesday. Dianna has no way of knowing how Stiles will react to the visit, she doesn’t agree on it. It might as well just make things worse, Derek will have to leave again, he’ll have to break Stiles’ heart and leave him behind yet another time. It isn’t fair upon Stiles, but then again, it might do Stiles some good, give him time to relax and see for himself that Derek is fine… and doesn’t hate him. That is a mayor thing for Stiles, he presumes that Derek doesn’t like him, and doesn’t want him around and definitely not back into his pack. 

“But just try to imagine it, what would you do Stiles?” she asks again trying to provoke an answer out of him, she can see he is trying to get away from the situation, shrugging and pretending he doesn’t know. “I don’t know… I’d be angry.” He says casually. “But Stiles, would you be angry because he wants you back but you don’t get to go with him… or because he wants you back, but you don’t want to go?” She asks, not noticing that she says it like it’s actually going to happen… which it is. “Wait… what?” Stiles looks over at her, furrowing his brows. “Would you want to go with him?” She ask trying to pretend that she didn’t almost give it away. “Yeah, obviously, but I don’t understand why we’re talking about it… you’ve told me to focus on reality, so why are you asking me to imagine that Derek actually wants me back?” Dianna smiles sadly at Stiles, getting up from the couch, walking over to the kitchen with her cup. “I just wanted to know how your mind works… and where you stand with Derek.” Stiles snorts, trying to hide back into the jacket.   
Derek doesn’t know at what point he was absolutely sure, he needs Stiles back… he is willing to leave his pack behind for a few days to go see him, even though he knows he probably will have to go more times, because John is unwilling to let his son go back to London. Derek understands why, John had trusted him to take care of his son, and then Derek returns his son in such a tragic state… Derek wouldn’t trust himself either. But he has learnt, he can do it now. He needs to, as Stiles’ alpha. Isaac is helping him pack, mainly because he is scurrying around telling Peter all the things he needs to do, and all the things that he needs to remember, and be careful about. Rules and tips. Peter sits patiently waiting, listening and taking to heart everything Derek says, because he knows it’s important to Derek. Scott and Artic are sitting and working with school related things, trying to keep up with their school work, which was one of the mayor things Derek is hacking Peter about. “Make sure they still keep up, get them there in time, I don’t want them taking the buss…” Derek turns around his own steps and adds “And make sure there is money on their accounts, so that they have lunch money.” Then he spins again, walking hurriedly over to Isaac, who’s still folding Derek’s shirts. “I can’t find your leather jacket.” Isaac almost sounds sorry, like it’s his fault, like it’s he who lost track of it or something. “Don’t worry about it, I probably left it at work, I’ve been busy lately.” He smiles and caresses Isaac’s neck gently with a rugged hand. 

Isaac trembles slightly under his touch, leaning in. No matter how safe he feels with Peter, he prefers having Derek around at all times. But he knows it’s necessary for him to go see Stiles, and hopefully sometime soon, bring him back. “How long are you staying?” Isaac asks, still clinging to Derek’s side. “Three days, I’ll be back on Tuesday.” Derek promises, petting Isaac’s hair once before pulling up his laptop to order tickets. Isaac scurries over to Peter and nudges his chest to make him move. “We’ll be alright Isaac, I wouldn’t let anything happen to any of you.” Peter whispers down into Isaac’s ear. There is something soft about Peter, Isaac craves it. He can’t help but wonder at what point Peter started softening up… But Isaac loves seeing the contrasts of when Peter is whispering gentle words into his ear, and to when he is dominating him into submission in bed. Isaac doesn’t deny that it is a bit of a kink, really. 

Derek has the tickets, he is packed and ready to leave, he is going to take a night flight to get there, so he needs to leave soon. There is one thing he needs to do first though, make dinner. It’s the last time he can make sure that they were all fed properly… It’s one of his issues, having to always make sure none of them were hungry, in particularly it counts for Isaac, and Artic. He doesn’t want to admit it, but he has really started getting used to having Artic around, and wants him to stay. 

Derek is watching the clouds pass by, counting the minutes and just hoping that his pack is still safe in London, it was most nerve wracking for the amount of time he had to shut his phone off, he doesn’t like not being able to answer their calls, or just texting to know for certain that they are all alright. And that counts for Stiles too, Stiles had yet to call him, but Derek always worries that if Stiles finally did, he wasn’t around to answer it. Or even Dianna, to tell him that Stiles is fine, or freaking out… just something, he hates feeling so out of touch with everyone, he needs to know what’s going on. The turbulence keeps him up all night, and the fact that he is incredible restless, not knowing if he is even doing the right thing anymore. The only one that doesn’t know he is coming is Stiles… The Sheriff isn’t too happy about it, but has admitted that Stiles needs to see him. Dianna has advised him to make up his mind, either stay or go, there was no dropping by from time to other. He can’t keep breaking Stiles’ heart. And he knows that, he really does. But if he can’t even visit him from time to other, to make sure he is alright, the choice is clear for Derek, stiles needs to be around at all times, he needs to take Stiles back home with him. He just needs to convince that Sheriff, and Dianna… Because for some reason, he doesn’t think convincing Stiles will be the problem. 

It’s early morning when the plane lands and he walks over to get his luggage, he’s worn down from staying awake through the whole flight. He’s sure he’ll fall asleep once Stiles is safely in his arms again. Derek’s holding his phone, patiently waiting for Peter to call him back, he has called him, twice but Peter hasn’t responded. He isn’t too surprised when Isaac’s the one to call him only minutes later, sounding like he hasn’t had much sleep either. “Sorry, I was downstairs.” He whispers as he leaves the room, closing the door silently behind him. He brings the phone with him back down again, sitting down on the couch he had been curled up on all night. There had been a storm outside, and Isaac has been worried about Derek being on a plane. Peter had gone to bed early, leaving him up with Scott and Artic, and even though he didn’t like staying up last, he has spent the night listening to the radio… just in case there was some news on a plane crash or something. It’s a bit paranoid of him, but for something to happen to Derek, it is a big deal for him… Sure he’d still have Peter, that yes, he loved… But without Derek? He doesn’t know what his life would ever be without Derek, he knows enough to know that if Derek hadn’t turned up in his life when he did… Isaac would most likely be dead. Or something bad, like a drug addict or a dropout and homeless. But because of Derek, he’s healthy, loved and in school. 

“Have you been up all night?” Derek asks, looking to see if his bag passes by. “Yeah, I was worried about the storm.” Isaac sounds embarrassed, but Derek just smiles and exhales heavily, wanting to hug him to his chest and tell him he shouldn’t worry so much. “I’m fine Isaac, just a bit of turbulence.” He spots his bag and walks over to snatch it. “So, do you think Stiles will be happy to see you?” Derek frowns, he hasn’t really thought about it, but when he does, he realizes he has no idea how Stiles will react to him suddenly returning. What if he didn’t want him to come back, nobody had asked him. Maybe that was the problem all along, nobody asking what Stiles really wanted, the kid was almost eighteen anyways. 

“I really don’t know Isaac, but I hope it won’t hurt him…. Now, you listen to me, go upstairs and sleep for a few hours, and then make sure you let Peter know you’re staying home from school for today. And to make you breakfast, proper breakfast.” Isaac chuckles and get’s up from the couch and sprints up the stairs, stepping into Peter and his room. “Yeah, alright… Good luck with Stiles.” Isaac smiles when Derek grunts and hangs up on him. “Coming to bed?” Peter asks, pulling he sheets back. Isaac nods and practically jumps into bed, curling up to Peter’s chest. Isaac hums appreciatively when Peter starts kissing his hair, pulling him closer to himself, almost crushing him… It’s at that point where it gets harder for Isaac to breath, that he feels most comfortable. It seems ironic as he is badly claustrophobic, but being held by Peter, feels like he’s being held together. Peter holds him, he knows better then to let go once he has Isaac in his lock, he won’t let go, not until Isaac is asleep… and even then he will hold him, just not so tightly. Peter doesn’t really want to admit it, but holding Isaac like that, it’s just as reliving for him as it is for Isaac. He needs it, the smell of his boy’s curly hair that tickles his cheek. 

Stiles yawns… he’s tired, nightmares are bothering him again, taking away his nightly sleep. He finds it easier to sleep at daytime, but he doesn’t want to sleep too much at daytime either, worried that Dianna will find out about the nightmares worsening. In the beginning they had been realistic, so realistic that Stiles almost ended up mistaking them for the truth… They’ve turned more disturbing. He can’t separate the things that are real and the part that was just imagination. He wouldn’t call it supernatural happenings, because well... supernatural things are already happening around him, but that was the real world. These are just actual nightmares, twisting his mind and confusing him. It takes him minutes to realize he has woken up, that he is awake… the nightmares become illusions of his actual life, so he doesn’t notice that he has woken up and he’ll be bashing around in bed for minutes before his mind catches up. 

The last few days have been horrid, but somehow he seems to feel better… when he is awake, so why was he getting worse when he is asleep? “Stiles, you should lie down for a while, you don’t look too good.” Dianna looks at him, studying the pale skin shining with a pale, green gleam. She worries that Stiles getting better is just a mask he is putting up, but that would mean he is smarter then her, in a state of shock and pain. Maybe she actually is underestimating him? “Yeah, I think I’m coming down with something…” Stiles curls in on himself on the couch, closing his eyes and dropping out on the second. It’s Saturday, in only a few hours Derek should be there… What Stiles has no faith will happen is about to happen right before his eyes and there is nothing she can do about it, she wonders if it’s actually the right thing to do, to let Derek get close again. What if he gets too close, or Stiles gets too dependent… Derek can’t stay, he has a pack back in London that needs him just as much, they might not be ill or struggling, but they physically needs him to be around. She has met Isaac once, it was enough for her to realize that Isaac is pretty lost without Derek. She watches over Stiles as he sleeps, looking for any signs of discomfort, but he seems to be relaxing, maybe not completely, but enough for him to lie completely still and snore lightly. Even his heart is beating steadily as he hides in the collar of Derek’s jacket. 

Derek can’t begin to describe how much he hates busses, and yet he finds himself waiting for one. His car is back in London so he is stuck with the slow public transportation system that leads him to Beacon Hills. He has called Peter, who questioned him about why he said Isaac could stay at home from school… considering it was weekend… “They don’t go to school on Saturdays, Derek.” Derek had frowned for a second, his mind was already on overload, he was too far away from them, he should be close. He should know where they are and where they are going. “I know, I just had a long night okay… the turbulence must have given me a concussion.” He mutters sarcastically, paying for his buss ticket and finding himself a seat in the far back. One hour left, there was just one hour left before he’s back in Beacon Hills, back to Stiles. He picks up his phone and texts Scott asking if Peter is with them all, and that they are all at home. He receives an answer, just not the one that he wants. Peter and Isaac are at home, which is good… But him and Artic have gone outside alone. They did all the time obviously, but if something happens this time, Derek won’t be able to get there in time. He tells them to go back home, he doesn’t get an answer, but he hopes Scott has the wit to do as he’s told. 

It hits Derek like a bit of a train wreck, when he realizes he was within reach when it was Stiles that went missing, and still he couldn’t get there in time. He still couldn’t stop it, prevent anything from happening. He flinches when his mind makes him re-live the way they’d found Stiles… Mostly undressed and covered in bruises and blood, whining in desperation to get away, but too drugged down to move controllably, his limbs just flailing around in a weak attempt to get away. Derek can still see how overshadowed his eyes had been, they had just seemed so empty, endlessly deep. He can remember noticing the small red dots on Stiles’ arm, fearing the worst. Needles were carelessly thrown around them and just one wrong move from Stiles could mean the difference between life and death at that point. He can remember almost blacking out when he saw the handprints on Stiles’ hips, and the claw marks down his chest, made by frail human nails. He can remember the countless bite marks at Stiles’ neck. Derek remembers it all, in gruesome detail. 

The buss comes to a halt, the end station, Beacon Hills. Derek almost flies out off his seat and though he was in the back of the buss, he is the first one out. He can spot the Sheriff’s car from across the road and heads over… John must be there to make him change his mind, or just yell at him, or something. John and Derek hasn’t met after the accident, because Derek had been in hurry to get to the next plane back, and well.. Stiles had told him to fuck off. “Wasn’t sure if I should’ve come.” John mutters as Derek sits into his car and looks right ahead, like he’s ashamed to look at John, and in a way he is… he promised to protect his son, and he returns him in a state of absolute destruction. “Wasn’t sure I should either.” Derek replies, using John’s words. The rain has started pouring around them, tapping on the hood of the car. “Stiles still needs you, for some reason I really can’t explain.” Derek smiles, he knows John knows about them being werewolves… But Derek still does his best to keep it a distant reality to him. Not wanting to pull more people into it than necessary. He whishes he hadn’t pulled Stiles into it either, but it was impossible to do anything about it, Scott had been so dependent on Stiles… 

“Yeah, but this is about what’s best for him… and I’m not sure I’m it.” John smiles bitterly, starting the car and heading home. “No, I’m not sure you are either, but for some reason he has decided that you are.” They stay silent for most of the ride, just speaking when Derek asks how Stiles is doing. “He’s better… I think.” John doesn’t know what to say, because honestly, he doesn’t really know how his son is doing. “He still has nightmares, bad ones… worse I’d say.” John keeps his eyes on the road, even though Derek’s eyes are noticeably locked on him. “He doesn’t say much, or do much… just… sits there.” John shrugs, parking the car. “Like he is trapped in his own mind.” Derek ads, and oh, he knows that feeling. Too locked up to do anything about it, it was just the way he had been after his family passed. Closed off. Though Derek showed it with clear anger, whilst Stiles probably just sits still and doesn’t act like his frantic self. The minor ticks that he used to have, twitchy neck and flailing hands… 

“Go easy on him.” John warns as they close in on the front door, Derek can feel his heart beating quicker and quicker, he almost feels sick. Derek doesn’t understand what is making him feel like that, making his palms clammy and his stomach flutter… it’s almost… delightful? He likes it, but it’s also a callous feeling. He takes a deep breath as John opens the door, he can see someone inside, but it’s Dianna… Standing in the hall. “Sheriff, home so early?” She asks, her eyes send Derek a cold glance. They might be family of sort, and she might’ve done this as a favor to Derek, but her job comes first, and Dianna doesn’t agree on Derek showing up unannounced, with the possibility of wrecking all the progress that she has made with Stiles. And by God she has struggled to get under his skin, lurk even the slightest information out of him. She knows that Stiles will be happy, there is no denying it. But she just isn’t sure that it will do him any good, sure he might sleep for the few nights Derek is present and he might not wake up so shaken from his nightmares if he knows that Derek is around to protect him.   
The one thing she hopes will help though, is that Stiles will be aware that Derek still wants him around, and doesn’t hate him for anything. Stiles needs to feel loved, and cared for, and he needs someone to get close to him, hold him… touch him. 

Derek walks in, taking his shoes of, still not having made a sound. “He’s sleeping… just fell asleep, he probably hasn’t slept well, so maybe you should let him sleep?” Dianna’s voice is slightly cold as she speaks to Derek. “If you think so...” however he walks past her and into the living room. There, on the couch is Stiles, curled up… in his leather jacket. Stiles is much smaller, from lack of eating properly. He must be just skin and bones, and the purple color under his eyes is the lack of sleep… The furrowed brows that stirs him in his sleep is the lack of Derek. Derek just can’t help it, he walks over, sits down on his knees in front of the couch, right in front of Stiles face and just looks at him, listening to his heart. “Stiles” his voice is low and broken, it’s just like looking down at the Stiles he had found drugged down and abused. 

Stiles stirs, sighing as he wakes up again, he can’t have been asleep for more then a few moments when something wakes him. As his eyes open, he realizes he is still dreaming, because before him is Derek, looking down at him with his brown eyes, face contracted in concern. Stiles smiles gently, reaching his hand out… But like usually, he knows it will just glide through Derek, in his dreams he can never reach Derek, it’s like he’s an illusion or something… no matter how much Stiles tries grabbing for him, running into him reaching out for him, Derek just slips between his fingers. 

Firm, his hand lands on something firm and alive, something warm and… present.   
“Stiles?” Derek never speaks in his dreams, but his names falls from Derek’s lips as Stiles hand is resting in the nape of his neck. Resting on existing skin, a living being… not an illusion. “D… Derek?” Stiles’ face crumbles instantly, a loud sob pours out of him as Stiles grasps onto Derek’s skin, pulling him in, and Derek follows. “DEREK!” he shrieks, clambering around Derek’s neck, holding on for dear life. “It hurts!” Stiles moans hoarsely, screaming in despair, it physically hurts him to see Derek, feel Derek, smell Derek… How can Derek be there? How can it be real? “Stiles” Derek’s voice is still calm, but there is tears landing on Stiles neck. “Derek” It’s a whimper, so small that Derek shivers, holding on tighter, getting up so that he is carrying Stiles for a moment before he sits down, having Stiles in his lap. “I’m here, I’m here Stiles.” Stiles chokes on sob after sob, trying to make the pain go away, but his chest contracts over and over again. Making him cry louder, harsher. “Derek” he just can’t stop saying his name, Derek, it’s Derek, Derek is back. 

It takes over an hour for Stiles to stop crying, and when he does he‘s still clutching himself to Derek’s neck, worried that if he lets go, Derek will slip away again.   
“I’ve missed you.” Stiles doesn’t comprehend Derek’s words at first, he has never heard Derek speak them before, surprise rises inside of him, making his heart flutter and his breath hitch. “I’ve missed you so much, Stiles.” Derek strokes down his back, giving away his heat to Stiles. Stiles doesn’t answer, he just lets his fingers curl and uncurl in the nape of Derek’s neck, catching a few strands of his hair, pulling them gently. Derek angles his head and kisses Stiles hair warmly, one of his firm hands supporting Stiles’ neck and the other still stroking his back. Stiles smiles, he moves in even closer, like he is trying to melt their skin together, and really, he wouldn’t mind if that did actually happen. “Are you taking me home?” it breaks Derek, those words, they tear him to pieces. Derek holds on tightly as he answers Stiles, he doesn’t want to, but he can’t give him any false hope. “No… not yet, you need to stay with your father for a bit longer.” Derek hums down into Stiles ear, the teenager tenses under him, and the crying starts over again. Those pleading destroyed sobs, ripping through Stiles throat. 

“Stiles listen to me, calm down… once you’re better, there is nothing I’d like better then to have you back. But you need to stay here, and listen to your father.” Stiles slowly calms down again, but the oozing pain is back, the loss of his comfort… he thought he was going home, with Derek… he just wants Derek. He can’t help it, Derek’s hands in his neck and at the bottom of his spine, lull him to sleep, peaceful sleep. Derek can’t stop watching him, his eyes are locked on the small boy sleeping in his arms, finally. There is something satisfying about having him back in his arms, though he has never really held him like that before… apart from that one time Stiles slept in his bed. Dianna and John has been in the kitchen the whole time, giving them some space to meet again. Now they join Derek in the living room, looking at a peaceful Stiles resting calmly. “You know he hasn’t taken that jacket off in ages, if you could lure him out of it, that would be good.” John says silently, putting the TV on… Something inside of him felt like he can relax again as he sees his son sleeping so still. It’s like he knows that Stiles finally felt safe again, though it hurt that he isn’t the one that can make him feel safe, it’s good to know that someone can. 

“You okay, Derek?” Dianna asks as she watches him, she can almost feel how tired he is. “Yeah, just a rough flight.” He mumbles, still not taking his eyes off of Stiles for even a second. There is nothing about that moment that could in any way improve, well apart form maybe having his pack around. But at that very moment it really doesn’t matter, he‘s just thrilled to have Stiles back, even if it’s just for a short while. “You can take him upstairs if you’d like, his room is on the far end.” John says, looking over at Derek, noticing the way he is looking at his son… He has known all along, he could see the way Stiles would look at Derek and the way that Derek would look back at him. And for ages he had hated it and tried his best to make sure Stiles knew that Derek wasn’t someone he should go after. But somehow, watching Stiles curling up to him, and watching Derek not taking his eyes away from him and holding him so gently, makes him reconsider. 

Derek picks up Stiles’ small body and carries him with him, even as he walks up the stairs his eyes are locked on Stiles, just studying every new information about his face, so much has changed, and Derek doesn’t like it, because the changes are not for the better. He reaches Stiles’ room, opening the room with his elbow.   
The last time Derek carried Stiles like that, was when he carried him away from the worst day of their life. He puts Stiles down on the bed, slowly working his leather jacket off him, trying not to wake him. Stiles stirs, furrowing his brows. “Derek?” the voice that breaks the silence is small and groggy. “I’m here, Stiles… I’m here.” Derek reassures, holding him gently, putting away the jacket and sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I’m here.” He strokes his hand through Stiles’ hair, feeling the silky but lifeless locks slip between his fingers. Stiles whimpers, it’s just a small sound, but it breaks Derek’s heart to hear it… it’s like someone has kicked a puppy. To Derek, Isaac is his puppy, Scott is some kind of a independent pup… Peter, an old dog who can’t learn new tricks.  
Derek had promised himself not to get a new pup, and yet there he was… Stiles, Derek’s puppy. He can’t leave him again, but he can’t be parted from his pack… and he isn’t allowed to take Stiles with him, he can’t move the whole pack back… There is simply no way to make it right for everyone. And it’s his fault, he had upset Stiles, he hadn’t looked after him properly. “Derek.” Derek jumps out of his small trance, looking down into big doe eyes, tears edging in them as he reaches out his arms, like a child would for his mother. Derek leans down, pushing his hands under Stiles shoulders and resting his head in the nape of Stiles’ neck… he practically feels how Stiles shakes. 

“Derek, stay with me, please.” Stiles begs, gripping harder around Derek’s neck. “I’m not going anywhere.” Derek whispers, cuddling down into Stiles heat. “Move over.” Derek frees himself from Stiles, smiling when Stiles practically flies over to the far end of the bed. Stiles whines when Derek is about to sit down on the bed, making Derek freeze. Derek gapes in awe as Stiles crawls over on his knees and stops as his hands reach the bottom of Derek’s T-shirt, pulling it upwards. “Off” he whines, pulling it as far up as he can reach. “Fine, relax.” Derek pulls the shirt over his head, again about to sit down when Stiles hands reach for his pants, pulling on the belt. “Stiles” The slight warning doesn’t scare Stiles off from opening the button of Derek’s jeans… It makes Derek shutter to feel Stiles long, cold fingers scrape over his skin so gently. “Help” Stiles lifts his hands, wanting Derek to undress him. Derek can’t help it, it’s instinct to help him… Derek needs to help him, even though somewhere inside of him, there is something telling him that Stiles is just a teenager and the things going through his mind are wrong. They are not dirty, well, usually. But they are so wrong, for him to think about Stiles in such a way… No, he has to contain himself. Once they are both in their boxers, Stiles’ hands reach out for him again, wanting him close. He remembers Isaac doing equal things, reaching out, wanting to be physically touched as much as possible, held, skin to skin. He remembers having to hold him for hours, but it’s instinct for Isaac to do that… It’s not for Stiles though. 

Derek crawls into bed, lays down and holds the duvet up as Stiles scurries under it and immediately latches himself onto Derek’s chest, his head resting on Derek’ shoulder, his chest halfway over Derek’s and his hand grasping at Derek’s chest… one leg thrown over one of Derek’s. So close, Stiles is so close, and it feels so good. “I didn’t think you wanted to see me.” Stiles admits, nuzzling to Derek’s neck… It’s strange, and Stiles can’t explain it, why he feels the need to be so close. He has had feelings for Derek for ages, yes, but never craved his presence. And since when was he comfortable with someone touching him, so closely? He had been awkward before the incident, and insecure after. Why did it feel so right, so… safe? 

“Stiles, why would you think that?” Derek has one arm around Stiles and the other one resting by his neck, caressing the small hairs in Stiles’ neck. “You sent me away… and then you didn’t answer my text.” Stiles sniffles, letting his nails scrape over the skin of Derek’s ribcage as he tightens his grip, like he worries Derek will disappear.   
Derek holds him tighter, nestling him. Since when did Derek do anything like what he was doing with Stiles? With Isaac it had been alpha instinct, to care, to help and heal. With Stiles… With Stiles it was love, need. He needs it as much as Stiles, and he doesn’t ever want it to stop. With Isaac it had been instinct to hold him until he didn’t need to be held anymore. With Stiles he doesn’t want to let go, not ever, not again. “I’m sorry, I thought it would be easier if we cut it right off… I only wanted what’s best for you, and I thought that would be to stay here with your dad. I failed to take care of you Stiles, so I didn’t think you trusted me, why would you?” Stiles smiles, it’s small, but it’s a smile. 

“Because I love you, you didn’t fail me, I failed you when I left… I failed you when I kept running, I failed when I didn’t tell you I was struggling, Derek I failed, I failed everything. I fail tell you how I feel, and what I want. I’m a failure…” Derek freezes at those three words, Stiles has just said he loves him… There had been no hesitation, and the only difference in his heart was it beating quicker as Stiles struggles to speak, to say those things that made him sound so ashamed, Stiles is ashamed that he has failed. In Derek’s mind, Stiles is a winner, he has gotten so far, handled so much, at some point it’s too much for anyone, so obviously it would end up being too much for Stiles, he hasn’t failed. “No, Stiles… you didn’t fail, you haven’t failed me, you haven’t failed anyone.” Derek whispers, holding him close. “I love you” Derek whispers back, the words thick on his lips, like they don’t belong there, but they make Stiles smile, giggle and fall asleep, on the spot. Derek is left awake, replaying the sound of Stiles telling him he loves him… It makes him wonder, what is it Stiles loves? 

Derek slowly fades to sleep, still having Stiles wrapped around him, cuddling up to his side like his life depends on it. And for the first time, in a very long time, everything just feels safe… it feels like home, it’s together with Stiles that everything feels like home again. Home is with Stiles, Stiles needs to be a part of it. It was always him, the final piece, it has to be him. Derek sleeps deeply, and so does Stiles, no nightmares, and no frights… He just feels completely relaxed, and when he wakes he’s fully rested, for the first time in years. 

Derek wakes up slowly, to a hand running through his hair, and a teenager moving around on his chest. “Stiles?” Derek asks, his heart skips a beat, is there a reason he’s moving around like that, is he scared, hurt? “Morning” But Stiles voice is calm, and gruffy, like right out of sleep. “Hey.” Derek mumbles back, resting onto his pillow again, closing his eyes, hoping to gain a few more hours of sleep, he knows he should be rested, but Derek is exhausted. “I’m sorry I woke you.” Stiles makes a move to pull of off Derek, but Derek catches his shoulders in his arms and holds him still. “It doesn’t matter, it really doesn’t.” Derek breathes him in, looking down on him, he is so tempting… What happens next is so wrong, and it makes them both freeze. Derek’s lips grace Stiles’ just for a second, but it’s definitely a kiss.


	10. What are we

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when Derek is forced to leave Beacon Hills much sooner that he thought?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back, sorry for the wait! I had to get my new mac sorted,   
> and now it's up and running, and my holidays have just started, so hopefully no more setbacks! 
> 
> Thank you for reading, and enjoy!

Stiles gets up that morning, with Derek close by his side… they haven’t said anything, not after Derek kissed him, but it isn’t awkward, they just aren’t ready to talk about it. So they don’t, they just move on, staying close. “Can you make me breakfast?” Stiles asks, making Derek smile... Derek Hale actually smiles. “Sure, what do you want?” Stiles blushes… “Oatmeal?” Stiles can’t explain why he’s feeling so good, so normal. Like there is nothing wrong, nothing dark and painful and yet he hurts so much he could scream, but it’s suppressed by this tremendous happiness. “You go sit down, and I’ll make you some oatmeal.” Derek’s hand smooth over Stiles’ hair once, and it doesn’t feel strange, it’s loving and gentle… and Stiles can see the black veins pulsing up Derek’s arm, he’s taking Stiles pain. “I didn’t know you could do that…” Stiles wonders, looking amazed, some of the aching is definitely dulled. “Why do you think hurt Beta’s rely on their alphas?” Stiles frowns, he knew that, what Stiles had meant is that he didn’t know Derek could do it to a human, like himself. “Yeah, but… I’m not your beta, I’m not even pack?” Derek looks horrified, taking Stiles by both his shoulders. “You are pack Stiles, you are.” He looks directly into Stiles eyes as he lets them flash red for a few seconds, studying Stiles I his wolf formed eyes. “Am I?” The wonder in Stiles’ voice is always something that’s going to shatter Derek, because it always contains curiosity, awe and disbelief. 

“Of course you are, I only heal pack that means you’re pack.” Derek’s hands move up and holds Stiles by the jaws, pulling him close, for yet another confusing kiss… it’s so emotionally loaded that it makes the air around them thick, and Stiles can’t help himself, it’s small, but yet so audible for Derek’s senses… he moans, just a small groan from the back of his mouth, as Derek’s tongue sweeps over his lip, seeking acceptance. Stiles hands trembles in desperation as he ties his fists to Derek’s clothed back. It’s not a battle for dominance, it’s obvious who’s the dominant one… It’s a battle for recognition, to show what they feel, when they have no way of explaining it, though they have already spoken it. They are broken apart by Dianna bursting in the outer door, luckily she doesn’t catch them. 

“Stiles, what are you doing up so early, couldn’t sleep?” she asks, however her eyes are resting on Derek, she can hear his heart beating quickly, which is unusual for a werewolf to experience, usually the only thing that would affect a strong heart like Derek’s is the worry of the safety of his pack… or love. And she knows which it is, because she had spoken to Peter earlier that morning… they were all fine. “No, I could sleep actually, really well... I feel good!” Stiles sounds ecstatic as he speaks, almost jumping on his feet, and one of his hands flying up and smacking Derek’s bicep. Derek almost jumps, Stiles just had one of his minor tics, twitching. “Good, well, come on, let’s get the eggs and bacon started!” She tries to sound happy for him, but Derek can sense the apprehension, like she’s waiting for him to blow. “I promised I would make oatmeal, so why don’t you go sit down in the living room, and I’ll get started.” Derek holds Stiles shoulder for a second, before shooing them both out of the kitchen. 

“What was his wonder cure for your nightly terrors?” Dianna asks as she sits down, letting her long hair lose, it curls towards the ends and bounces lightly as she settles on the couch. “What do you mean?” Stiles’ curls up, and only then notices that Derek’s leather jacket is not around. “Derek!” he shrieks, and Derek is there, quick enough to make Dianna’s hair sweep with his movement. “What?” he asks, holding Stiles face  
again, so close Stiles can feel him breath. “Jacket, where is it.” Stiles is clutching onto the collar of Derek’s shirt. “It’s upstairs, where it can stay… there is no need for it, I’m here, remember?” Derek leans just a fragment closer, and their noses touch, Stiles vision of Derek blurs out and he can’t focus anymore… Derek really is there. “I’ll be right back, and then you can sit next to me, the jacket can have a well deserved break.” Derek moves back, and winks, it looks good on him, flirting. Or whatever he’s doing. “Can I have a break, too?” Derek wants to throw up, the hope in Stiles voice is too much, but he bites it in and smiles anyhow. “Sure Stiles, lean back and take your time… just be ready for breakfast” he says and returns to the Sheriff’s kitchen. 

“So Derek is the wonder cure?” Dianna asks, not questioning the closeness she just saw, it’s what any alpha would do. She has never been too fond of close alphas, as her alpha never had been good to her. She can’t imagine having someone up in her face, though she understands the need for it. Stiles blushes, to him it’s down right flirting, he doesn’t have the same need as wolfs, his needs are a humans need to be loved. “I don’t know, he’s big, he’s warm and he’s here… what else could I ask for?” Dianna frowns, sure Derek must feel safe for Stiles… But his father is a policeman, with a gun. “I get that, but what are you going to do when he leaves again?” Dianna confronts him. Stiles freezes, is Derek leaving again, when? Why? Isn’t he at least taking Stiles with him? “You know your father won’t let you go with him.” Stiles would have expected himself to get angry, or frustrated and yell at her… But for some reason, he ends up crying, just these small sobs.  
“What did you do!?” Derek yells when he enters the room, hurrying over to Stiles. “I’m just telling him the truth about how you’re leaving soon, Derek.” Derek is furious, Stiles had been doing well, he had been fine until then!

“You watch your mouth Dianna, I brought you here to help him!” Stiles shivers under Derek’s voice, reaching out for him. “Come here.” Derek scoops him up, holding him close to his chest. It’s a bizarre sight, seeing a small teenager hanging around Derek’s chest. Last time Dianna met Derek, he wouldn’t allow anyone to touch him. The same for Stiles, just days previous Stiles would shy away from touch. “I advice you to leave now, Dianna.” Dianna is about to refuse when she sees Derek in wolf form, his eyes red and ears pointed. “Out!” he growls, claws dangerously close to Stiles skin. “I’ll be back in a few hours…” She says silently as she picks up her jacket and leaves. 

“Stiles, breathe… I got you.” Derek changes back to human, holding him as he sits down, Stiles ending up in his lap. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?” Stiles sounds so little when he speaks, like he’s been betrayed. “You know I have to, I can’t leave my pack in London by themselves… But I was hoping I could convince your father to let you come back with me, maybe not this time, but soon.” Derek leans back letting Stiles rest against his chest, stroking his hands through his hair, smoothly, gently. “I want to come with you now, please?” Stiles nuzzles down into Derek’s neck, he can smell him, that earthy smell. “We’ll talk about it.” Derek promises, rocking Stiles gently. Stiles falls asleep, snoring into Derek’s ear, but he doesn’t mind, it’s calming to have him there. 

 

 

Peter frowns, there’s someone at the door. They aren’t expecting someone, they don’t know anyone… “Scott, Artic, are you expecting someone!?” he yells, looking at them as they appear at the top of the stairs. “No?” Isaac whimpers and scurries to stand behind Peter. “Calm down, it’s probably nothing, go upstairs and wait… in the same room.” Peter hands Isaac over to Scott and nods to him, so that he knows not to let go of him, or let him out of his sight. Peter turns back to the door, he can’t smell anything, and that is almost slightly more worrying than it should be… Because he can’t smell anything, no humans, or any supernatural creature he knows of. It’s an empty smell, old… bad.   
He draws his breath slowly, and considers calling Derek first, but if it’s not a human outside, a door is probably not going to stop it. 

When he opens the door, his heart stops… the grinning faces in front of him are familiar, and it’s not good, so not good. “Well hello, Peter…” It’s one of the Hale’s enemy packs, the one Derek in the later years had separated when he killed their alpha, leaving them alpha-less. The worst thing to happen to a beta is for their alpha to be killed. It’s a bit tricky, because if you were born a wolf, the only alpha you can have is one of family, but if you had been bitten, like Isaac, or even Artic, you can turn to a new Alpha, who can choose to accept you. They had been family, born betas and therefor they had only one alpha, they can’t join another pack. “Thom” There’s such bitterness in Peter’s voice, he never thought they would make it. Most of the time, betas that end up in such situations would go animalistic and get killed, or simply die. “Isn’t your darling nephew around?” Thom asks, his two brothers and three cousins stand behind him, supporting him… Peter had been Alpha last time, so their alpha had been killed by Beta Derek. But now Peter stands there, as beta. “Actually he’s not.” Peter doesn’t back down from the doorway, knowing Isaac is upstairs… 

“Well, okay, so the rumor he left is true? That’s good.” Thom laughs, walking up even closer, looking directly into Peter’s eyes, they are standing so close Peter can feel Thom’s breath on his face. “I was only here to get Derek’s kid, the human.” Peter frowns, why would they want Stiles? And how come they knew Derek had left, but not Stiles? “I’m sorry to inform you that the human is currently not around, he is safe, with Derek.” Peter is still baffled as to why they are after Stiles. “You two, inside, make sure he’s telling the truth.” Two of Thom’s company moves to go inside but Peter briefly stops them. “Don’t touch my Isaac, I’ll personally slaughter you.” They push inside, and Peter does nothing to stop them, they are six, he’s one. “So… what do you think of my revenge?” Thom asks, presenting the palms of his hands, as to show it off… But Peter fails to see the revenge of their alpha. “I’d tell you if I knew what you’re on about.” Thom rolls his eyes and leans back on the reeling. “Taking Derek’s human mate, torturing him for a bit, and then ending him… as revenge for Derek killing our alpha.” The words don’t really sink in, why now? Why Stiles? “Derek’s mate?” Peter frowns, he knew Derek liked Stiles and it would definitely destroy him if Stiles got killed… But mates? 

“What a shame Derek and Stiles are not around then…” Peter says, just as he hears Isaac shriek from upstairs. “He’s telling the truth, only pre teen werewolves here… The McCall kid, Peter’s so called Isaac and the filth himself.” Thom growls lightly, looking like he’s just had his last drop of patience taken away from him. “You know filth, your brother is no good either, can’t get his facts right.” Isaac struggles from where the tight grip around his neck is slowing down his breathing, and at the same time he is being guided down the stairs. “So, no human... that changes the plans.” Thom presses the pads of his thumb and index finger to the bridge of his nose. “Alright, here is what’s going to happen.” Thom looks up, pointing at Isaac with a long, bony finger. “You be a good boy and give Derek a message from his dear friend, Thom, tell him that until he hands us his human… we have his uncle, and that if he doesn’t… you’re all dead” Thom looks back to Peter and smiles. “You can come quietly, or we can knock you out, your choice.” Peter turns to look at Isaac, who’s definitely crying… reaching out for Peter, where he’s being held back.   
He smiles sadly as he walks out the door, following the three that are standing behind Thom. “Oh, and make sure to tell him that we will not accept him turning up sacrifice himself, because we want him to live to suffer his loss... like he made us live through killing our alpha.” The smile on Thom’s lips is evil, and ghostlike. 

The door shuts behind the two men that have been restraining Isaac, and Scott is by his side only a second later, Artic close behind. “What did they say, where is Peter?” They had been talking so quietly that Scott literally hadn’t been able to hear them through his, and Artic’s heartbeats. “They took him…” Isaac whimpers, eyes still locked to the point where he last saw Peter, walking away from him. Scott doesn’t know what to say, or do, but Artic is still calm, or trying to be. “We need to call Derek, we need to call him and he needs to get back here right now!” Scott nods, pulling up his phone, he is about to dial when Isaac says something. “He needs to bring Stiles, they want Stiles… That’s the only way to get Peter back.” Scott frowns, he doesn’t understand what Isaac is on about.   
“Sacrifice Stiles, to get Peter back?” Artic asks, like he can’t believe what Isaac just said. “There must be another way, either way we need to call Derek!” Scott presses call. 

Peter is sitting in a car, it’s uncommon for werewolves to pack up like they have and then travel by car. But it was actually wiser, because it would make them harder to track. Thom isn’t one driving the car, and to Peter that is vital information, that means Thom hasn’t become an alpha… An alpha would never let anyone else take the wheel. He still can’t tell why they don’t smell, they must be hiding their scents under something.   
“So, tell me... where did you get your information?” Thom snorts, leaning back and sighing, he actually sounds like he’d rather not talk about it, his bitter determination leveling down. “Artic’s alpha, remember?” Thom laughs evilly, looking directly at Peter. “He was more than keen on helping us really, but it turns out he is just as bad as we thought… can’t even get his facts right.” The werewolf on the other side of Peter chuckles, speaking up. “I tried telling you so… Derek wouldn’t leave without his poppet.” Peter groans, they must be daft. “What I’m trying to ask here is: why do you think Stiles is Derek’s mate?” Thom turns to look at Peter again, raising an eyebrow at him. “Have you seen them, they might not be mated you, but they are mates. Like you, and that thing.” Peter frowns, could it really be true… Derek and Stiles? Maybe they were blinded by the fact that they had known both of them from before they met, and therefor concluding they could hardly stand each other? Peter sworn he would have been able to notice if his nephews mate walked passed him, hell, lived with him! 

“That thing has a name… And I don’t ever want to hear it on your lips!” Peter spits out, growling as he thinks of that precious name being spoken by such filthy lips. “Anyways, we’ll keep you alive till he shows, with or without his mate… the only difference is that if he sends his mate, you’re free… if not, we’ll kill both you, and Derek… and then Artic and McCall, and then, to the very end, after haven watched you all die, and knowing he’s next… I’ll personally give your little boy a night to remember, and then… I’ll kill him too.” Thom threatens as he raises his hand and knocks Peter out with a hit to the back of his neck, before Peter can respond to the vicious words.

Derek smiles as he watches Stiles eat, it had taken him almost an hour to convince Stiles to try some food. And there is his old Stiles, always hungry, eating like a pig. “This is so good.” Stiles mutters between the mouthfuls out oatmeal. “You know, you kept nagging me about how much you hated my oatmeal, but I knew you secretly liked it.” Derek grins, and is baffled as Stiles looks up at him, swallowing to speak. “You know, it’s strange to hear you speak in long sentences, you usually master like three words at the time… unless you’re yelling, then you can fill a book.” Derek snorts, ruffling Stiles hair, awkwardly his hand stays behind a second longer, caressing the locks. 

“We need to talk.” Stiles sighs, putting away his empty bowl on the table, he can’t quite make himself look at Derek as he speaks, the fear or rejection is almost too much. “About what?” Derek knows though, part of it at least… he knows Stiles will fight to be allowed to come back with him, and he knows Stiles probably wants to know what he’ll come back with him as….Friend? Lover? “What are we, Derek?” Stiles asks, looking down at his hands briefly. “What is this?” he waves his hands once, his neck doing one of its awkward tics. Derek sighs, sits down and looks at Stiles… they do that a lot, looking at each other, as if they are trying to read each other, to know what to say next. “We are… undefined.” Derek can’t hold Stiles gaze as disappointment fills his eyes, Derek knows it isn’t what he wants… having Stiles sleep on his chest, and crave his presence like that has made him aware that his feelings, aren’t one sided. However Derek knew that humans are less likely to consider if the relationship is healthy, safe, and for the best. Humans love recklessly, so Derek can’t allow it, not yet. Derek can’t allow Stiles to love him like he wants to. However, before any of them can speak any further, Derek’s phone rings. 

“Hi, Scott” Derek says, still holding onto Stiles’ knee, kneeling on the ground next to him. “Scott, calm down, what did you say?” Derek’s eyes go wild and he gets up from the floor and walks out of the room, not wanting to worry Stiles too much. “What do you mean someone’s taken Peter!?” Derek’s mind is spiraling down into a frenzy, this is what he didn’t want to happen! He should never have left, he should never have sent Stiles away, Stiles should never have gotten hurt! “Thom, Scott are you sure that’s what he said!?” Then he remembers who Thom is, he killed his alpha… But he had been sure Thom had died, Thom had depended on his mental alpha, how could he survive without him? From some points of views, what Derek had put them through was horrid, but their alpha was sickeningly disgusting, biting any human he crossed, trying to grow his pack… He had to be stopped, there was just no way around it. But because Derek was only beta at the time, he couldn’t kill the whole pack, so he killed the alpha himself.   
“What, why would he want Stiles?” Derek’s heart stops, why do they want Stiles? 

Stiles freezes, who wants him, and for what? “What do you mean, who told them that?” Derek enters the room again, looking directly at Stiles, he knows he must have heard some of what they said. He walks over and sits down, practically on Stiles. Derek’s mood changes to a protective one, he pulls Stiles so close to his chest that he can feel Stiles’ heart beat against his own chest. And what about Peter, what if they hurt him? They better not! And now, his pack is alone, without an adult around them.. His pups are vulnerable, he’s littlest cub is without both his alpha, and his mate… Isaac… His priority needs to be all of them. He can’t leave Stiles, but he has to get back to Isaac, and his two other pack members, and he really needs to find Peter… before they hurt him, if they haven’t already. “You just stay right there, don’t go outside! I’ll be back soon as I can” Derek glances down at Stiles and sighs, not knowing what to do. “Scott, keep Isaac calm, do you hear me, we’ll find Peter.” He says before hanging up, he doesn’t know what to do first, he’s just frozen in that spot, with Stiles cradled to his chest. “Derek, what’s going on… where is Peter, who took him?” Derek doesn’t answer at first, just gazes into Stiles’ eyes, his thoughts running wild on him. “Why do they want me?” Derek almost laughs, but it doesn’t sound like he’s happy at all, more like he is losing his mind. The last few years has just been too much for him, he can’t take it anymore… He has just gotten his hopes up that things has settled down, then Artic happened, and then Stiles got hurt, and Derek sent him away… and now this, whatever it is. 

“A beta named Thom, I killed his alpha many years ago… he’s taking his revenge.” Derek leans back, still holding Stiles in his arms, and though the closeness at some points is still awkward to Stiles, because he doesn’t know what they are, like is it Derek’s werewolf counting him as pack, or is it human Derek wanting him close? “But why has he taken Peter, and why does he want me? What have I done?” Stiles asks, Derek is looking right ahead, into the empty air… it’s obvious his mind is elsewhere. “Because they think you’re my mate, they want to kill you… to make me suffer” Derek swallows heavily, and if possible he holds Stiles even tighter, one of his hands finding itself curled into Stiles hair. “What?” Stiles voice trembles, he’s used to being in danger, he has been ever since Scott became a werewolf. But he has never been the target, it had always been Derek, or Peter or werewolves in general... and now it was him. “They found information somewhere, they knew I was away, they just didn’t know you were too... So when they couldn’t find you, they took the next best thing they could think of; My only remaining family.” Derek closes his eyes, leaning his cheek on Stiles forehead. 

“I need to get back there, Stiles, I need to go now.” Derek kisses his hair lightly, before finally letting go of his iron grip on Stiles. But Stiles doesn’t let go, his arms won’t budge. “And I need to come with you, Peter saved my life, on more then one occasion.” Derek can see some of Stiles old sparkle, the life in his eyes… this is what Stiles does, he helps, he is always there…. The smart one, the one that just won’t give up. “Do you really think John will let you go?” Derek asks, opening his laptop, on the search for the next plane tickets back to London. “Do you really think I’ll let you go, without me?” Stiles says, still holding on to Derek’s chest as he taps away on the computer, and just as he enters the number of tickets, Stiles hand shoots in and presses the “2” key. No way Derek is leaving without him, not if the others are in danger… Fuck his nightmares, fuck his nerve wracked mind, he is part of the pack and he needs to help. “Stiles, I can’t just kidnap you.” Derek growls, pushing Stiles hand way and changing the number of tickets. “Don’t leave me, please.” It’s cruel, but it’s necessary, Stiles puts up his puppy eyes on Derek… which really is just him looking directly into Derek’s eyes without hesitation. 

“So what are you going to do Stiles, leave him a note?” Derek asks as Stiles packs down some of his clothes and medication, his laptop and charger. He looks up, sighing. “No, I’ll call dad once the plane is boarded, before we take off, but so close that he can’t call and stop the plane or something.” Stiles sighs, he knows this is so wrong. “Stiles, this is wrong, how can I ever make him trust me now?” Stiles picks up Derek’s leather jacket and puts it on, walking past him out the door. “He doesn’t need to trust you, he needs to trust me. “ Stiles mutter, stepping into his shoes. “Come on, we can’t miss the flight, we need to hurry, use your werewolf speed or something!” 

“How are we going to get there, there’s no buss…” Derek states, once he’s finally out the door too. “You’re driving my jeep, that’s how.” Stiles throws his keys to Derek, getting into the passenger seat. “I never liked this car.” Derek growls, starting it, and the car growls back… If his jeep had feelings, Stiles is certain it wouldn’t like Derek either. “Shut up, get us to the airport.” Stiles picks up his phone and finds Scott’s number… he hasn’t really called Scott, he feels like he let him down, taking away that dream of a perfect college life. They were always supposed to go to college together. He ends up calling Artic… he figures Artic is more neutral at the moment. “Stiles?” Artic’s voice is vaguely bewildered. “Hi, eh…” Stiles looks up at Derek, who is concentrating on the road, though he really doesn’t need to, perfect driver as he is. “Ask if they’re all okay.” Derek guides. “Yeah, right… eh, Derek wants to know if you’re all okay?” It’s awkward to say the least. Artic snorts, and Stiles can hear him walk upstairs… entering what Stiles figures must be Peter’s room. “Are we okay?” he asks. “No.” Scott says, and Isaac shakes his head. 

About an hour and a half later, Stiles makes the dreaded call to his dad. “Hi dad, I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to London with Derek.” He says, before his dad can even greet him back. “I know that is what you want, but Stiles you need to stay at home for a little longer… I’ll keep you till you’re eighteen if I have to.” Stiles sighs, his father isn’t getting the message. “No, dad, what I mean is that I’m going now… we’re boarding the plane, or it’s about to take off, so yeah, sorry.” Stiles bites his lip, waiting for his father to scream in his ear, but the silence that follows is like ten times worse. “I’m sorry dad, but Derek needs to be with the others, there is some minor trouble… I need to be with them, I need you too, and I’ll always come visit.” Stiles promises, and then he says something he and his dad has probably not said to each other since Stiles was six. “I love you dad, please let me do this.” He says, and hangs up just as the lights for their seatbelts to be fastened switches on. 

“How’re you holding up?” Derek asks, looking at Stiles, sitting curled down in his seat, like he might just fall through it. “I don’t like hurting my dad, he’s family… But so is Peter, and you guys.” It warms Derek to know that Stiles include them as his family and knowing how little family Stiles has left, it’s good to know he has a bigger family now, maybe not by blood, but by heart. “I know, but I’m sure he’ll understand.” Derek comforts, though he is really not sure about that at all… for all he knows a patrol of policemen will be waiting at the airport as they land. “Come here, closer to me.” Derek puts his hand over Stiles shoulder, to keep him warm even though the kid is still wearing his leather jacket, and Derek is almost sure there is no chance in hell that he will ever take it back off again… But he somehow doesn’t really mind that, it is nice, that it brings him comfort to wear it. It brings Derek joy to see him wear it. Stiles curls in to Derek’s chest, leaning on him as he tries to get some rest…. And he tries to think about the things that Derek has told him about the man that kidnapped Peter, which wasn’t much. He knows that his name is Thom, Derek had killed his alpha, that was also his brother… his whole pack can’t get a new alpha because they are family, so it doesn’t work, or something like that. However the thing that puzzle him is why they want him. Isn’t Peter a more logical choice, he has been Derek’s alpha, and he is the only remaining blood relative. 

They stay silent for a very long time, just sitting and enjoying each other’s company, and Stiles only feels slightly guilty, as he really just wants the flight to take longer. This is where he belongs, in Derek’s safe grip… he feels more sane than he has in weeks. Derek really doesn’t seem to mind either, his heart slowing down to a dull pumping and his breath turning from shallow and rapid to deep and soothing. Their bodies work like magnets, so that when one moves, the other one follows. Stiles kisses Derek’s neck, after considering not to for the previous ten minutes… considering pros and cons. Derek surly won’t be mad, but what if he got uncomfortable, they were in a not so spacious plane… they couldn’t just walk or move freely. Stiles is sat next to a sleeping old lady, and across the small space in the middle of the plane, a priest is sat… how nice. “Derek, we really need to talk about what we are.” Stiles almost groans, because what are they, ans what can they become? Derek only looks at him briefly. “Not until Peter is home safely and you are out of danger… then we’ll talk.” He says, ending the conversation Stiles wanted to start. 

“But I can still… like... hold you?” Stiles asks, shyly. And he doesn’t know why, it doesn’t really make sense that he would be shy now. “Yes.” Derek declares allowing him to move in closer, as the flight slowly brings them home, to their family, their split family. 

Peter groans, when he first wakes up again he is tied down with ropes, normally a werewolf would be strong enough to fight the rope, but Peter isn’t even trying, there is no point… he just has to wait it out, hoping that Derek will find some way around it, whether that be kill them or just sneak him out. He tries to look around, and even with his good sight it is too dark to make out much… apart from that he is in a closed room with stonewalls. So either a cave, or a basement. He is bound in the middle of the room, so he can’t make out if is house walls or cave walls, but the ground was rough dirt, so he suspects it might be a basement, it isn’t hollow enough to be a cave really. And then again, why would they tie him down in a cave? Peter sighs and leans back, resting on the ground. Thinking about Isaac, hoping he is all right, and that Derek is on his way back, and has Stiles with him. Things needs to settle, and they need Stiles for that… Peter is tired of a long life in danger, conflicts and hiding from his enemies to get a breather. He wants to mate Isaac, properly…. Have him be his, forever. He needs to hold him in his arms again, soon. He won’t really admit it to himself, even though it is painfully obvious, but he has fallen head over heels for him, that little spooked child that Derek had brought home one night. 

Thom walks into the room, Peter recognizes his smell now… so he had hid it, somehow. “So, uncle Peter… I see you have been degraded to something more suitable for you.” He laughs, it only makes Peter roll his eyes. “You’re a beta too, however, you’re not a very good one.” It makes Thom growl in anger, he won’t stand there and listen to that filth speaking down about him. “Shut up, you mix breed.” He spits angrily. “I’m the only one here that’s pure… everyone knew your mother was from a lewd blood line.” Peter argues, it might not be the best idea to anger Thom, but in that moment, Peter doesn’t care. “Shut up about my mother, or I’ll make your time here more miserable than you can imagine!” Peter chuckles and shakes his head. “I watched my family burn, whilst I held Derek back, so he wouldn’t get himself killed… and he has never forgiven me, you should have heard him scream Thom.” Peter pauses looking up at the silhouette of Thom, which is all he can see in the dark… a black outlining of a rabid dog. “So good luck on topping that.” He grits out as he turns his back on the other beta, which amongst them is a sign on disrespect. “I’ll do my very best.” Thom says, storming out the door, which confirms Peter’s worry that he might be in a basement, and since he probably hasn’t touched ground outside… Derek, or anyone else for that matter, might not be able to find him… Which out rules the idea of sneaking him out. But then again, Derek is too much of a proud alpha to do something like that. This will end in a fight. 

Scott paces back and forth in Peter’s room, worrying about him, and Isaac and Derek… and Stiles, oh, how he worries about Stiles. He knows Stiles will be back with Derek, just in a few hours. And it scares the shit out of him, he hasn’t seen Stiles since he left, and after that they have only written a few messages or mails to each other… usually he’d send them and a short answer would follow from Stiles. To get to see him again is strange, and he worries that Stiles thinks he has given up on the dream of them growing old together… not in a romantically way of course. He’s with Artic, where he intends on staying. And Scott has no problem picturing Stiles with old Derek… and Isaac with even older Peter. He wants that, all of them, old together. Artic is sitting on a chair next to the bed, holding a sleeping Isaac’s hand. Isaac is curling into the bed sheets, and drooling down Peter’s pillow. “Do you think he’ll be fine?” Artic asks, looking up at Scott. “Who?” Scott asks. “Eh… well, Peter… But Isaac too I suppose, and Derek… All of us, Do you think we’ll be okay?” Scott smiles at his stuttering boyfriend, sitting down into his lap, Artic is taller then him, but smaller. “Yes, we will be, we always are.” He assures, kissing Artic’s fair skinned temples. 

Scott doesn’t know how much longer he can take waiting for Derek, he wishes Derek had never left, then none of this would have happened. But then again, Derek has Stiles with him…. Things always works out when Stiles is there with his clever mind, for anyone but Stiles himself apparently. Artic has buried his nose in Scott’s neck, enjoying having him near, he feels guilty though, when he looks down on Isaac clinging on to his hand like his life depended on it. He doesn’t know how to make him feel any better, their solution to Isaac feeling bad, or upset… has always been Peter, they would make Peter cheer him up, or just send him to Peter’s lap, and he would be fine. There was no ones lap to send him to now. Just a cold empty bed, the moment Peter was out of sight, Isaac had started looking lost again.


	11. Returning to a broken home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What has Isaac done!?!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAKE SURE TO READ CHAPTER TEN!!!!  
> it used to be a note, but I've edited it so now it's a chapter as well ;)  
> But because I've been away I decided to upload two chapters :)

IMPORTANT: make sure to read chapter ten, the previous chapter!! It used to be a note, but I've edited it!! 

 

Derek parks the car outside, glancing around the area worriedly, telling Stiles to stay in the car until he gets around it to get him. Stiles listens without questioning him for once, by the looks in his eyes, Stiles figures he better not. When Derek opens the door on his side and pulls him into his arms, like a little child, Stiles does complain just a little. “I can walk you know.” Stiles mutters gently, but still curls his legs at the bottom of Derek’s back, hugging his neck. “They wouldn’t dear touch you if you’re in my arms.” Derek states, and Stiles almost believes him, but not really… Translating it from “Derek won’t show any emotions” – language to actual English, it means something along the lines of “I’d don’t want to let you go, in fear of losing you.” Stiles keeps quiet, holding on to him. 

Once the door is locked behind them, everything is far too quiet, there is no sound, that Stiles can hear at least. “They are upstairs, sleeping, let’s go check on them” Derek says, walking up the stairs as silently as he can with Stiles in his arms. Stiles doesn’t say anything when Derek takes off his shoes in the hall and pulling off Stiles’ with one hand, and leaving the leather jacket on him. When they enter the room, Artic is the first one to look up, sitting on a chair next to Isaac sleeping in Peter’s bed. Scott is sitting in Artic’s lap… Looking like he might just die from exhaustion. Derek walks around the bed, gently putting Stiles down on it, stirring Isaac from his sleep. Isaac’s big, baby eyes glance up at him, whimpering. “Come here” Derek lurks his hands under Isaac’s shoulders and pick him up from the bed, pulling his long limbs over Stiles and into his lap as he sits down in the chair on the other side of the bed. “We’ll get him back, they won’t hurt him, that’s their game… Keeping him alive, so that I have reason to make myself vulnerable.” Derek whispers “But they don’t want Peter, they want Stiles” He sobs as Derek pats his back gently, rubbing his palms in Isaac’s neck… Soothing him “What do you suggest we do? Sacrifice Stiles?” He asks, but it’s a warning. Isaac shrinks under Derek’s voice. 

Stiles sits in Peter’s bed, looking at Isaac clinging to Derek’s chest, looking so utterly lost… and he knows the feeling, but at least he knew Derek was safe in London together with his pack. “Stiles!” It’s Scott who wakes, to find Stiles sitting on the bed in front of him…. He throws himself forward onto the bed, hurting Artic’s privates, but takes no mind of it as he literally rubs his nose in Stiles ear. “Okay, that is not a nice feeling… I get the werewolf thing, but not my ears!” Stiles squirms but can’t get out of Scott’s grip on him. “Shut up.” Scott grumbles, settling on top of Stiles, nose nestled at the nape of his neck. “It’s good to see you, buddy.” Stiles says truthfully, earning him a blushing werewolf. “You too, really.” He finally rolls of Stiles’ body and just sits right next to him, hand over his shoulder. “Good to see you too, Artic.” Stiles is hesitant, not knowing completely where they stand with each other… but he is after all, from what Stiles can understand, Scott’s boyfriend. Artic only smiles back, but it’s gentle and welcoming… Stiles can definitely see what Scott sees in him. 

Stiles stays the whole afternoon with Artic and Scott downstairs, watching TV and other things… they don’t do much, just wait, wait for Derek to tell them what to do. But at the time speaking, Derek holds Isaac in his sleep, watching over his weakest link. After all that had happened, one would think Derek considered Stiles the weakest link, but he’s not… It’s Isaac. He might be werewolf, but he is unstable, the limits to what he will do without is impossible to foresee. Derek doesn’t know what to do, where to start looking… They had told him to bring Stiles to them, but if he has to find them as well, he doesn’t know what to do. He has to sort this out quickly, find Peter, kill Thom, keep Stiles safe. 

“Hungry?” Artic asks Scott when his stomach grumbles silently. Scott just sighs and nods, like he’s upset he’s hungry. “We should probably get Isaac and Derek to eat something too.” Artic mumbles, kissing Scott’s temple sweetly. Just at that Stiles notices both of them glancing towards the stairs, and it alerts him that Derek and Isaac is about to come down. He’s learnt it over time, to notice things around him. He might not be able to hear Derek coming himself, but he can see the others hearing it. “I’ll make something to eat.” Derek says groggily, passing Stiles on the way and gently resting a half sleeping Isaac on the couch next to him… And that pack alpha comes through as his hand smooths over Stiles hair. Isaac slides into Stiles’ lap cuddling up to him like a small child, right away. “I’m sorry.” He whispers, looking up at Stiles with such guilty eyes that Stiles almost wants to tell him to not worry about it, even though he doesn’t know why Isaac is apologizing for. “For what?” Stiles asks, he has long gotten over having Isaac or Scott in his lap, they used to do that a lot in the early days…. He used to feel like an abused chew toy. But now it just feels good to have Isaac there. 

“Are you better now?” Isaac asks silently, but the room goes quiet, and Stiles can definitely feel Derek’s eyes on him, boring through his skin. “Yes, all better.” He smiles, but the lie is evident, even for Stiles himself. “Getting there.” He ads, working his shaking fingers through Isaac’s hair gently. “You’re phone is ringing again.” Scott says, picking up Stiles phone and throwing it over, however Stiles is clumsy and fails to catch it. Isaac swiftly snaps it, presses the answer button and pressing it to his ear. “Isaac!” Stiles hisses, it’s his father and Stiles doesn’t want to answer the call “Stiles?” it’s John’s hopeful voice. “Yes dad, hello,” Stiles says, sounding like a child that knows he’s done something wrong. “I just wanted to hear that you had landed safely. Dianna says you aren’t ready to leave yet, but you’ve already left. Just know I’ll keep a close eye on you, and at the first signs of trouble, I’m personally flying over and picking you up.” Stiles swallows, that had to be the longest sentence to ever come out of his father. “I’ll keep in touch, and stay out of trouble… Thank you dad.” Stiles is looking into Isaac eyes, and he motions for him to say goodbye, for some reason he does, they usually just hang up. 

Peter twists in the tight ropes holding him, he knows he can’t have been there long, but his mind is starting to play him tricks... He swears he can smell Isaac near by, he can almost hear him breathe. There is something about having Isaac close that has brought Peter more peace then he has felt in years. Thom enters the room again, walking up without saying anything. “It’s not our intentions to kill you, he doesn’t care enough about you… he’d just work through the grief with his little mate.” Thom pauses looking down on Peter, the larger male is bound down, and Thom can’t help but feel relived that he is. “So… eat up.” Thom puts the plate down on the floor, walking up behind him next. “I’ll only let one of your hands go, and don’t you dare try anything.” Thom says as he cuts on of the ropes, letting lose Peter’s left hand. Turning and leaving the basement quickly.   
Peter sighs, eating slowly, it’s oatmeal, and it reminds him of the kind that Derek would serve him and tell him to shut it and eat. He smiles bitterly. No matter how many problems he and Derek had found themselves in, they somehow always ended up together… and he hoped this time it was for good. He loved his nephew, in ways that were a bit difficult to explain, but it was still… love, as in loving your brother. They had always been more like brothers. He was Derek’s mother’s younger brother, much younger brother… He had been thrilled when Derek had been born, and used to look after him from early on. He had loved every minute. And he knew Derek used to look up to him when he was younger, until he became his own man that be… and they separated on bad terms after their family burned. Now he found himself wondering just how far Derek will go to get him back. He didn’t doubt he would try, but if he failed, or retrieved, would he try again? It is an unnecessary worry, Derek is an alpha, Thom is an abandoned Beta. Derek won’t let a beta steal one of his own. 

“I don’t know what to do, I don’t know where to start looking.” Derek says, looking at Artic… the others have gone upstairs, Scott following Isaac to bed in Peter’s bed. Stiles resting in Derek’s bed and trying to listen in on Derek and Artic, but his hearing is far to poor. So he just lies there, pondering about where Peter might be. “How does he expect you to just figure out where he is?” Artic asks, helping Derek clean after supper. “He is testing my strength.” Derek says, looking over at Artic. “Do you think you can track down your old alpha?” Derek asks, he is the only one of the Hale pack that doesn’t speak of Artic’s old alpha as his family… and Artic is grateful for that, really. “I might know where he could possible be, yeah.” Artic nods, about to ask what Derek would want with him, he had told Derek that they had said that it was he who had told them about Stiles, and Derek’s whereabouts. “You know, I’m sorry Derek… That he did this.” Artic says, pushing some of his dusty, stray strands behind his ears. His hair was the only thing left that looked homeless and abused, but he refuses to change it. “Don’t worry about it, they would have found me eventually, and no matter who they would have taken then, it wouldn’t have mattered, you are all pack… I’ll fight equally hard to get Peter back, as I would to get you, or Stiles back.” Derek doesn’t look at Artic when he speaks, it’s still unfamiliar for him to actually say what he feels. 

“Let’s go looking for him tomorrow, and if we can track him down, trust me I’ll torture him till he speaks.” It’s a warning as well as a promise, but Artic only nods, putting to dish cloth down. “I’ll hold him down if I have to.” He leaves the room, heading upstairs… Derek stays behind and thinks, thinks about Peter being hostage, thinks about Stiles being back, and Isaac being alone, Artic’s old alpha fucking it up for them, and just how exhausted he is. When Derek finally goes to bed, there is nothing he could ever find more satisfying that Stiles is sleeping heavily in his bed, safely. Derek gently tucks the duvet away from under Stiles grip, and eases himself down under it. He can hear how steadily his heart is beating, like a drum, never missing a beat…. And it’s a lovely sound, like a lullaby. Derek is lulled to sleep by Stiles simple existence… 

Isaac knows what he has to do, but it rests on his shoulders so heavily that he can hardly breathe. For him it’s nothing that matters more then getting Peter back, and the things he’s willing to do to accomplish that, is far beyond what he’s comfortable with.  
He sighs, looking over at Scott sleeping behind him, and Artic across the room in a chair. He loves them for staying with him, so to plan something so horrible… is aching inside of him, they will never forgive him, but he needs Peter, he really needs Peter.  
When Derek wakes, it is immediate happiness, Stiles, Stiles is there, right next to him, almost drooling down his shoulder. Id dawns on him thought, that Peter is still missing, and God knows what they are doing to him. He knows they will keep him alive, but at what state will he get him back. He sighs, running one of his rough hands through Stiles’ hair, trying to tame the wild stray locks of hair. He doesn’t really succeed, but he sure feels better, just feeling the soft warmth of Stiles underneath him. He isn’t really happy about having to leave him behind the whole day whilst he, Scott and Artic goes looking for the man that got them into trouble in the first place. He will torture the answers he needs out of him, not matter how much it’ll take… and just to be sure he won’t get them into further problems, once he has his answers, he will kill that bastard on the spot… There is no way he’ll get to live for what he has done to his own pack, or to poor Artic, he doesn’t even know the half of it, but it is evident in Artic’s eyes whenever they mentioned it. It is definitely a sore point for him, to talk about the way he had to live in the past years of his life, well his whole life up until he met Scott… His Scott. 

Derek is quiet whilst making breakfast, now Derek is quiet most of the time, but it is a different kind of quiet, a bad kind. Stiles is watching him, admiring the ease he moves with, how graceful Derek’s muscular body really is. Isaac slumps down beside him after a little while, probably waking up from the smell of food. “Is Artic and Scott still sleeping?” Stiles asks, looking up at Isaac, who shakes his head, his body seeming tense and uptight. “No, they are on their way” he says, smiling… and yet again, it’s uptight. “Are you okay?” Stiles asks, studying Isaac for a second, Isaac only nods shortly and pretends to get distracted by Scott sitting down across from him, followed by Artic. “We’re leaving after breakfast, to find your old alpha… Isaac you’re staying here with Stiles, they wont come here looking for you.” Derek says, turning around and handing them all their plates. 

They eat silently, none of them saying anything… It’s not really because they haven’t got anything to say, something just don’t feel right. Derek is too closed off, Isaac is too uptight, Artic looks tired and Scott confused. Stiles is just at a loss of words, which really isn’t like him, he is the one they would do their best to try to shut up in the mornings.   
Stiles really isn’t hungry, but he figures it might be best if he just eats, so that it’ll be one less thing for Derek to worry about. Honestly when he’s finished the plate, he does feel better… But he knows it’s a long day ahead of them, and he knows that someone could get hurt, or Peter could already be hurt. That is the most difficult thing about the situation they find themselves in, not knowing if Peter is fine. “Why can’t I come?” Isaac asks as the others get ready to leave, Derek looks up at him briefly. “Because at the first chance you had, you would do something stupid and reckless…” Derek walks passed him and over to Stiles. “You two need to stay inside, don’t go out… and don’t get into trouble.” Derek leans forward just a little, not knowing quite what to do… But the chaste kiss that he leaves on Stiles’ forehead is enough, and as he pulls away Stiles looks up at him, sighing. “Just be careful, Isaac is not the only one that would do something stupid and reckless.” Stiles says after him. Derek stops beside Isaac as well, nuzzling by his neck for a second. “We’ll get him back” he promises. 

Stiles sits down on the couch, turning on the television. “Stiles?” Isaac asks, not so timidly anymore. Like he’s settled a bit, Stiles looks up at him, nodding in response. “I know Derek said not to go out, but I really don’t think I can stay here all day and just wait… can we just go out and just hang or something?” Stiles sighs, he knows better then to do something Derek said for them not to do. “I don’t know Isaac, I know it’s hard… But Derek is our alpha, and he said we were to stay here.” Isaac sits down on the other end of the couch, looking like he’d much rather be somewhere else, and he keeps checking his phone, like he is waiting for something or someone. “Are you sure you’re fine, Isaac?” Isaac smiles and nods, getting up from the couch again. He looks nervous, and Stiles can’t help to wonder that there might be more to it then what Isaac lets on. “So, where do you want to go then?” Stiles asks, picking up his phone and his wallet, Isaac smiles and follows him like a happy puppy. “There is this new place I want you to see.” Stiles sighs, he knows that if Derek notices, which he will… They are going to get into so much trouble, and he really wont be in the mood for that if thy haven’t actually found Peter… But Isaac had looked so out of place that he doesn’t know what to do other then to say yes. 

Stiles follows behind Isaac, about to ask how far it’s left when the whole thing starts feeling dodgy, they are at a part of town that Stiles has never been at, and it is far from the apartment, so he starts wondering how on earth he has found the place, and if Derek knows about it…. It seems to be a poorer part of the town as the streets are looking more run down… not by much, but it is noticeably a dodgier part of town. “We’re almost there now” Isaac tries to reassure, but it’s not at all reassuring to be honest, but Stiles smiles and nods, he walks behind Isaac, pulling out his phone and typing out a message whilst glancing up to make sure that Isaac doesn’t catch him. 

“Don’t get pissed off, I’m out with Isaac… he’s acting really weird and he is taking me somewhere strange. I think something is going on… and not anything good.” 

He puts his phone away and walks up to the side of Isaac, smiling to him. “So, what is this place?” he asks, trying to sound like nothings off, Isaac only looks down on him. “It’s a surprise.” Stiles smiles, yeah, that doesn’t sound good at all. They walk down the street and Stiles can see seven men waiting for them, he stops briefly. “Isaac, what is going on?” 

Derek, Scott and Artic hadn’t taken long to find him, and now that he is pushed up against the wall, Derek doesn’t even want to stop to question him, just kill him and get it over with, he doesn’t disserve to live, not after all the things that he has done. “You tell me where they are holding him, right way!” Derek threatens him, cutting off his air supply, his wolfed out form making the hardly breathing man shake violently out of fear. “I don’t know!” he yells, but Derek is not letting go until he gets an answer, and when he does…it’s only so he can give him a little bit of hope before he kills him. “Tell me where they are, and I’ll kill you quickly… don’t, and I’ll torture you, and I’ll let Artic help me decide how long you should suffer…. And how badly I need to hurt you, to make up for all the years you abused him!” Derek is wild with anger, too angry to hear his phone ringing in his pocket. Scott keeps watch; just to make sure that no one walks past and hears or sees anything of the scenario that goes on right before their eyes. Artic is watching, with a mix of thrill and sickness… To see his alpha stand up for him like that, but also to see a member of his family getting threatened to be killed. But Artic knows it’s not only a threat, that shell of a man will be dead once they have the information that they need. 

 

“They are just three blocks down, in that old factory house. They are keeping him in the cellar.” He mutters, trying to catch his breath. An evil grin spreads over Derek’s lips, making him look like something out of the horror movies. “Well thank you for that useful information… Just one little thing though, did you really think I was going to let you off easy?” That’s when Derek really got his claws out and literally tore his face off, before he could even scream, cutting through the main veins down his neck, letting him bleed out down Derek’s hand. “Now you listen to me, that kid over there… you never treated him right, did you?” Derek spits in his face, looking him dead in the eyes as he can see the life draining from them. Normally a werewolf would try to heal himself, but with Derek standing over him like that and preventing him from breathing properly and the fact that the wounds were too deep to be healed easily, makes it impossible for him to heal himself. “All I want before I’m kind enough to let you die, is that you say sorry.” Derek knocks his head against the wall when he makes no sign that he is going to say anything.   
“Sorry…” it’s just a hiss, Derek let’s go and the body of a dead man falls to the ground. 

“Let’s go get Peter.” Derek passes both Artic and Scott as he heads to sort it all out, it’s torn something in him, having to kill again… and the fact that he didn’t really have to kill that monster of a man, and certainly didn’t have to kill him so violently, rests heavily in his chest. And know that at least six men are to come, just makes him want to go mad. But it’s to safe his only family member left, and to keep his pack safe… and Stiles, it’s to keep Stiles, so it needs to be done, and the quicker the better. Artic and Scott follow close behind him, and Derek can hear Artic’s hear beat faster, a lot faster then it usually would, no matter how excited or scared he’d been before. “Derek, I think you got a message whilst you were… you know” Scott says, hinting to Derek’s back pocket, where his phone is. He is really in a hurry to find his uncle, but what if it’s Stiles…

It is… 

 

“Don’t get pissed off, I’m out with Isaac… he’s acting really weird and he is taking me somewhere strange. I think something is going on… and not anything good.”


	12. I will find you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is Isaac doing to Stiles?   
> Would he really let anything happen to his family?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait again, I've been sick for a while now!  
> There's only a few chapters left, waah! 
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy!

Stiles pauses and he can see the guilt build in Isaac’s eyes, he sighs and looks over to the men as well. “I’m sorry, it’s the only way I was able to get Peter away from them.. unharmed.” Stiles frowns, how could Isaac have gotten in touch with them, Scott and Artic had heard the whole conversation, they can’t have been in on this. “They gave me their number, so that Derek could call and find out where they were… But I knew Derek would much rather sacrifice Peter, than you… “ Isaac reaches out for him, but Stiles pulls back, is Isaac really willing to sacrifice him? “I’m so sorry, but I can’t let that happen… I called them, and told them I’d give them you if they returned Peter.” The men standing only meters away from them are coming closer, Stiles doesn’t really consider running or fighting, he won’t get away no matter how tactical he is about it, so he just gives up, in horrid awe that a person he considers his little brother is willing to go against his alpha, and sacrifice a friend. 

“Now you see, the really great thing is that I know Derek will find where we stayed and get your dear Peter, thinking we’re not around… and when he get’s home, little Isaac will be on his own, and claim that you left on your own will, and that that is why you got taken by us .You won’t ever be able to prove him different…” Thom smiles, standing right in front of Stiles now. “Because you’ll be dead before he can even get the scent of you.” He laughs evilly, grinning down at a shivering, small body. Stiles can’t help but to shake, the man is smaller then Derek, and Peter, but he is definitely bigger than himself and Isaac. “I’m sorry, I would never have done it if I could have gotten Peter back any other way.” Isaac whispers, backing away as Thom grabs on to Stiles’ shoulders. “You could have Isaac, Derek would never let anything happen to Peter, you know that!” Stiles yells, the look on his face is heartbreaking enough that Isaac has to turn around and not look. “How could you!?” Thom laughs, reaching a hand around Stiles and covering his mouth as he pulls him with him, over to the car that’s waiting just around the corner. “Oh, yes, pretty little Isaac, how could you!?” Thom mimics whilst grinning madly. “How could you…?” 

Stiles is thrown into one of the cars, Thom jumping in next to him. “So, I’m Thom, thought you should know, since I will be killing you soon enough… just need to get you far enough away so that we won’t be able to smell your blood and find us.” Stiles jumps when his phone calls, and closes his eyes in defeat, now there is no way he’ll be getting away. “Give me that, right now.” Thom says firmly, reaching his flat palm out, when Stiles’ hesitant hand reaches out with his phone clamped in his tight grip, Thom smiles. “So… I don’t know just what it is Derek sees in you, you’re just a weak little thing.” Stiles shivers, Thom is right, he is weak, and stupid. How was he to know he couldn’t trust Isaac, how was he to know that he would get raped, or that over a year of fighting evil would wear you down? How was he to know anything, he was just a pitiful human after all. 

Just as they round a corner, Thom gets out and throws Stiles phone into a dumper, returning quickly. “Just in case he decides to track it, or something, never know how desperate he might get to find you. We just have to make sure that it never happens.”   
Thom hints for the driver to keep going, sighing as he looks back to Stiles. “You know, it’s a shame… I did warn him that I would come back and take revenge for what he did, he should have been able to guess that I would put him through the pain he put us through…” Stiles sniffs gently, trying his best not to cry, there is no way in hell that he will let them see him weak, well weaker. But Thom sees it, and because he is a damned werewolf, he can smell it as well. “Awh, you sweet little thing… don’t be upset, trust me, it’s for the best, your life was only going to go down from here…” Thom chuckles bitterly, patting Stiles knee, making him twitch to get away from the unwelcomed touch. “He would end up hurting you, so you can look at it as a… favour, you don’t even have to repay me anything, I’m feeling generous.” Thom is laughing full on by now, still holding on to Stiles’ leg. Stiles swallows, he doesn’t know what to do, but he knows that Derek will realize that Isaac is lying about him leaving on his own and getting taken, because of the text that he sent. Well, he hopes.

What Stiles doesn’t know is that Thom sent a text before he threw the phone. “Never mind, we went back home, he just needed some air. You go find your uncle.” So that is exactly what Derek does, not knowing any better, because just like Stiles he had no reason not to trust Isaac and believe Stiles’ word. Derek, Artic and Scott are getting close, and Derek almost wants to tell them to hurry, but he knows that there is nothing he can do about the fact that he is faster than them. When they finally reach the building Derek can smell him, and he can smell blood, it makes him growl in anger, if they have hurt him, there was no way he was going to kill them quick and painless. But the thing is that Derek can’t smell any of them, Thom isn’t around. “Hold on…” Derek stops Artic from continuing, there is something wrong, there must be.   
“Thom isn’t here… its empty, apart from Peter.” Scott and Artic send each other looks. “When they turned up at the door, their scents were masked, that’s the only reason Peter opened the door before getting a hold of you…” Derek frowns, werewolves masking their scent is a great display of weakness and fear. “Scott behind me, Artic, on the left.” 

However when they enter, it is actually empty, they slowly move through the house and there is no one there, no one in any of the floors, in any of the rooms…. There isn’t even a trace of them, no scent left behind, nothing. Derek is walking in front of his betas now, keeping them very close just in case. “Why’re they not here?” Scott asks as they move towards the basement… “I don’t know, but something is definitely wrong, unless they are all down there with Peter.” Derek considers if he should make them stay behind, or if that would be even more dangerous, he can’t risk not being there to protect them so he just ushers them to move after him as they try to move quietly down the old stairs.   
“Derek, just get your ass down here, they’re gone!” Peter yells once he recognize his nephew’s scent, at that Derek launches into the room, looking around quickly, and they’re actually not there. 

“Where are they?” Derek asks, his eyes finding his uncle sitting bound in the middle of the room, chained so that he can’t move. “I don’t know, they really weren’t generous with the facts… They just said they’d be leaving, to get you.” Derek freezes, looking at Peter. “But Stiles is back, Stiles is there, alone!” he yells, turning in the door and barging out. Scott and Artic are about to follow when they remember Peter. “Oh, how kind of you…” He mumbles insulted as they work on getting him free, Scott rolls his eyes. “You know he’s just worried about Stiles, but apparently he was out with Isaac, they are probably just fine.” Artic helps Peter back up on his legs, supporting him for the first few steps. “We need to get going, they might come back.” Scott warns as they head out the door quickly.   
When Derek barges in the door he finds Isaac standing in the middle of the room, looking absolutely lost. “Where is he!?” Derek yells, storming up to him whilst grabbing on to him and shaking him. “Isaac, where is he!” It’s not really a question anymore, it’s a demand for an answer. “They took him…” he mutters, shrinking under Derek’s intense eyes, he doesn’t know what to do, lying to Derek is one of the most difficult things to do. But Isaac manages, he has to. However he knows that if Peter ever asks him, he might break within seconds. “Why did you go outside, you were supposed to stay here!” Derek snarls, pushing Isaac up against the wall and moving one of his hands to hold tightly under Isaac’s jaw. Isaac struggles to breath for a few seconds before someone is grabbing on to Derek’s hands. “Let him go, you know it wasn’t his fault.” It’s Peter, Isaac’s whole world goes to a stop as he sees a messy, dirty and very tired Peter standing in front of him and pulling Derek away. 

Isaac sobs, he can’t help it… all his worries about what will happen to Stiles, and what if Derek finds out what he did, they just disappear, because Peter is there… alive.  
“Peter!” he throws himself at him, holding on to him so tightly his shoulders hurt and he can hardly breathe at all. The warmth radiating of off him is almost not to believe, and it’s the only thing keeping Isaac from breaking down in guilt. He knows what will happen to Stiles, he knows they will kill him, he just can’t help but to wonder if they’ll make him suffer or not. But from what he had learnt about Thom, he figured they would… Just to make it worse for Derek, to know that not only is his mate dead, he died painfully, whilst being tortured by Derek’s enemies… Because he had been stupid enough to let them live, instead of killing them all when he could. “I’m here, I’m back now… You just tell me what happened.” Peter whispers into Isaac’s ear, rocking their bodies gently, to try calm him down. Isaac whimpers, not wanting to lie to Peter, he wasn’t even sure that he could lie. “They took him” he stutters, it’s the truth, just not the whole truth. Peter turns and briefly looks at Derek. “Who took him, was it Thom or Rex?” He asks, Isaac frowns, he hasn’t heard the name of Artic’ brother before. “It was Thom, he was there with them… They let me go.” Isaac sobs, not daring to turn around and face Derek again. 

Hours later and Derek still doesn’t know what to do, he can’t give up, but Isaac said they had taken him away in a car, just right outside the house, but traffic would have covered those tracks ages ago. Scott and Artic sit together on the couch, Scott not able to breathe and Artic still having torn feelings about his brother dying. The only one that isn’t completely devastated is Isaac, curled up on Peter’s chest. He’s just resting there, enjoying the feeling of Peter breathing, and just having his smell so close to himself, warmth moving between their bodies. Peter however looks pretty worn down, dusty and cold, but he holds Isaac near anyways, knowing he needs to be held. “I just had him back, he was just here!” Derek bursts out, getting up from his chair, his fingers curl into shaking fists, threatening to punch something. “This is why I didn’t want him to be here, something always happens to him, he doesn’t deserve this… And I fail him over and over again, this should never have happened!” Derek can’t stop himself from turning, his wolf sneaking up on him, claws piercing through the skin of his palms and teeth protruding in his mouth. 

“I have Thom’s number.” Isaac says, putting a small piece of paper on the table before curling right back into Peter’s neck. His happiness of having Peter back is overshadowed by the regret of having them all worry about Stiles, including himself. He isn’t evil, he didn’t want it to happen like that, and now that he has done it, he feels more so bad he can hardly keep from telling them that he had let them take Stiles… Not only let the take him, but lead him to them. Derek frowns for a second, just looking at the piece of paper like it’s something he just can’t believe, and he can’t. Why would he have the number, and why hadn’t he given it to them earlier? When did he get it? “What do you mean you have their number!?” he sneers, walking over and snatching it, looking at the numbers written down neatly. “Eh, I forgot I had it… They gave it to me when they took him, I’m not sure why.” Isaac shivers lightly, even the small lies, or half-truths, as he’ll call them to keep himself from breaking, are taking their toll on him. He hadn’t forgotten about the piece of paper, it had been in his pocket all since Thom had handed it to him after taking Peter… It had literally been burning a hole in his skin. Peter holds him closely, stroking a hand through his hair gently, pulling his lightly coloured hair. 

Derek walks out of the room, holding on to the note so firmly the paper almost rips under his fingers. Picking up his phone and trying to type in the number with his clawed fingers, he can’t control it anymore, his anchor is taken… Stiles is his anchor, the only thing keeping him from turning on full moons, but now he’s gone, it isn’t full moon, but he still can’t control himself… he’d gotten used to not having an anchor for years, so the relief of suddenly having someone was so mayor, that he didn’t even have to try anymore… for as long as he knew Stiles was fine during full moon, he could control it. Stiles doesn’t know he was Derek’s anchor, and he has been ever since the first time he ran into him in the woods, it was that exact moment Derek knew Stiles would be important to him, Stiles was his. 

When the phone finally picks up the call and he can hear the buzzing tone, he breathes out heavily. “Come on, pick up you coward!” he shouts, he knows it’s of no use… He is not going to find Stiles in time, and this time, it will cost Stiles his life. Derek will fail to protect him yet again, first his innocence, and then his life, Derek doesn’t know if he will be able to live knowing he has broken someone, and then taken his life. And all simply because he’s a shitty alpha, he should have never made a pack. But in a way he never did, it created itself. Peter was family, he fucked up with Isaac and Scott… with Scott came Stiles, they just happened, like faith. When the phone finally picked up, Derek doesn’t know what to say, he never begs, he’s Derek Hale. But he would beg for Stiles, whatever it takes… even if it is his life, he knows Peter will take care of the others, they might not have an alpha any longer, but what kind of alpha would he be if he didn’t have Stiles? 

“So… Want him back yet?” Thom laughs from the other side of the phone, looking over at Stiles, who’s sitting completely still, not daring to move. “Give him back, or I’ll make you regret ever showing up here.” Derek says, sounding as calm as only Derek can, but the coldness resting in his voice is evident enough to make Thom uncomfortable. “How are you going to do that, you don’t honestly think I’ll be staying around after I get rid of your little toy?” Thom rolls his eyes, underestimating just who he is dealing with, and just what lengths Derek will go to get Stiles back. “I won’t even stop hunting you, you can never settle, never have a life… and when I do find you, trust me I’ll make you cry like little child!” Derek’s alpha voice breaks through, and he might not be Thom’s alpha, but Thom has to move the phone away from his ear and take a deep breath before answering. “What difference will it make to you, he’ll still be dead.” Thom says, hanging up and looking over at Stiles. 

Derek let’s the phone fall from his hand and smash onto the floor, it doesn’t break, but the battery jumps across the room… He doesn’t care, he is no closer to finding Stiles, and he can’t even call the police, they could risk getting figured out, people shouldn’t know about werewolves and other supernatural beings, no matter the cost… That is what Derek is raised to believe, to withhold. But at that moment, it’s the last thing that matters, he’ll risk anything for Stiles. But now that he doesn’t even know where he might be, there is no point. It’s up to him to find Stiles he needs to find Stiles. He just had him back, Stiles had just gotten home, and he’s gone, taken… Stolen. 

“Derek?” It’s Isaac, with Peter standing behind him in the door. “Will he be okay?” Isaac asks, he really needs to know that Derek can find him… but parts of Isaac also fears that if they actually find Stiles, alive, bad things will happen to him. Isaac can even imagine what they would do to him, if they found out he was the one that literally handed Stiles over and left him for dead. Derek will definitely not keep him in the pack, and Peter would probably hate him enough to leave him and stay with the pack. And Scott, Scott would never forgive him for giving up his best friend… Isaac is screwed no matter what he does. Either Stiles will be dead and things will never be the same again, or Stiles will be found alive… and things will never be the same. Derek might lose a pack member either way. Well he wouldn’t lose Isaac, he would kick him out… Maybe even kill him? The thought of Derek killing him, is scaring enough to make Isaac flinch at just the possibility. 

“I don’t know where to look… and chances are that if I find him, he won’t even be alive.” Derek says, sitting down on his bed, well his legs give in, offering him no other choice than to sit down. “How did I fail him this badly?” Derek asks himself, Peter grabs on to Isaac’s shoulder and pulling him out of the room. “Why don’t you go to bed, I’ll be right after you.” He ushers Isaac to leave him alone with Derek for a second, once he is gone, Peter doesn’t know what to say, there’s really not much he can say to make anything better… Because chances are that Derek will be right, they might not ever see Stiles alive again. He can understand the pain it must be causing Derek as Stiles’ alpha, to know that he failed Stiles… twice. “Derek, you can’t give up yet, Stiles deserves that you don’t stop until you’ve found him.” Peter says, and a bitter laugh leaves Derek before he looks up to meet his uncle’s eyes. “And what use is it to find him… he will be dead, he might already be dead!” Derek shouts, his fists tightening again. 

“He still deserves to be found!” Peter yells back, looking at his nephew with disbelief… he deserves the respect to be buried back in Beacon Hills, his father deserves to get his son back. Dead or alive.” Peter walks out of the room, shutting the doors with force and leaving Derek alone, in a dark, empty room. Derek shuts his eyes tightly, trying to stop himself from crying… he can’t cry, not before he has Stiles back, alive. The night falls over Derek, and he is still at a loss of what do to… what is he supposed to do, he doesn’t know where to look, there is no one to ask. He is all on his own with this, it’s all on his shoulders… Stiles’ life is on his shoulders, and the weight is wearing him down. 

Scott is twisting around in his and Artic’s bed, the thought of going to sleep, knowing that Stiles is out there somewhere, is bizarre. And even worse is the fact that they can’t be sure he is even alive anymore. But he refuses to conclude anything else than him being alive, until they find him otherwise. But he feels like they should be out looking, Derek should be doing something… He knows that Derek doesn’t know where to look, but they should at least just look somewhere, anywhere! “Try to get some sleep, I know this sucks… But if you get enough rest, it’ll be easier to go looking in the morning.” Artic hushes, spooning up against Scott’s back. “No matter what happens, I’ll be here… we’ll get though this.” Artic says, cuddling into his neck. Artic doesn’t know what to do, he’s been starting to feel like pack, but once Stiles is back in the picture he doesn’t know where he belongs, he hasn’t had a long time to get to know Stiles, and the little he has gotten to learn is that he ought to be careful around him, or Derek will decapitate him. It’s his boyfriend’s best mate, he has to do something, seeing the people that took him in and accepted him like part of the pack, hurting like that? It is absolute pain. Artic makes sure to stay up until he can hear Scott sleeping heavily, only then does he sneak out of the bed quickly, trying not to make too much sound. 

Once he’s downstairs he picks up his phone and goes outside… he hopes to God he hasn’t woken anyone up, he needs to make a call to his brothers, the ones that left him behind. “Pick up the phone” he begs as the buzz tone goes on longer than it should, maybe they are just sleeping, or maybe they actually have left him for good? Then his heart skips a beat, someone answers the phone. “Artic?” It’s the younger of his three brothers, well two… considering one is dead. “Remi?” Artic is almost thrilled, the fact that they had left him fades for a second. “Oh, thank god… we haven’t been able to find Rex anywhere, we thought he might have hurt you!” Artic’s smile falls at that, they knew he has hurt him for several years. “You know he’s been hurting me for years… Anyways, he’s dead. My new alpha killed him.” Artic says, sitting down on the stairs, looking up at the star filled sky above him. “Rex is dead?” Remi asks, and the phone goes silent for a while, until his other brother speaks. “Are you sure?” Artic smiles, flashes of Derek killing Rex appear in his head. “Yes, I’m sure Alec.” Artic says. “I saw it.” 

Artic spends the next minutes explaining what happened, and tells about his new alpha, Derek Hale, and his boyfriend Scott. He’s on speaker so they both hear him and shoot in additional questions, mainly about Derek. “Is he nice to you?” “Does he treat you right?” “Do you listen to him?” Artic tells them yes, Derek is the good kind of alpha, the good kind of leader. Then he tells about Stiles, what’s happened. “So, the real reason I’m calling, is to see if you remember this Thom person… Rex worked for him apparently.” Alec and Remi don’t answer for a while, the silence roams between them. “You’re sure it’s the same Thom?” Remi asks Alec, Alec takes a second to answer “I’m sure… Rex only worked with one man named Thom, but I hoped that scumbag was long gone.” Artic lights up, they know him, maybe they know where they can look for him. 

“Artic?” It’s Derek, he has been so concentrated on the conversation that he hadn’t heard him coming out. “Derek!” he jumps up, this is not good, what if they don’t know, he doesn’t want to disappoint, he doesn’t want to give Derek false hope that there is a chance they might find Stiles. Wether it be dead or alive. “I’m just talking to someone, I’ll be right inside” His voice is frantic, but the look on Derek’ face means that he is not going anywhere until Artic is inside with him. “I told you all to stay close, going outside on your own, in the middle of the night… is not staying close.” Derek sounds empty, hollow. “I’m sorry… I just had to call my brothers, because I think Rex might have worked with Thom.” Derek studies Artic’s smaller posture, he has really grown after he became a part of the pack, but he’s still just skin and bones in comparison to werewolves his age. Derek steps behind Artic and gently nudges him to go inside again. “I didn’t want to wake anyone.” Artic explains. “You didn’t consider that this information might be of importance for me?” Derek leans up against the kitchen counter as Artic sits down by the kitchen table. “I didn’t want to give anyone false hope, they might not know anything.” That’s when Alec speaks up again, his voice is loud. “Put us on speaker.” It’s really not necessary, Derek can still hear them, but it’s just easier to hold a conversation when no one has to strain to listen in. Once Alec is on speaker, he starts talking. “I don’t know much about Thom, I know I’d rather he be dead.” There is a short pause before Remi takes the word. “Rex used to work with him a lot a few years back, but then he disappeared. He was one of the mot unstable werewolves I have ever met, his alpha was killed.” Derek sighs, sitting down across from Artic, who is looking down at his hands. “I know, I killed their alpha… he was also better dead, I was young and did the mistake of underestimating Thom, so I let him live.” Derek continues slowly, the anger builds in him as he yet again beats himself up for not killing Thom the first chance he had. “But what is it you want to know about Thom, that you don’t already know?” Remi asks, his voice is much lighter and finer then Alec’s voice, it used to be the only thing to sooth Artic when he was a child. “Where he stays, or where the left overs of his pack has spent time in the last years.” Alec answers next. “They weren’t very sharing with facts, but they stayed across town when Rex worked with them first, in the old abandoned building, I don’t know where it was, but it was an old school.” Remi hums in agreement. “It’s just at the edge of town I think, really old… hasn’t been used for ages.” 

Derek looks up, information on where to look first, he knows where to look now, he knows what to do. They might not find him, he might not be there, but he could be there. “Thank you” Derek gets up, he needs to consult this with Peter, and they need to get moving. “No problem, oh and… Thank you, for taking Artic in.” Remi says, sounding ashamed, it had always been his job to take care of Artic. Alec would protect them from Rex, and Remi would take care of Artic when Alec couldn’t stop Rex. “Someone had to.” Derek says, before disappearing up the stairs. “Well he’s talkative.” Alec says sarcastically. Artic snorts in laughter, the whole situation is messed up, and he is just so confused… will things ever settle, this is as good as his life has ever been, and yet something always goes wrong around him. “He’s under a lot of pressure, Stiles is his… something.” He explains, picking up the phone and turning it off of speaker. “He’s always right on and direct, there is seldom any sweet talk. But it’s good, I feel good here, safe. “ Artic sweeps his long, sandy hair behind his ears. 

Between them, Artic and Alec share looks, whilst Remi resembles Rex more… And still he manages to look the opposite; he looks kind, and warm. With his dark hair, pale skin and brown eyes. Alec and Artic are the opposite of their other two brothers, with sandy hair darker skin and blue eyes. It’s always bothered Remi that he looks like Rex, but now there is no more Rex… It’s only them. “I miss you.” Artic admits, almost blushing, it’s not something he’d usually admit, but Scott has been big on admitting feelings thing. Remi is the one that answers, he sounds s little saddened. “We miss you too, maybe when you find your friend again, we can meet up?” Artic smiles, yeah, he’d like meeting them again. “That sounds good, I’ll call and tell you how things go.” He says, before hanging up. No matter how much he tries he’s never good at goodbyes, not even if he is just hanging up the phone. 

 

Stiles groans, when he wakes he is tied up, left in the corner of a room. Around him are old, small desks and chairs, the kind you’d find in primary school. He frowns, why would they leave him in a school building, but at second glance, dust is piling up on the floor and spider webs falls from the chairs and down on the desks…. The school is probably not in use, even better he is left in an abandoned building. Stiles hair is sticking to his head, he doesn’t remember it getting wet, but his jumper is also slightly damp. “If I was you, I’d stay right there and stop looking for ways to get out, you’re not going anywhere, ever… This is the last place you’ll ever see, so take it in whilst you can.” It’s not Thom, it’s one of the others, he’s sitting on a chair right across the room, it’s so dark that Stiles hasn’t been able to spot him. “Why am I here, what did I do?” Stiles asks, his voice shivers lightly, he’s cold… so cold his mouth is dry and his lips are numb. “But that’s just the thing, kiddo, you didn’t do anything… Derek did, and this is our way to punish him for taking something that was ours!” Stiles lets out a breathy sob, he just can’t help it, it’s not fair, he hasn’t done anything, he never did! And yet he ends up getting raped in a back ally of London, drugged down and abused… Only to come back and get kidnapped, and he knows what they are going to do, they’ll kill him. And in some ways, he almost doesn’t mind… Anything is better than being in the situation he was in, and everything that has happened to him, it’s just too much… he can’t breathe, it‘s like he is drowning. 

The man across the room just grins when he sees the tears that’s staining Stiles’ face, he doesn’t say anything else though, just sits there, watching Stiles fall apart. He doesn’t mind dying, he really doesn’t at that point, something inside of him even tells him it might be for the best for everyone else if he just disappears. But he wants Derek, he wants Derek to be there, though it’s selfish, but he just doesn’t want to die alone. He would have wanted his father, but he knows he wouldn’t be able to deal with seeing his son dying, not after his wife… But it can’t be any easier for Derek, who’s watched his entire family burn. He doesn’t want to die alone. Stiles sniffs lightly and exhales deeply, trying to settle his pulse, he can hear his blood rushing through his body, and the beats of his heart thumps quickly behind his ear. “Derek doesn’t need me, you know… you could have taken Peter, he’s family… or Isaac, Derek’s the one who changed him. You could have taken anyone!” It ends in a frustrated cry, not that he wanted them to take anyone else, it’s just too much to bear that it’s always him, every time. “We could… But we took the one he chose to love, Peter is family, he has to. Isaac is his own blood too, in a way, same with Scott. Artic is of no use for us, and we promised Rex not to hurt him. Now that he’s dead though, but still... He chose to have you around, and lets be honest, anyone can see him drooling after you.” His words fly around in the room for ages, Stiles never responds, his mind can’t stop replaying it. “He chose you.” 

Stiles just sits there, for hours, just waiting. He wonders if Derek is even looking for him, or just assuming that he is already dead. And he wonders why Thom is risking Derek finding them before he kills Stiles, wouldn’t it just be easier to do it right away? What are they waiting for, is it to torture him further, make him anticipate it? Can’t they just get over with it, waiting around like that and just picturing Derek and the pack looking for him, is actually heart breaking, he doesn’t like the thought of them looking and maybe finding him right after they finally kill him or something… For Derek to find him freshly dead, it’s his worst fear at the moment.


	13. Sweet torture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will Thom do to Stiles?   
> How will Isaac cope?   
> pain, all pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the wait again, I've been so hyped about the teen wolf starting again!   
> And as always I'm sick, but getting better so here we go! 
> 
> Enjoy!

Derek doesn’t think, he just barges in the door, scaring Isaac so much he almost falls out of bed, the only thing saving him being Peter’s arms around him. “I might know where to look.” He says, not paying any attention to Isaac, which might be a good thing, because Isaac is trying his best to regain his breath. He thought for sure that Derek somehow has figured out what he’s done to Stiles. But Derek looking so positive about knowing where to look, still means that he will get busted, there is no way Stiles won’t tell, because Derek would sure ask. The only way he’ll ever get away from what he did, is if Stiles dies, and that option isn’t any better. The room is silent, Peter is too shocked to actually say something, the news just slowly falling in as he tightly holds on to Isaac’s spooked body. “How did you figure it out?” he asks, Derek just waves his hand and walks out of the room, shouting for Peter to follow him. Isaac also skitters along with them, and Scott stumbles out of his room, looking rather bewildered. 

“Artic called his brothers, and it turns out they might know where Thom could be keeping Stiles.” Derek explains, running around the kitchen and making oatmeal… Scott wants to say something like; are you really making oatmeal, when they know where to look for Stiles. “The thing is, I don’t exactly know where that place is… it’s an abandoned school at the edge of town, possible a bit outside.” Derek speaks quickly, which isn’t like him. Scott walks up behind Artic and whispers down into his ear. “Are you okay?” Artic nods and smiles gently, he knows he shouldn’t feel as happy as he does, but he has really missed his brothers more then he thought he had. But just hearing their voices again, it had been amazing. “Hey, Artic, Stiles told me you’re good with computers, maybe you can try to find it?” Scott asks, loud enough for everyone to hear. “I can’t promise anything, but I’ll look.” Artic says as he gets up to go get the computer he uses for school. 

It takes him only fifteen minutes to find three possible schools, Derek is frustrated, it had to be more then one possible place to look. He doesn’t know what to do, he wants to be the one to find him, he needs to be the one to find him, it’s his fault Stiles is missing. But it would be quicker if they separated and went to each their school. “He is most likely here though…” Artic says, pointing to one of the school on the map that he has up on his computer. “Why do you think so?” Scott asks. “It’s the one that has been abandoned for the longest.” Derek leans over his shoulder and reads the address. “Peter, you take Scott with you and go to the other school, I don’t think this one is likely.” He says and points at the third one. “Too many people still live close to it.” He says, picking up his phone. “I’m going to take the other school.” He’s almost out the door before anyone can say anything. “Maybe you shouldn’t go on your own, I’m not of much help, but I can come with you.” Artic says, putting away the computer after printing the two maps. “Then who is going to stay here with Isaac?” Peter asks. Isaac clears his throat. “They didn’t take me last time, so… I’m safe here on my own. I’ll just stay inside, if I’m not allowed to come with you.” Derek considers it for a moment. “Promise me to stay inside! Artic come with me.” He’s out the door quickly with Artic following close behind. 

It’s complete silence in the car as Derek drives as quickly as he can, without risking getting caught by the police for speeding. His heart rate keeps skipping and jumping, going way too fast for his liking. It had taken him some time to control himself last time he lost it… He just needs to get Stiles back, that’s his first priority, but still he’s also nervous about leaving Isaac behind, and letting Peter and Scott go by themselves, he shouldn’t put himself in a situation where he separates himself from the others.   
But like he said, and like the others understood, getting Stiles back is number one on the list. Artic keeps looking over at him, trying to be discreet about it, but Derek can feel every time his eyes lands on Derek, studying him, like he doesn’t quite trust him… And to be fair, at that point Derek doesn’t even trust himself, not to make dissections and certainly not to drive a car. “Derek, I didn’t really get to know Stiles like the rest of you know him, I mean I haven’t been around for that long… But I can see he matters, like a lot for you. All of you. So maybe you should try to calm down and not crash the car, it doesn’t help if we die too.” For a beta to tell his alpha to calm down, is not something that’s common, certainly not for Artic in particular. “He might already be dead.” Derek mutters, the one hand holding the wheel tightening noticeably. The other hand is tightly resting halfway over his mouth. 

Isaac goes up to his and Peter’s room reclining down on to the bed and pulling the duvet on top of himself. He knows that this is his last moments of normal life, either Stiles is dead, or he isn’t and Isaac will be in for real trouble. He really hopes they find Stiles, it hadn’t taken long for Isaac to regret what he’s done. But there is no changing it now, he can’t go back in time and make it right. Isaac thinks back to the first night he crawled into bed with Peter. 

“Isaac opens the door, so quietly that it’s almost not audible for a human, for Peter however, he heard Isaac get out of bed across the hall. “What do you want, Isaac?” he asks, just as a loud hit of thunder and lightning lights the room up and makes that rumbling sound that Peter finds quite soothing. Isaac on the other hand almost jumps out of his own skin, his heart speeding up and making him swallow nervously. “Nothing, just…” he stammers, grasping on to the door like he fears the whole ground is going to dissolve under him. “You good?” Peter questions, sitting up slightly against the headboard of the bed. “Not really.” Isaac whimpers as lightning flashes through the room, throwing long shadows and blinding light. “A werewolf that’s scared of thunder… that’s just great.” Peter rolls his eyes, though secretly he finds is adorable. “I’m not…. It’s just…” Isaac is literally on the verge of crying, he doesn’t really know why he figured going to Peter would help, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to Derek, and he is too scared to stay in his own bed, all alone. “Come here then, scared puppies get to sleep on the bed.” Peter teases, he doesn’t foresee what happens next though, a thunder rumbles heavily outside just as Isaac makes a move towards the bed, making him jump in fear again. Isaac jumps into Peter’s bed and on top of the his chest, like a whimpering mess, clutching tightly on to Peter’s muscular shoulders.

Peter’s eyes widen in partial shock, but he grabs a hold of Isaac’s neck, pushing his head under his own chin as he leans back and just sits there, holding him. “You know it’s not going to hurt you, I’m more likely to hurt you.” Peter tries, giving up to the urge to run his hands through Isaac’s hair, it’s so soft. Isaac melts when Peter’s warm fingers run through his hair, again and again. “I don’t like it, it’s so loud I can’t hear anything, and so bright I can’t see… I just don’t like being alone, because I can’t be on guard if two of my senses are useless.” Isaac explains, suddenly feeling sleepy, now that he feels safe. “Lets go to bed, I’ll keep my guard on… under the duvet now.” Isaac crawls quickly under it and sighs happily at the heat that fills him immediately. “Sleep now, I promise you’re safe, I’ll keep you safe.” Peter kisses his hair once, he can get used to this.”  
“So my favourite part is here… You’ve waited long enough now, let’s get started.” Thom walks into the room, smiling broadly, carrying a knife in his hand, waving it around slightly. “So tell me, how does it feel to be loved, to have an alpha? I seem to have forgotten!” he spits, grasping on to the ropes that hold Stiles to the wall, he unfastens them from the loop they run through, but they are still attached to Stiles hands. He jolts the rope and lifts Stiles with it, Stiles has to scream in pain as his hands are twisted behind his back, creating unbearable pressure on his shoulder joints. “That’s it, scream a little for me.” Thom growls in Stiles ear as he pushes Stiles down onto a table, pulling him down by the ropes. “Stay still, and maybe I won’t hurt you just yet.” He whispers, with the knife placed to Stiles neck, he whimpers, it’s a small pathetic sound, but he is just so scared, he can hardly breathe. It dawns on Stiles that they are not going to let him off easily, they’re going to make him look like hell, so that when Derek finds him… He’ll know for sure Stiles suffered. 

When both his hands are tied to each corner of the table, and one of his legs tied to the bottom corner of the table, Thom pauses for a while. “I like seeing them struggle, so I always leave one leg free.” He winks, turning around and picking up the knife he had left on one of the smaller desks. “You know, I’m considering how long I can wait before Derek turns up here, it’s much more fun if he’s just minutes too late to save you” Thom lets the knife scrape up the table top, leaving a long cut in the wood, going from Stiles’ knee to his navel. The sound cringes in his ears, making him panic, pulling the ropes desperately, it chafes against his wrist, breaking his skin, but he can’t stop pulling, he has to get away, he can’t take more pain, he can’t take being used again. “Please!” it’s a pleading cry. He can’t help it, the fear of being cut into, by what looks to be a dull knife… It’s just too much, Stiles just can’t handle things anymore. “Please…” it’s just a small prayer that they’ll let him go. But why would they, they wants to hurt him, so that they can hurt Derek the way he has hurt them. But the difference is that their alpha had to die, Stiles hasn’t done anything to disserve what is happening to him. 

When he feels it, he’s sure, he’d rather just die right there, it isn’t worth it… Even if he by some miracle survives, he can’t imagine living to remember the pain. Thom’s knife just thinly pierces his skin, tear it slowly with its dull edge. He screams out, fighting against the ropes, kicking his free leg into the table, trying to shy the knife. But he can’t escape it, the pain, he can’t get away from it, no matter how much he tries. Thom just moves the blade after the side of his chest as he moves, and if he then moves back towards the knife, it’ll only go deeper. But he can’t help moving, he can’t stop trying to escape it. His screams fill the room for the following minutes, and the louder they get, the more Thom smiles. He has several deep cuts down his sides, they bleed and colour his shirt in a deep, blushing red. 

Derek is driving quickly, they are closing in, they’re so close. “What if he isn’t there?” Artic asks, he knows he shouldn’t ask, but they have to consider the possibility that he is actually not there… and that even if he is, they might be too late to save him. Derek glances over at him, moving so that both his hands are on the steering wheel. “He has to be there” Derek says, not opening for any other possibility. Artic sighs, this could go so wrong. He can’t imagine what Derek would do if they didn’t find him, or if worse, they found him dead. Derek would lose his mind, and Artic figures he’ll probably do something stupid. 

It is torturing Derek on the inside that he can’t get there quicker, and that there’s no certainty that they will actually find him there, dead or alive. Derek knows Peter is right, that he disserves to be found, wether he is dead or not… But for Derek it’s not an option, he can’t find him dead, Stiles just can’t be dead. Derek won’t accept Stiles being dead, he had promised to take care of him, it has been his job the second Stiles turned up in his life. Derek’s heart speeds off when he sees the school building just within reach, he looks over to see Artic taking off his seat belt and getting ready to run, he never put his on. “You stay behind me, they might be there.” Derek warns as the car makes a sudden turn to get into the car park that’s just in front of the entry hall of the school. “Sure.” Artic mumbles as he holds on to the car door, so that he doesn’t end up in Derek’s lap. They both register the sound of Derek’s breaks screaming. 

However the sound is taken over by something else screaming… Stiles, it’s Stiles. “Derek!?” Artic tries getting his attention, sounding rather desperate. Derek is frozen in his seat, the scream halting him in his move. It’s like something clench around his heart and rip it out, that sound, that God-awful sound. “DEREK!” Artic tries to get through, but Derek can’t move, he doesn’t notice that tears slips form his eyes… they just keeps on going, the scream, it never stops inside of his head. The only other time he can remember someone screaming like that, was when his family were burnt alive, and it’s like standing there all over again, helpless. He can almost feel the warmth from the flames that night, and he can feel Peter holding him back, he just can’t move. It’s the scream of someone dying. Stiles is dying, tortured to beyond. “Derek, please!” Artic keeps shaking his shoulder, not knowing what to do. Derek has always been so determined, Artic has never seen him even hesitate, so to see him freeze up like that, it’s intimidating. Stiles is still screaming, they can both hear him, his voice is wrecked, but still so loud, and pained. 

It’s all too slowly when Derek finally moves, his claws appear and his teeth snap out just as he growls, it’s an alphas growl making Artic shrinks down into his seat. Derek is out the door and on the move before Artic can even draw a breath, he gathers himself quickly and gets out of he car too. Derek has just reached the door to the old building, he stops briefly as the door is open, considering the possibility that it might be a trap for him to step into. There are scents of werewolves he can’t remember, which means that Thom might have gathered more men to stand with him, more rogue werewolves. They are the worst kind, unstable, unreadable and unpredictable. Artic catches up with him, stopping right by his side, slightly behind him. “Go back to the car Artic…” Derek’s large hand pushes at his chest, to push him away. Derek can’t risk taking him with, he knows nothing of Artic’s skill to protect himself. Yet another thing proving that Derek shouldn’t be alpha, for all he knows Artic can’t kill a fly. 

“You can’t go on your own…” Artic stutters, stumbling in his own legs as he get’s pushed. He is also in wolf form now, and eager to help, used to having to protect himself. “I can’t risking losing anyone, these werewolves aren’t like normal pack wolfs… They have no leader, and a bad leader is better then no leader.” Derek steps inside and looks around briefly, they are not near the entry… So Derek continues, aware of the fact that Artic is indeed still following him. “Stay close, and if I tell you to run, you better run.” Derek moves quickly, swiftly. 

Peter and Scott are still driving, they had to go through the trouble of renting a car, because Derek only has one car, and they always figured that one was enough. That might have to change though, now that the pack had grown to a number that can’t actually fit in one car, and they have actually gotten into a situation where it was necessary to split up. It had been thoughtless of them to think they’d always be in one group. “Was it bad?” Scott asks, he doesn’t usually start longer conversations with Peter, they don’t have a good past to base it on. “What?” Peter wonders, trying to maintain the speed limit without losing his temper at how slow the car seems to be moving. He knows Stiles is probably not there, but they have to check, and the sooner the better. “Thom, was he bad?” Peter sees where Scott is going, what he’s really asking is if Peter thinks Thom will hurt Stiles. “Not to me, well apart from tying me down in a basement and leaving me there for you to find, whilst he kidnapped your best friend… and scared the life out of my… Isaac.” Scott has to smile. “Your Isaac?” It has to be the only time he has seen Peter blush, and it’ll probably be the last as well. 

“But you think he’d hurt Stiles?” Peter sighs, they all know it’s Thom’s intentions to kill Stiles, but the chances of Thom being cruel enough to let Stiles go through hell first, are big. Derek didn’t torture their alpha when he killed him, but obviously Thom would like Derek to hurt more then he did, to get back at him. “Yeah, I think he would.” Scott doesn’t answer after that, to imagine his best friend, whom he shared his earliest memories with, and his best memories with, being tortured… It makes him want to be sick, and mainly because it’s his fault for including Stiles in everything, not considering what it might do to him. Scott has his supernatural strength to relay on, Stiles has nothing but them, and they have all failed him… again. He knows it is Derek’s main job, to make sure that his pack is safe, but they are also supposed to support their weakest. Stiles is human, they should all have been protecting him from the very start. Instead they had let him go about and play tough and missed all the signs of him struggling. 

“We’ll find him.” Peter promises, but it goes unsaid that they all know, they might not find him alive. They still have a few minutes left to reach the school building when Peter’s phone goes off, it’s Isaac. “Hi…” His voice is so small, and he sounds like he’s about to cry, and he is. “Isaac, is something wrong?” Peter asks, feeling his heart speed up, Isaac shouldn’t be alone, they have yet again overlooked one of the weakest… Isaac might be strong for his size and age, humanly speaking, but he is frail against any grown werewolf. “Everything is fine, I just wanted to talk to you.” Isaac is curled up in their bed, holding the tears back, he has to say it, he can’t just sit there and wait for them to find it out. “I did something stupid Peter.” He whispers, sobbing lightly as it dawns on him what he is about to say. “What did you do, what did you do Isaac?” Peter fears what he might be about to hear, Isaac sounds in pain, and Peter is worried he might have hurt himself. “I gave Stiles to Thom, to get you back.” Isaac is full on crying, and Peter is completely frozen, he knows Scott heard what Isaac had said, and he too is frozen in his seat. “They were going to kill you, they were going to get their hands on Stiles anyways, you’d both be dead!” Isaac whines, it’s no excuse, but he has no better reason for what he did. 

“Isaac, tell me once more… Because I refuse to believe what you just said.” Peter says calmly, looking over at Scott, his face filled with disbelief. “I gave him to Thom, I made him go outside with me… Knowing where Thom would be, and I just let them take him.” It hurts more the second time around, and he really can’t believe what he’s done… Stiles has been nothing but good to him, nothing but supportive of him and Peter, and Isaac had sacrificed him in a heartbeat. “Isaac…” Peter’s voice dies out, he hangs up and puts the phone away… It might be the only time Scott will see him cry as well, angry tears track down Peter’s face as they drive in silence, none of them knowing what to say, or do. 

“We’ll see how things turn out… If we find Stiles alive, he might tell Derek, and there is nothing we can do about that. If he is found dead…” Peter stops, it’ll be Isaac’s fault and they’ll have to live with knowing that, and keeping it from Derek. “We don’t say anything.” Scott supplies, keeping his eyes on the road. He’d taken Isaac in when Derek kicked him out, he’d stayed with him when he was scared, he had taken him with when he didn’t want to be alone. Isaac was his little brother, his little brother who might have cost his best friends life. Scott can’t breath through the bitterness that has filled the air around them. The alternative would be Peter dead… but he doubts they would have gotten a hold of Stiles, so it was one or the other. And at that point, it seems like it will be Stiles. 

“There it is!” Scott shouts, pointing to an old building at the end of the road, it’s still close to population and people frequently pass the building… So the possibility of them actually being there is slim, but they have to check, they can’t afford not looking. “What ever happens, you stay close… we can’t afford losing anyone today, not you, not Isaac and certainly not Stiles.” Peter says as he parks the car and practically rips of his seat belt. Scott has never really liked getting ordered around by Peter, but if he hadn’t been there now, Scott doesn’t think he would have been able to breathe. “Do you really think we’ll find him in time?” Peter looks at him for what feels like ages, and Scott can see the emotions passing through he eyes, Peter doesn’t think they’ll find him in time. “We might, Thom can’t have considered that Artic’s brothers knew where they used to stay.” Peter pauses for a while. “I hope.” They both get out of the car and head towards the building, Scott always a step behind Peter, almost walking in his feet, but Peter doesn’t mention it. 

“I don’t think anyone has been here for a long time, but we should probably break in and check anyways.” Scott says, they stand outside, the whole place looks completely abandoned. “We should hurry though, if he isn’t here we should get going to the third school, just in case, unless we hear something from Derek of Artic.” Peter says, it only takes one kick to open the door, and luckily for them there is no alarm. “You stay at this floor, I’ll just check the cellar.” Peter is gone from Scott’s side and Scott can hear him disappearing down some stairs somewhere. He wolfs out and starts looking for any signs of life… or death. He is in some ways pleased when neither of them actually find something. He would never have been able to live with himself if he found Stiles dead, tortured and gone. He still can’t believe that they are looking for Stiles, again. This time with no certain hope of finding him alive. “Are you alright?” Peter asks as they sit silently in the car for a moment. Scott doesn’t know what to say, because he is definitely not alright. Scott watches the sun fall towards the horizon, reminding them all that time is running away from them and Stiles will probably be dead very soon, if not already. 

 

Derek and Artic have been running around for what feels like ages, listening to the sounds of Stiles screaming, the problem is that the building is mainly made out of bricks, and it makes an echo that confuses their senses, and partially masks Stiles scent. They must have passed the same rooms at least a couple of times, every time they think they’re close, an echo closes in from somewhere else, making them alter their direction.   
“Do you think they picked this place on purpose?” Artic pants as he’s trying to keep up with Derek in his alpha form, it has crossed Derek’s mind that they might have… But if that’s the fact, it might all be some kind of a trap for him to step into. “Let’s hope it’s a coincident.” Derek bites out as yet another echo alerts them where Stiles might be “Stop, just stop.” Derek stands completely still, just concentrating on where Stiles might be… It shouldn’t be so hard to track them down, but the brick walls create a distraction for both their smell and Stiles’ scream. A normal person might have found it easier to find him, because their hearing is so poor they wouldn’t be able to hear the echoes that well, and out from that find them. Derek however is helpless against the echoes…. They should have had Stiles, their human. They need Stiles, and Derek knows it, it’s just not fair, because he is not a good enough alpha to take care of something as frail as a human… Something as frail as Stiles. Stiles is amongst the strongest human Derek has ever met, and he has broken him. Permanently. 

Artic shivers at the sound of a new scream, it’s definitely from the opposite direction from which they’ve been running. “This isn’t working, I he was definitely over there!” Artic sounds so desperate as they both look like they want to run in each their direction. “Let’s just try to follow it.” Derek says, out of options… It’s an excruciating pain inside of him, knowing that Stiles is just so close, and they are to invalid to find them. “At least we know he is still alive.” At least Artic still has hope enough to find something positive in the hopeless situation they’re caught in. 

Stiles screams again, at the top of his lounges, he doesn’t know how much longer he can stand the pain, how much longer he can stay awake… Deep inside he knows that feeling of falling asleep, is the life seeping out of his body. Something inside of him just wants to keep on fighting, like he knows that somehow someone is going to save him… It’s like he can feel Derek, that warm safe feeling, that’s Derek… or maybe it’s just the inviting heat of death, maybe he is just that relived to die, to know that he doesn’t have to keep on breathing. “That’s it… little one, keep on screaming” Thom whispers down into his ear, the more pain he conflicts on the human beneath him, the more the hatred inside of him just grows to a big claw of anger inside his heart. He watched his alpha die at the hands of Derek Hale, why should Derek deserve to feel any less pain than him? Why should Derek get to live on in his perfect life, with his pathetic human mate? Derek should have just killed him. Stiles shivers violently, his body is tired, straining against the ropes. Stiles has lost his voice to the point to where he can’t talk, just scream… But those are the only words he has to give. 

There are several deep, long cut’s down his chest, his thighs, his sides… They’re everywhere. Searing pain runs through his body, he doesn’t know what to do anymore, he can’t get away from it, he can’t escape it. Thom enjoys it though, watching his skin part and his red flesh appear in a pool of blood. “You know, I don’t even need to do anything fancy… this knife is enough to torture you, how pathetic humans are so weak.” Thom laughs evilly, putting the knife down momentarily. One of the other Betas walk in, signalling for Thom to come over, and be quiet. “Derek is here, in the building” Thom’s eyes widen, he didn’t think Derek would actually find them. Thom turns, studying Stiles for a second “We have to kill him right away, I don’t think we can get out of here without Derek finding us… we might have to fight him.” Thom’s hands are almost shivering, Derek isn’t supposed to be here yet, how could he have found them so quickly? “Artic’s with him, but they are confused by the walls, echoes are going around like mad… “ Thom nods, that is good. Maybe if they just keep him screaming, they can get out in time. “Let’s get on with it then.” Thom turns back to Stiles, putting up an evil smile, not letting him get the impression that he is in any ways scared of Derek. “So, this is it then… sadly I don’t get the joy to torture you any longer, I would have hoped for another hour, so that I could make you look real bad.” Stiles sobs, hyperventilating… air just doesn’t get past his throat, it’s swollen, sore and constricting him.

Stiles hair is matted down to his skin, his body going into shock and sending him into weaves of cold sweating. His eyes are sunken in and blue bags circle them, making him look already dead. His lips have gone pale, and his skin has turned a sickening tone of grey. “Derek!” He screams his name, he heard them mention Derek, he is sure he heard them said he is in the building… Derek is here, he’s so close to being saved, if Derek could just hurry a little, he would be safe. “DEREK!” He finds strength to yell, he finds will to fight again, but it’s cut short by Thom slashing after him with his knife, tearing the skin under his left eye. His voice crumbles under the pain again, and he is left there, breathless and wordless. Pain, it’s only pain surrounding him. Everything around him is pain to him, Thom, Thom is pain. 

Derek falters when Stiles voice hits him like boiling water, Stiles is calling his name, Stiles is calling out for him. “Derek, we have to hurry, they’ve probably figured out we’re here!” Artic is at the verge of tears as he pulls at Derek’s arm, trying to get him to hurry up. “This way!” Derek sets of down the hall, but not so quickly Artic can’t follow close at his side, if it is a trap, he has to be able to protect him. When they reach the end of the hall, they are met by several doors to abandoned classrooms, one looking more worn down then the other. Behind one of them, is Stiles. They both turn in their skin when they hear a small whimper from behind them, the half open door… Derek has found Stiles, alive, Stiles is still alive. Barging in the door, he is met with a sight he never wants to have to see again, but he’ll never be able to forget it.


	14. Hold on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will they be able to save Stiles?   
> Will Derek forgive himself?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the long wait again, just remember that the story is finished so no need to worry about it not being completed,   
> It will be! and It will be SOON! 
> 
> I'm going away for about two-three days from tuesday, but I'll bring my mac and read through some chapters so that I can upload right away when I get back! Because that's what taking time, me having to read through and correct as much as I can! 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading, and enjoy!

Thom spins around, holding a knife to Stiles’ throat… it’s the only insurance he has, it’s the only thing keeping Derek from jumping on him and killing him right there. The downside to it is that Stiles is dying, he can’t use him as insurance for long, because soon he’ll be dead, and there will be nothing stopping Derek from attacking him… But there he stands, facing Derek, for the first time since he watched him rip his alpha’s heart out.  
“So, Derek… fancy meeting you again.” He winks, putting up a vary grin. Stiles shivers in his hands, trying to get away from him. But Stiles is still tied up to the table, still held down by Thom. “Let him go.” Derek says, his voice is thick, thick with anger, thick with bitterness. “So, I’ve hit a sore spot… Good.” Thom laughs, it’s what he wanted all along, he wanted to hurt Derek, no matter the cost… he realizes at that point, that it’ll probably cost him his life. “He hasn’t done anything…you’re alpha was a monster.” Derek doesn’t dare move, and he has a hand on Artic’s chest, holding him back in case he is up to something. “He was my alpha! I don’t have an alpha anymore, you took my life away!” Thom shouts, pressing the knife firmer to Stiles brittle skin. 

“Stiles is human, he can’t protect himself!” Derek insists, he can’t look at Stiles again, if he does, he might just fall apart. One look at the boy and he wishes it was him there on the table, slashed open and wounded. Stiles’ heavy panting is loud and wheezing... Derek can even hear his heart faltering, he knows what is close to happening if he doesn’t do anything soon. Stiles is dying, Stiles is just meters away from him… dying. “You should have thought of that when you let me live!” Thom cries out, his hands are shaking, causing the blade to rip at Stiles skin, piercing it thinly. “Derek” It’s the smallest whisper from Stiles, but it pulls in his heart, makes his mind go blank with panic. “Move one inch, and I’ll behead you!” Derek roars, moving forward quickly, only to be attacked from his side. Artic falls to the ground as two other betas tackle his legs under him. 

Derek claws after the man that jumped him, turning his back to the next attacker that get’s his teeth deeply impaled in Derek’s shoulder, making him howl. Twisting around he grasps a hold of the Beta’s neck, snapping it with the force of his grip. The feeling is horrendous, bones crushing under his fingers, blood seeping over his skin, pulsing out from the open wound. He has to take his eyes off Stiles to turn to Artic, rip one of the betas off him by his shoulders. Throwing him off he grabs hold of Artic, pulling him up to his feet again, shielding him from the attackers. It doesn’t take Derek too long to have killed them off, snapping their necks, or cutting their throats. He doesn’t like it, killing, it isn’t in his blood anymore. Vengeance was always his only reason to kill, and venging Stiles should be enough to make him want to kill anyone who ever hurt him. But Stiles has changed him, Scott has changed him… always trying to find a way to save the most people, and killing the least. With dead werewolves lying at his feet, and Artic standing behind him, clutching his wounded side, Derek turns back to Stiles… Nothing will stop him from getting to Stiles now, not even Thom. 

“Unless you want to end up like the rest, I advice you to let go of him right now…” Derek warns, he steps forward, his claws still on display. Thom is openly shivering now, he had just watched the rest of his pack get killed, and this time it’s not anger building in him, it’s fear… Fear of Derek’s wrath. 

“Let’s make a deal, I go free, and you get the kid, unharmed.” Thom still has the old blade at Stiles throat, but Stiles isn’t fighting anymore, he is unconscious… Artic can’t help noticing how peaceful Stiles looks, like he is just having the best dream, and is cuddled up warm and safe. “Unharmed!?” Derek spits, they’re only feet apart now. “Don’t you think it’s a little late for unharmed!?” Thom drops the knife, the whole room shakes under Derek’s voice, eyes flashing red and his from roaring over Thom has him fleeing the room. To his surprise, Derek doesn’t follow. Derek moves to Stiles, grabbing a hold of his cheeks, holding it so gently. “Stiles, wake up” It’s a pleading…. Artic is there within seconds, pulling at the ropes to get him loose, they need to get him to someone who can help him. But for some reason, both of them know that going to the hospital will to them no good, police would find the bodies with canines and claws… “I’ll call my brother” Artic’s brother, Remi, has more then once patched up both him and Alec. Derek doesn’t react, he just lifts Stiles lifeless body into his arms, holding him as close as he possible can, making a move for the door. Derek is crying… His shoulders are shaking, but his face stays in the bitter mask he has learnt to put on. 

Peter and Scott turn up at the school where Artic and Derek are, they haven’t heard anything from them, and when they weren’t able to get a hold of them over phone, they started getting worried and decided to seek them up. When they both get out of the car, it’s obvious that something is going on, someone is jumping out from the window, and even though they only see him from a distance… Peter immediately recognizes him as Thom, scurrying away from the place. “Scott, stay behind me.” Scott nods, staying one step behind him, usually he would protest being told what to do by Peter, considering he isn’t the alpha… But at that point, behind Peter, is exactly where he wants to be.   
Peter leads them towards Thom, trying not to get noticed by him, surprise is their strongest chance. Apart from the fact that they are two, against one… And Peter is by far much stronger than Thom. Still though, Thom had turned out to be quite sly, but not on his own. Peter figures Thom ran, leaving the rest of the pack to Derek’s ire. Thom is vulnerable alone, not though like he played to be when surrounded by other Betas. 

“So… Taking a stroll, are we?” Peter asks, making a nervous Thom, jump. Peter smiles evilly, this is payback… For taking him hostage, for turning Isaac into something he isn’t, and endangering Stiles’ life. Peter’s eyes turn a piercing blue as he stares Thom down, Thom in his pitiful state. Hair loosened from its small ponytail, hanging into his face, the dusty colour apparent in the slight, looming dusk. “Derek just let me go… we had a deal!” He answers, panicked. “You might have had a deal with Derek, but you don’t have a deal with me.” Peter growls, stepping forward as Thom steps back. “I can just call, and someone will kill Stiles!” Thom tries to warn, but the lie is obvious, his heart beating hastily, revealing the already busted lie. “I think you can call all you want…” Scott spits, he is usually one to try to prevent things like this from happening, but for the first time in his life, since he became a werewolf, his eyes are locked on someone he doesn’t mind dying. He’d normally find some reason not to kill, it doesn’t always out weight the reasons they should end them, but it always felt better knowing that there were reasons to reconsider it. It gives him hope… But not for Thom, Thom needs to die.

“Please, I’m all alone… isn’t that punishment enough?” Thom begs, falling to his knees, looking up into strident blue eyes, and blazing golden ones. “No, I think you deserve some pain, and then I will be kind enough to kill you, consider it… a favour.” Peter spits, raising his hand to lash out at him, Thom shrinks under his hand, shielding his face.   
A last dribble of blood leaves Thom’s mouth as Derek and Artic appears in the doorway, Derek carrying a very lifeless Stiles, whilst looking rather lifeless himself. Artic is slightly limping behind Derek, exhaustion is evident in his posture as he sags against the frame, his eyes meeting with Scott’s. “Stiles!” Scott runs, almost toppling over and crashing into Derek, his heart calms when he sees the pulse point under Stiles neck still pulsing… It’s weak, Stiles heart is beating so weakly. “We need to get moving, Remi is on his way.” Artic takes a hold of Scott’s shoulder, pulling at it, Scott however doesn’t follow, he ends up clinging to Artic as if he is the only thing keeping him alive. “Come on, we don’t have time!” Peter says, snatching Derek’s keys from his pocket and heading towards his car, he doesn’t care about the rental car, they’ll just get it later, “Scott, jump in the back with Derek.” Derek doesn’t say anything, letting Peter take the lead, he doesn’t think he would be able to breathe if it wasn’t for the fact that Stiles is still breathing. 

Derek is leaning against the door, Stiles lying in his lap, his head resting on Derek’s shoulder. Derek nuzzles down into his neck, breathing him in, needing him more then oxygen. “Will he make it?” Scott asks, having Stiles’ legs inn his lap, holding on to them tightly. “I don’t know.” Derek’s eyes are closed, but Scott can still see the tears that fall slowly, soaking into Stiles’ jumper…. Which is really one of Derek’s old ones that was just lying around in the car. Peter is driving well over the speed limit, but Derek doesn’t say anything, nobody does. Peter has to hurry, because he can hear Derek crying, and if there is one thing he can’t stand, it’s Derek crying. Stiles has to live, no matter what it’ll mean for Isaac. Peter might be family, but if Derek doesn’t want him around, Peter will go with him. Knowing well that Derek will be fine if Stiles survives, they just have to get back, and get him fixed up. 

Stiles can’t feel anything, and he doesn’t even know if he is dead or alive, he knows he is something… He feels warm, for the first time in ages, Stiles feels warm again. He feels something warm flowing down his shoulder, little does he know it’s mix of Derek’s silent, breathy sobs, and salty tears. But Stiles can’t feel anything, he doesn’t feel fear, he doesn’t feel pain… he doesn’t feel anything, but if he could, he would be happy, happy he couldn’t feel anything. It’s like… heaven. He can breathe again, everything is just a very welcoming black and shades of grey. Stiles doesn’t know he is safe, he doesn’t know he is being held by the person he has wanted to hold him from the start. He doesn’t know they are all there… The only thing he knows, is the darkness around him, he knows the silence, and he knows the peace that aches through him. 

Derek feels a whole lot of things, but mainly, he just feels desperation. He can’t lose Stiles, he can’t. He wouldn’t know how to breathe, he wouldn’t know how to live. He never admitted it to himself, but he needs Stiles, and he has for a long time. He isn’t sure exactly when that need turned into love, but he loves Stiles. He knows that for sure now, but it angers him that it had to take so much for him to realize. Did Stiles really have to almost die, for him to realize? He should have given in to the feeling, than he probably wouldn’t be sitting where he is now. With a bleeding, dying Stiles… Derek can feel Stiles blood dripping down onto him, and it makes him want to be sick. “Drive faster Peter.” Derek says, his voice is strangely calm, it makes the three other wolfs shiver with displeasure. He doesn’t answer, but the car steadily speeds up… 

 

Remi and Alec receive another call from their little brother, and Remi just knows it’s bad. He wouldn’t have called so quickly if everything was fine, the kid had to be hurt. It makes Alec shiver with anger to know that Thom, whom Rex had worked with for so long, would hurt a child like that. Rex wasn’t really any better, but there was just something mental about Thom… Something evil. “Hello?” Remi as already put him on speaker, putting the phone down on the table. “We need your help, Thom has hurt Stiles… like really badly” There is a pause and Alec can hear his younger brother trying to keep it together. “He’s bleeding, a lot.” Remi looks up at Alec, to find him looking back at him… Anger building in his eyes, he nods one time before getting up, going to find supplies. “Tell me the address, we’ll be on our way.” Remi promises, haven picked up the phone and started putting on his shoes. “Tell me how bad it is, in what is he hurt?” Remi investigates, heading out the door, knowing Alec would follow shortly. 

“It doesn’t sound good…” Remi mumbles, Alec sighs, he holding around Remi’s waist.   
They’re standing in a buss, so as it moves they sway slowly, Alec with his usual protective mode, doesn’t even trust Remi to stand on his own. Obviously Remi wouldn’t fall, he’s a werewolf… great balance. Alec has been carrying the worst kind of weight on his shoulders, they had left Artic. They had left their little brother behind, in the hands of their cruel alpha. But somehow, now, it didn’t feel too bad. Knowing that Derek has been good to him, been a good alpha for him… Protecting him when they couldn’t. “Let’s just hope he’ll survive, Artic doesn’t need yet an unsteady home.” Alec tightens his grip, he’s uneasy about the fact that they are going to an alphas home. He’s not too fond of alphas anymore, good or bad. He doesn’t like the power they have, because it can be used so easily. 

Derek looks down on Stiles, he’s head is resting on Derek’s shoulder… Derek can feel him drifting away, he is already unconscious. His body is going cold, but somehow his heart is still beating, not so strongly, but it’s still going. The tighter Derek holds on the faster Stiles heartbeats, stronger. Derek keeps pulling pain out of Stiles’ body, but it’s taking much of his own strength, there is so much pain. Black venomous pain oozes up Derek’s arms from where they hold at Stiles’ chest, just above his heart. “We’re almost there. “ Peter alerts as they’re only meters away from the house. They can see two shades standing outside, Artic recognises the smaller form of his brother Remi, and the much lager one of Alec. “His heart is still beating, but that’s the only sign of life… He is cold, and he is unconscious.” Derek whispers, more to himself then to anyone else. He is nosing down into Stiles hair, it’s grown so much longer, it used to be that adorable buzz cut, but now it’s long and wild. It suits him. 

Peter is out the door almost before the car has stopped, opening the door for Derek, so that he doesn’t have to let go of Stile in order to get out. “Remi!” Artic is also out, running up to his two brothers, it’s a bitter feeling, being reunited with your family, whilst an other part of your family is possible dying if not already dead. “Artic.” Remi enfolds him tightly, and Alec grabs him by the neck and kisses his cheek. “We need to hurry.” Alec warns Remi as they see a large alpha male, presumably Derek, carrying a very wounded human. “Come inside.” It’s the older beta behind Derek speaking, leading them up the stairs to the house. Where suddenly, a mush slimmer, concerned looking beta shows up, pulling open the door, right in front of his alpha, shivering under him momentarily before he backs out of the way. “Calm down Isaac.” It’s the first thing they hear Derek say.   
Peter and Isaac’s eyes meet, but Peter doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t know what to say… He can only hope that Derek will forgive him, and see it from his side. But Peter knows deep down that Derek wouldn’t want to forgive someone who almost cost Stiles’ life. They all watch as Derek places Stiles gently down onto the counter top, seeing how gently he puts Stiles’ head down, in fear of hurting him further. It’s agony, to see Derek so close to losing someone so important to him, knowing it wasn’t long since he lost almost his entire family. Remi hesitates to walk over, Derek is obviously a strong alpha, he wouldn’t want to get on his bad side, Alec is standing slightly in front of him, also keeping a watchful eye on the alpha. The worst kind of alpha to be around is a protective one with a wounded pack member. One like Derek. 

“It’s okay” Artic grabs Remi’s hand and pulls him forward, until he is right behind Derek… Derek doesn’t move, his eyes flinch away from Stiles. “Help him.” It’s silent, it’s vulnerable. Alec is the first one to move, walking around the counter, standing opposite to Derek, his eyes rest on Derek, but his hands move down to Stiles’ body. “Remi, help me stop him from bleeding out.” Alec says, taking his eyes off of Derek and down to Stiles, once he sees that Derek doesn’t mind them touching Stiles. Remi get’s working, pulling jeans down, looking at the long slash in his leg. “He’s lost a lot of blood already.” Remi mumbles. 

It takes them almost two hours to stich every wound on Stiles’ body, they had a real scare when Stiles heart faltered and almost stopped. Derek hadn’t moved, he was still looking down on Stiles and holding his hand in his own. “Is he going to make it?” Isaac asks from where he is hiding behind Peter, they’re sitting on the couch, watching from afar. “I don’t know, he is very weakened… He hasn’t showed any signs of life, obviously he is tired, but he didn’t even flinch when we stitched him.” Alec says, washing his hands free from blood, Remi is still by Stiles’ side, checking regularly that his pulse doesn’t weakened. They can all hear his heart, but when they’re that close it’s hard to hear weather or not it’s beating too weakly. Isaac sighs, Peter can feel him go warm against his neck, like he is straining not to break down. Scott looks over from where he is placed next to Artic, holding his hand tightly. 

It’s night, and the house has fallen silent. Stiles is placed gently on the couch, and Derek is sat at the floor, by his upper chest. Artic and Scott has gone to bed, Remi and Alec sharing what used to be Stiles’ bed. Isaac and Peter have also turned in, after Derek insisted they get some sleep. He wants to be alone with Stiles, he has so much he needs to say, and it was somehow much easier to say it, knowing Stiles can’t respond. He doesn’t even know if Stiles can hear him, he probably can’t… But Derek needs to say it anyways, he needs for it to be said. “I love you, Stiles.” It’s only a whisper, but to Derek, it feels like he is screaming it. It’ so loud inside of him, it burns.   
“You speak too much, you have too much energy and your small antics… They used to be what I lived for.” Derek smiles, he actually smiles, remembering all the small, little tics Stiles used to get. “That changed though, and I know it is my fault… I didn’t take good enough care of you.” Derek halts, it hurts to have to say it, to admit it. “I’m sorry, you should never have gone through any of this. I didn’t protect you well enough.” Stiles is just there, it looks like he is sleeping, but there’s that bitter reality that Derek can’t wake him… Stiles won’t wake. 

 

Isaac shivers lightly as he can feel Peter watching him undress himself, he knows they have to talk about it, but he rather not, he doesn’t want to ever have to mention it again. He can’t believe what he’s done, that he didn’t even stop to think that Derek would save Peter and that they would all be fine, to watch Stiles lying on the kitchen counter, almost bleeding to death, and knowing that it most likely was his fault. Peter is already in bed, wondering what he should say. “How could you do it?” he asks, he needs to know, he needs to know why Isaac was capable of sacrificing someone that had been like a brother to him, someone that had been kind to him from the start, and always including him. “Because I couldn’t take loosing you.” Isaac whispers, ashamed. “Isaac, Derek would have saved me... you know that, didn’t you trust Derek?” Isaac blushes gently, he feels ashamed of that he did. “Because he has been so taken up about Stiles, it was all about Stiles, you were next in line of importance… You were first on mine!” Peter growls, pulling Isaac into bed and startling him. “That doesn’t give you the right to put anyone else in danger, you could have risked both me and Stiles dying, how would that have felt?” Isaac crumbles, tears seeping down and cut off sobs. Peter sighs, he should have seen it coming. “Come here, let’s not talk about it right now… we’ll wait until we know what will happen to Stiles.” 

 

Alec sighs, Remi is breathing down his neck… it should be soothing, but right at that moment, Alec just wants to get out of there, he doesn’t want to stay at a house that has an alpha. He has grown up to the idea that alphas, they’re evil beings, with power to destroy anything weaker than themselves. He knows it is unrealistic, Derek has done nothing to seem at all evil, he has been gentle with his human. He has taken their brother in when they couldn’t. Derek was a good man, but he is still an alpha. He has power, and he could use it. “Can’t you sleep?” Artic whispers across the room, he is halfway under Scott who snores into his ear, loud enough to make it ring in his ears. “No.” Artic turns his head, straining to move under the weight of Scott, he doesn’t have the heart to push him away though, he needs his sleep. “Derek is good.” Artic says, he knows of his brothers unrealistic fear of all alphas. Obviously it isn’t a good situation to be without an alpha, but to fear them all simply because they’re stronger is generalising alphas as all being control taking monsters, abusing their power. “He is still an alpha” Artic snorts, Derek is genetically speaking an alpha, but he never owned up to it, he never really used it. He doesn’t feel comfortable being a leader, he used to his advantage that he was stronger… But apart from that, he might as well just have been a beta. 

“Derek is the gentlest alpha I know of… if you can call him gentle.” Artic ponders for a more correct word to describe Derek by. “He’s like an older brother, taking care of you, because you’re family… and he cares for us, even though he won’t say so.” Alec hums once, years of abuse won’t be forgotten because one alpha has a good heart… A broken one, but still good. “I’m sorry, that we left you behind.” Alec says, he really is, it used to take him hours to fall asleep, because he would wonder if Rex was hurting Artic. Many times they discussed turning around to go get him, but then they’d just get taken. He can’t quite figure how they lived with themselves, knowing who’s hands their little brothers were in. “It’s okay… Derek and Peter came along, I’ve been safer then I ever would have been, even with you two. I don’t know about you, but I want to be in a pack… I want to have an alpha, that’s safety to me. Rex wasn’t a proper alpha, he was evil.” 

“What about Thom’s alpha, wouldn’t you say he was evil too?” Artic rolls his eyes, he speaks louder then. “Who was the one to kill him, who was the one to make sure I didn’t get further hurt?” Artic really feels like he should defend Derek, because Derek has never been anything but good to him. “Who was the one to carry Stiles in here, like he was a broken crystal of some kind?” Alec remembers it, seeing how gentle Derek had been with Stiles, it wasn’t something he has seen before, only heard. Mates rarely occurred anymore. Werewolves didn’t search for their mates, they just found someone to love, someone to love them back. It was something that had just faded with time… the whole idea of mates was a distant thing. Some werewolves still got mated though, with someone they love. But still, on rare occasions, true mates find each other. Derek had found Stiles. Stiles had found Derek. They had found each other, and they were meant to stay together… Derek hadn’t wanted to admit it, but he knew Stiles was his mate, and he knew he should gift him with the bite. But Derek insisted it wasn’t a gift… He was born with it, so he had no choice, that was fine. And for Isaac, Erica and Boyd it had been to save them, where two out of three had ended up dead, so was it really much of a saving? Stiles though, poor little Stiles… what if the bite didn’t take, what if he didn’t want the bite? Could Derek even bring it up? 

Alec falls asleep, still not answering Artic. Derek, the answer is Derek, it’s always Derek. Derek saved Isaac, Derek saved Scott, Derek saved Artic, and Derek saved Peter… Derek saved them all. But who was going to save Derek? Stiles…


	15. Nightmares and voices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Stiles wake up again?   
> and if he does, will he tell on Isaac?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I was away for a lot longer than I had planned...   
> seems my mother made my plans for me, so that I had to stay a few days longer than I wanted to! 
> 
> Well here is another chapter! 
> 
> Thank you for reading, and enjoy!

Stiles hears them, he can hear them talking but can’t quite catch up to what they’re saying. But he hears Derek, and he feels his hand holding his, it’s soothing, it feels like that is his lifeline, it’s all he’s holding on to at the moment. He can’t feel the pain anymore, and he can’t feel that he is being stitched up, but he has a feeling that someone is doing something to his body, and he knows that Derek wouldn’t let anyone hurt him when he’s around. It’s all just a blur, he doesn’t know when he is aware, and when he drifts back into the darkness. At times, it’s hard for him to know wether Derek holding his hand, is a dream, or wether Thom still torturing him is a nightmare, but he hopes for the latter. He spends what feels like forever, just listening to the voices buzzing around him.

When he becomes aware, of either his dream or reality, he only hears one voice, it’s Derek, he can hear Derek. Whilst the others tune out into light buzzes, Derek is a fixed grumble… His voice is stronger, and it’s closer, right next to his ear. Stiles just wishes he could pick up on what he is saying, he longs to know what he’s being told. Because he has a feeling it’s something he’d want to remember. Derek has never really sat down with him and just talked with him, and that wolf of a man, choses the only time Stiles can’t answer him, he can’t even hear what he’s saying. Stiles can feel Derek’s breath on his neck, he is very aware of the warmth that streams through him, he knows that feeling, he remembers it from all the times Scott has pulled pain out of him, Derek has done it a few times too, but he isn’t as familiar with the incredible warmth Derek is able to make, compared to his betas. 

Derek just sits there, watching him closely. He can almost sense when Stiles drifts away from him, it’s like he becomes distant, looking more like he is dead, rather then sleeping. It’ confusing to have to watch him like that, it’s such a heavy contrast to the old energetic Stiles he had gotten so used to have around. He hasn’t seen that Stiles in a while, but he still remembers him and misses him. That is the Stiles he wants back, but he knows the chances of that keep slimming as things just kept going wrong around them. Stiles won’t be able to recover from this one, not properly. His tics will probably be out of paranoia, rather then ADHD or just an override of energy. 

Derek sighs, he can see Stiles drifting again, he can see him slipping away from him again. He holds on to his hand even tighter, moving in closer to share his warmth, and pull any sign of pain out of Stiles’ veins. “Come back to me, I promise I’ll never let anyone take you again.” Derek struggles to his feet for a second, hesitating a moment before he picks Stiles up again… he turns so that he can sit down on the couch gently. He leans back, holding on to Stiles limp body. Stiles is in his lap but laying back to chest with Derek, so Derek gently moves him around so that he is chest to chest with him. Stiles’ breath evens out, like he actually falls asleep. It’s weird, because it’s like Stiles becomes aware again, but like he falls asleep as well. Derek just enjoys the fact that he feels calm again, like he feels safe again… It’s the one thing Derek wants more then anything, Stiles feeling safe. 

 

Days just pass in a blur, Derek can’t tell night apart form day… He just sits there, denying to move away from Stiles, insisting that Stiles is less stressed when he holds him. It’s true, the beat of Stiles’ heart speeds up once Derek isn’t in physical contact with him anymore. It needs to be skin to skin, Derek has to hold his hand, or have him in his lap, or pull his hands through Stiles messy hair. “Someone should clean him.” Remi says, both he and Alec have stayed, much to Artic’s joy. Remi has taken over the cleaning and making sure they all stay fed… Alec keeps Artic and Scott occupied with something to do at all times, Peter has taken his distance and primarily stays up in his room, Isaac stays there too. Sleeping, he just keeps on sleeping… not wanting to stay awake, not wanting to remember anything. Isaac doesn’t even look at Stiles when they eat, he looks everywhere but at Stiles. No one questions it, Peter and Scott don’t because they know why. Derek just thinks he is hurting too much, Artic doesn’t question it because Scott doesn’t. Remi and Alec, they don’t question anything at the moment, they’re just there, picking up whatever pieces they can. Alec doesn’t really flinch anymore when he’s around Derek, but he avoids being too close. 

“His wounds are healing nicely, maybe not in a bath yet but at least wash him off with a cloth.” Derek hums once, he is currently sitting on the floor, holding on to Stiles’ hand, just feeling the warmth that has slowly returned to his body, Derek doesn’t know if it is because he is waking up, of if his body is pulling warmth from Derek’s, but that’s what it feels like. The warmer Stiles get, the colder Derek feels. It’s taking too long, even if he wakes up, will he be the same? Remi keeps repeating to Derek that Stiles is only taking time because his body is trying to restart itself after what happened. The sickeningly amount of pain he must have gone through, has shocked him into some kind of a sleep. Only Stiles can decide when he is ready to wake up. It scared Derek to know that Stiles can chose not to wake up, he wonders if Stiles is aware that he can just chose not to wake up, and just slowly die away from them. 

Derek isn’t sure that moving Stiles around too much is good for him, so he is very careful when he carries Stiles upstairs to his room, he finds a cloth and a bowls with warm water. Remi drops by and mixes some herbs to help the wounds healing, into the heated water. It smells nice, it’s a nice smell on Stiles Derek decides. He removes the big T-shirt that belongs to himself, and pulls down Stiles sweatpants, he decides against removing his underwear. Knowing the stress it would cause him if he indeed was aware of what they were doing to his body… his body has been used enough, Derek never wants to make him uncomfortable again, he doesn’t think he’d survive it if he ended up scaring Stiles further. He can’t help but to be amazed by Stiles’ body, the soft forms of his stomach and the pointy jaws that he has. He isn’t as soft as he used to be, the lack of eating is showing… he looks better when he is out of shape and rounded at the edges… he likes soft Stiles, he likes slightly out of shaped Stiles. In general Derek likes Stiles.

He moves smoothly over his arms, around his neck… Derek hesitates when he reaches Stiles stomach, it’s one of his favourite features on Stiles. Stiles has a soft, warm, and rounded belly. He is not by any means big, he never was, by a matter of fact, Stiles was always little. Derek put the cloth down and rested the palm of his hand on Stiles warm skin. He sits there, enjoying the feeling of Stiles skin under his, the reassuring way Stiles chest keeps expanding in little puffs of breath. Derek would be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t doing his best not to cry, he fought it so hard. He doesn’t disserve to cry, he is alive, and unharmed. Stiles is tortured, he should be the one crying… It takes him some time to realize, but the temperature of Stiles skin, it’s equal to his. Derek frowns, moving quickly up the bed, his rough hand gently on Stiles forehead. He’s warm, fever. 

Stiles deteriorates over the next few days, they all start fearing for his life again, even Isaac keeps sending glances over, just to see that Stiles is still breathing. Derek holds him at all times now, not taking chances. He doesn’t want to let go of Stiles, because if Stiles is going to die, it’s going to be in his hands, it has to be. He was doomed the second he walked into Derek’s arms, he’ll die there too. 

Derek carries Stiles upstairs with him every night now, having agreed to the fact that he also needs sleep… If he was in his right mind he would let someone else watch over him at night and they’d sleep on turns, but Derek probably wouldn’t be able to sleep if he didn’t feel Stiles breathing, if he couldn’t hear Stiles heartbeat, and feel his warmth.   
That night, when Derek has Stiles back up against his chest, and his hand under Stiles head to support it, Stiles starts shaking. “Remi!” Derek moves away from under Stiles, getting Stiles untangled from his bed sheets. Remi bursts in the door, wearing nothing but underwear, storming over to the bed and grabbing a hold of Stiles arms, holding them down. “You need to hold his legs, he might hurt himself!” Alec tells Derek as he runs towards the bathroom to get some cold cloth to chill Stiles down. “It’s the fever, his body isn’t taking it well.” Remi doesn’t even struggle to keep Stiles down, he is too weak to put up much of a fight. Derek’s hands are just lightly resting on Stiles ankles and it’s enough to keep them down. “He can’t go on like this much longer Derek… he needs to wake up soon.” Remi speaks silently, like he doesn’t really want to be telling Derek the truth, but knowing he has to. 

When they finally have Stiles relaxed and chilled again, and Remi has attached the drip they have on Stiles, Derek finds himself asking questions. It’s one of the things Derek never really does, Derek never asks. “Isn’t there anyway of waking him up, obviously talking to him, or touching him doesn’t help, but there has to be something to speed it along.” Alec sends Remi a look, they both know very well that the chances of Stiles actually waking up, are slimming down for every minute. “No, I’m afraid there is nothing that can be done… I don’t even think it is up to Stiles anymore, it’s up to his body.” Remi explains, going over all Stiles’ wounds to make sure none of the stiches ripped whilst he was trashing around on bed. “Would changing him help?” Derek has considered it quite a few times, that maybe the bite would wake him, if it took, it would help Stiles heal quicker. “Derek, it’s too much of a risk. What if his body doesn’t accept it?” Remi doesn’t want to give Derek hope by saying that yes, the bite would help, if it took. “His body has gone through so much trauma, inflicting him with your bite… could kill him, within seconds, even if the bite takes.” Alec explains, Stiles body would most likely just give up under the pressure of the change. 

“Wake up.” Derek whispers, he doesn’t look at Stiles, and he doesn’t even know if he is talking to Stiles… maybe he is talking to himself, Derek’s mind keeps telling him it’s just a nightmare, he’ll wake up soon, to his mother making him pancakes for breakfast, and Peter knocking on his door, telling him to get his arse out of bed. But Derek knows better, he can’t let himself be fooled. Reality is that Stiles is slowly fading in his arms… the worst part? The Sheriff doesn’t know, Scott has Stiles phone, texting Stiles’ dad at random times, telling him that he is fine, and asking Stiles-like questions about the law and things only Stiles would ask about. For now, he is buying it. 

Stiles is just so endlessly trapped, he want’s to scream, he want’s to break out. He can hear Derek sometimes, whispering into his ears. It’s like he is just sleeping now, he can feel his body again, mostly at what he presumes to be night time when Derek is asleep and not constantly pulling any ache out of his body. Stiles feels like he is digging his way out of the darkness, but for all he knows, he might just be digging his own grave. That feeling of light that keeps getting stronger, he doesn’t know wether it’s because he is waking up again, or if it’s because he is dying. Maybe the whole cliché about the lights are true? He choses not to think about it too much, he keeps his focus at trying to find Derek, really searching for Derek. Trying to feel Derek touching him, trying to tell wether or not Derek is awake and close to him… and when he talks, he hangs on to every word, they’re his only guidance. “Keep breathing Stiles.” “Stay alive” “Relax, you’re safe” it’s like he has to listen, he has to breathe, he has to live, he has to relax. Oh, if only Derek could demand him to wake up… He need’s Derek to tell him what to do, he’s lost.   
He remembers Derek whispering into his ear, it couldn’t have been long ago, he had whispered for Stiles to wake up, but he couldn’t because it was just Derek asking, it had to be Alpha Derek who told him to wake up. 

Derek is losing it, he doesn’t know what to do, he want’s to curse he wants to bash someone’s head in. He can hardly breathe, Stiles is completely still, he doesn’t move, his heart is beating so weakly, boiling with fever. “He doesn’t get to die!” Derek insists, Peter is trying to calm him down, it doesn’t help much… Scott is sitting with Stiles, it’s one of the first times Derek has let go of him since they got him back home. Stiles’ body doesn’t react to Derek being around him anymore, so it doesn’t matter if Derek let’s go or not. Stiles isn’t reacting, he isn’t waking up, life is seeping out form him so quickly they can literally see him turn white. “Derek, you have to calm down.” Peter tries, pushing Derek up against the wall, stopping him from psyching himself out. “Shut up, just shut up… we’ve done all we can, there is nothing left to do!” Peter knows it’s harsh, but it’s all there is to say. Stiles can’t be saved… they failed him, but there is nothing left to do than to wait it out, and hope he dies at peace. 

“No, he doesn’t get to!” Derek shoves Peter away from himself, he is roaring with anger, red eyes flashing with warning for everyone to get out of the way. Scott scurries away from Stiles side, pulling Artic and Isaac with him to stand behind Peter, who has just collected himself from the shock of Derek shifting right before his face. Peter feels Isaac creep up under his arm and clutching on to his chest as they all watch Derek stride towards a lifeless human from. “No.” Alec’s hand tightens around Remi’s wrist as Remi tries to step forward… it’s crucial that Stiles isn’t put under further trauma, an angered alpha isn’t good company. 

“You better wake up now, Stiles!” Derek grasps both of Stiles shoulders, shaking him, Isaac tremors at the sight of Derek being violent… he has seen Derek fight, and he has seen Derek kill. But it had always been to protect his pack, watching him shake Stiles innocent body, it makes him feel sick. “WAKE UP!” It’s the loudest they’ve all heard Derek’s alpha voice, it’s loud… loud enough for Stiles to hear. His eyes… they fall open. Stiles is looking directly at Derek, blinking up in confusion. Derek falls to his knees by the couch… they’re all silent, just looking at him. Stiles coughs once, dry and soar, catching Derek’s attention. “Get him some water.” He tells Remi, his voice only holds until the last word, before it breaks down into sobs, he shots forward until his upper body is covering Stiles, one hand under Stiles neck and one under his shoulder, he holds on, for dear life he holds on. Stiles sensation of what’s real life and what’s a nightmare, flickers when he hears Derek cry… Is Derek actually crying, it’s the most horrid thing he has ever heard, it’s out of place. Derek doesn’t cry, he never cries. And yet he is, because of Stiles. You’d think it’d be happy tears, but it isn’t… Derek is in pain, Stiles might not be a werewolf, but he can feel it, he can practically smell the pain lingering in the air.   
“I love you” It might be the first time Derek has felt like the smaller one, Stiles hand has managed to move up to Derek’s side, just gently briefing his skin before it falls back, motionless. Stiles makes the sound of a huff, he can’t answer, his voice won’t let him. But it’s no secret, they all know, even Derek… Derek in some ways, might have known all along, he just wouldn’t allow it. 

Remi is at their side, holding a glass of water with a straw in it he doesn’t hand it to Derek, because his hands are visible shaking, he hasn’t even fully pulled himself off of Stiles’ chest. “You might want to let him breathe…” Remi smiles gently, they can all feel the relief in the air, it’s breath taking. “Here, come on” Remi helps Stiles get the straw into his mouth, and when he takes the first sip, Stiles realizes how thirsty he is. Nothing matters more then water at that moment. 

It all changes after that, no one is denying the fact that Derek loves Stiles, and Stiles loves Derek. Stiles is alive, Stiles is awake. Derek is happy, well… happier then he has been in quite some time. Overprotective, but happy. Isaac trips in his own legs all the time, fearing what might be about to happen, as soon as Stiles remembers how he ended up where he did. He hasn’t mentioned not remembering it, but he can’t remember it, he would have told. But he just acts as normal as he can, tired, paranoid and depressed. Even through all that distress, he looks at Isaac like a little brother he needs to take care of. “Derek, It’s okay… I can get my own water.” Stiles insists, Derek hardly lets him get up from the couch, just keeps him there and keeps feeding him. Stiles has put on visible weight over the six days he has been awake again… “I don’t want you walking around on your own.” Derek grasps his elbow and one hand on his lower back, Stiles rolls his eyes and puts the empty cup down. “Correction, you don’t want me walking around, unless you’re practically carrying me.” Derek’s eyes flashes red down at him, his tolerance for Stiles opposing his role as alpha, has decreased drastically. That actually counts for everyone, even Peter. 

“Derek is right Stiles, you shouldn’t strain yourself too much yet…” Remi says, he is at the moment making breakfast for them all, Derek seems to enjoy not having to make food for them all the time, and still know they are being fed the right things. Alec and Derek still don’t really get along, but Artic is happy, and if Artic is happy, so is Scott, and a happy Scott is a happy Isaac, happy Isaac is happy Peter, and happy Peter… well, means a happy Peter. It does slightly mean a content Derek though, and content Derek, is calm Stiles… Calm Stiles, is recovering Stiles. It all works in a wonderful circle.   
“But do I have to sit on the couch all the time, I need to do something!” Stiles huffs dramatically.. “If you don’t let me take you back to the couch, I’ll take you upstairs and you can stay in bed all day.” Derek explains, it’s threat enough for Stiles, he starts moving immediately. Though he loves sleeping with Derek, loves feeling safe and sound…. Staying in the bedroom ALL the time, is killing him. His usual antic behaviour has gradually returned, he needs an outlet. 

 

Stiles can feel Derek’s warmth as he walks him back to the couch, he secretly loves it, and he might have pretended to not want to go back to the couch, just to have Derek escort him. They have arranged so that Stiles has his own couch in the living room, where he has his duvet and four big, fluffy pillows. He even has extra blankets and a woollen jumper. He doesn’t know why they insist on keeping him so warm, but it feels nice. Derek says it’s to keep him from getting sick, because he is still weak. Stiles will respond with the same smartass line every time. “Where am I supposed to catch any kind of virus, you guys are literally as sanitary as you can get it.” Derek will just look at him, that kind of a look that makes Stiles let Derek get away with anything, even with packing him into a soft, warm, lulled nest of duvets and pillows. Fooling him to sleep a few hours extra every morning when the others get up… 

“Crawl under…” Derek demands, holding up the duvet for him and helps him under. “Derek?” he asks, Derek just looks at him, giving him those eyes, he has started understanding when Derek tells him things, without saying them. Like he used to be able to tell before, but now that he has really started concentrating on it, he knows they mean that Stiles better not ask him something he knows he can’t or do anything to defy him. “Can you maybe… like…” Stiles get’s nervous, he knows he doesn’t have to, but it’s awkward, he knows everyone in the house can hear them, and it bothers him that he can’t hear them as well. “Can I what, Stiles?” Derek starts packing him in, shutting out any trace of chilled air. “Hold me…” it’s low, Derek hears it though, and he turns concerned, Stiles never asks, not out loud. Derek doesn’t answer though, he just pulls his shirt off and lifts the covers to get himself propped under it, together with Stiles’ small, pyjama-clothed body. 

“Nightmares?” Derek asks, Stiles nods, he still has them… worse then ever, he wakes up several times a night, sweating, screaming and shaking. He pictures it over and over again, walking down that road with Isaac, seeing Thom standing there, waiting for him… taking him away. Cutting into his skin. The feeling, the fright it goes away though, when Derek sits up next to him, pulling him all close and kissing his hair. Pulling him back down with him, humming silently into his air… it’s not really loud enough to say that he is humming, it’s more like a rumbling from his chest. It’s a wolf thing, Stiles loves wolf things… especially if they involve Derek. That has always been late at night when the others are usually sleeping, so Stiles is slightly confused when Derek’s chest rumbles lowly, Stiles can practically feel the vibrations against his own skin, and it calms him into a restful bliss. 

Isaac shows up, he ends up sitting on the floor in front of the couch, Derek’s hand fall down to rest on Isaac’ thigh, Scott and Artic follow in his lead cuddling up close, even Remi and Alec move closer, looking visible relaxed. It’s definitely a wolf thing, more then he might have thought. He’ll have to ask Peter about it later, but where is Peter? Stiles’ breath hitches as he notices someone’s missing, it’s the one thing he hates, they have all tired to leave as little as possible. But Scott, Artic and Isaac still go to school. Remi and Alec work, Peter has even started working, so for a few hours at daytime, it’s just Derek and Stiles. “What?” Derek whispers, the rumbling seems to continue though. “Peter?” he asks, looking around, Peter isn’t the kind to openly stand in a room, he sneaks in the corners. “Just picking up a few things from the grocery store.” Isaac mumbles his head lulled on Derek’s shoulder. Derek is on his back, with Stiles halfway over his chest, and with one arm down resting on Isaac, as he holds Stiles. “Alone?” Stiles asks, bewildered… It’s his least favourite word at the moment, alone is dangerous, alone is bad. Derek sighs, his hand resting on Stiles neck, holding him down. The rumbling increases in volume, but the pitch lowers. “He’ll be fine.” Remi promises. 

Stiles falls asleep shortly after that, just listening to Derek’s low rumble. When he wakes again, the low rumbling from Derek chest is because he is snoring, he has fallen asleep and Stiles swears that he is drooling. The others have moved, he can’t see Artic or Scott anywhere, not Peter either. Remi and Alec are also not around anymore, it’s just Isaac who’s still sitting on the floor in front of them, still having Derek’s hand hold him, still lulling on his shoulders. But he isn’t sleeping, his eyes are wide open and he is watching Stiles. His golden curls are matted and wild, he has this puppy look on his face, that kind of look that a puppy who has done something wrong would have. So sad, but still so cute and forgivable. 

“Stiles?” Isaac whispers, his eyes flicker to make sure Derek is actually still asleep, and doesn’t wake from them talking. “Yeah?” Stiles knows what’s coming, he’s been expecting it. “I’m so sorry.” Isaac whispers, his eyes are turning bloodshot within seconds and he sobs silently, trying to keep breathing calmly. “It doesn’t matter Isaac, I’m fine.” Stiles reaches out a hand that lands in his hair, holding on to some of the usually so soft curls, now they just seem untamed and brisk. “You shouldn’t have to forgive me, there shouldn’t be anything to forgive me for… I gave you up to him, I’m evil.” He hisses, his eyes are filled with despite, and Stiles knows it’s turned to himself…   
“Listen, I forgive you… You’re not evil, you were scared of loosing Peter, and you acted thoughtlessly.” Stiles’ antic fingers ruffle his hair before pulling his hand back. “I won’t tell on my little puppy, daddy wolf might get prissy.” Isaac’s eyes shift from despite to confusion, and then slightly disgusted. “Daddy wolf? “ he asks, sounding like he rather not believe Stiles used those words about Derek. “That’s just wrong.” He whispers, just a breath of air as he closes his eyes and buries his face in Derek’s shoulder. “Okay, I won’t call him that again… well I might, I like it.” Stiles winks evilly. “Hey, remember that I forgive you, nothing to worry about… you’re still my little brother, you’re still my little puppy.”

“You won’t tell Derek?” it’s Peter, standing in the doorway, he has snuck up on both of them. “No, it’d just mess things up…” Stiles cuddles up under Derek’s jaw, scrubbing his nose on Derek’s stubble. Derek mumbles something, waking up and looking down at Stiles, and then over to Isaac. “Don’t get cold, Isaac.” Derek warns, gripping his thigh tightly and patting him… Isaac’s eyes soften and he blushes lightly, Derek doesn’t seem to notice the evidence of tear on Isaac’s cheeks, at least he doesn’t mention it… he just lifts his hand and it rests on Isaac’s cheeks warmly for a while, lifting the corner of the duvet…. It doesn’t take more then a second for Isaac to come crawling under it… Stiles can’t help falling asleep again, with Isaac snoring in his face, and Derek’s chest rumbling underneath him.


	16. Hold me just a little longer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles and Derek taking it a bit further,  
> and Isaac trying to fight the guilt!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEY, just the last chapter left now!
> 
> I'm so proud of myself to have written the whole thing and actually uploaded it, I was like shit nervous about the whole thing 0,o   
> But now it's almost done!

“Time to go to bed…” Derek wakes Stiles up on the couch, he has slept since after dinner, he really hopes Derek won’t expect him to eat again before they go to bed. But by the looks of it he won’t, he just lifts Stiles up bridal style and carries him with him up the stairs. Stiles get’s a glimpse of the watch hanging on the wall in the kitchen… It’s midnight. Derek never stays up that late, the others have all gone to bed, it’s just them up. “Couldn’t you sleep?” Stiles asks, he has gotten used to being carried around, it’s been three weeks, and Derek still won’t let him walk the stairs, he still won’t let him go outside. He was allowed to go to a hairdresser two days ago, even tough Derek insisted he could cut his hair…. Stiles knows Derek probably could, he’s after all the one who cut Isaac, Scott and Artic’s hair. Probably Peter’s hair too, even if he wouldn’t admit it. Well, he got to go to the hairdresser with Derek, Peter and Isaac. He was hardly allowed to be alone in the bathroom. Which was something he really didn’t mind, Derek will come with him when he showers or take baths, not when he goes to the toilet though, that’d just be awkward for both of them. Stiles has a feeling Derek won’t let him take baths alone after that time when he ran off. 

“No.” Derek grumbles, Stiles knows he is getting restless, staying inside all day, the only kind of exercise being carrying Stiles up and down the stairs, and the few times he takes Stiles down the to the cellar… Stiles enjoys that, watching Derek work out. It makes him feel safe to see his alpha proving his strength to him over and over again. Scott would tease and tell him it was to show off. Stiles and Derek hadn’t really gotten passed the point of admitting their love, they slept together, they stayed together all day but they never like kiss… He wants that, Stiles wants to kiss him, feel his stubble. “You know, you can go outside… I’ll be fine here with everyone. Or you cold go downstairs and run some energy off.” Stiles suggest, shrugging. “I know you would be fine here, I just…” Derek stops midsentence, in makes Stiles intrigued, because Derek stopping midsentence usually means he’s about to say something he isn’t comfortable speaking about… and that usually involves feelings. Stiles loves when Derek talks about feelings, it’s something he doesn’t do. “I don’t want to leave you, I don’t think I’d be fine without you...” It’s almost too silent to pick up, but Stiles hears it, he hears the way Derek almost spits it out… like he can’t quite believe he just admitted to it. 

“You could take me with you know, like I could sit and wait for you, or something.” Stiles shrugs, he feels Derek’s body bending over to put him down on the bed, but he doesn’t let go of his grip around Derek’s neck when Derek has put him down, he holds him, and Derek doesn’t move away either. “Maybe when you’re better.” Derek mumbles, there is still guilt in his voice as he speaks. “Derek, I’m human, I can’t really get much better than this.” Stiles jokes, loosening his grip around Derek’s neck. Derek walks around the bed, Stiles eyes are on his broad outline. Stiles finds himself fascinated by the pure size of Derek, Derek is huge, but not like ridiculously large… it’s like an all over thing, like he is just huge everywhere. The one thing Stiles hadn’t noticed until recently, is how smooth Derek is. All his muscles are rounded and soft, his skin is flawless and warm… He loves the contrast of the smooth skin on Derek’s face against the stubble. 

 

The bed dips down where Derek settles himself next to Stiles, it’s the same as every night has been since he got back…. Since Derek had saved him, since he was safe again. Derek and Stiles will lie face to face, as close as they can get, without touching… Derek will look directly into his eyes, just keeping his eyes on him, never letting Stiles out of his sight… And just as Stiles is about to fall asleep, Derek will move close enough to wrap his hand around Stiles body, nuzzling down into his hair. This time however, Stiles moves in towards Derek, warping his hand over Derek’s chest and pulling, he isn’t strong enough to actually move Derek’s body, but Derek complies to Stiles’ words “Hold me” Stiles turns around as they mover closer to each other, his back all up in Derek’s chest, his legs intertwined with Derek’s, his arm on top of the on that is cradling him… nestling up into the stubble that scrapes at his neck. 

“Derek, you’re warm.” Stiles says, feeling how warm Derek is against his skin. It feels like they’re melting together. “Mh.” Is all he get’s in return, but Stiles knows better, he knows that when werewolves get warm like that, it’s due to happiness, the feeling of being content… and lust. Derek is warm for him, and in return it makes him warm. Stiles loves Derek more then he can ever start to explain, but in that moment, he feels like Derek knows, and he feels like he understands just how much Derek loves him, enough to lust for him… enough for his wolf to melt them together in a heated bliss. When he strains his neck to look at Derek over his shoulder, Derek’s eyes are dark, and he swears, for a second he can see flashes of red. Derek’s hand moves down his body, stopping at the gap between his clothes, at the peak of his hip. 

It’s a blur, but Derek is on top of him, his clothes are removed and he is breathing heavily, looking into red orbs, but he’s not scared, there is nothing to be scared of, it’s just Derek. Derek’s hands are roaming over his boxers, pulling the elastic band from time to other. Heat is radiating off of Derek’s body in waves, his groin is all pressed up against Stiles behind, making him moan in anticipation. “Your sure?” Derek asks, his voice nothing but a grumble, Stiles nods frantically, he is sure… he want’s this, he want’s Derek to be his, he want’s to belong to someone. For the first time in his life, Stiles knows exactly where he belongs, and who he belongs with, it’s Derek, it’s always been Derek.   
Stiles withers under Derek’s palms, hadn’t he been under the hypnoses of Derek’s closeness, he might have taken time to get insecure about his body, but no, not with Derek holding him like that, not with Derek breathing heavily down his neck. “You’re beautiful.” Derek rumbles, it makes Stiles’ breath hitch and he turns around whilst his hands reach up to grasp onto Derek’s broad shoulders. 

Derek’s fingers pull the last piece of clothing off of Stiles, ridding it from the part of Stiles he has craved for ages. He has moved back so that he is sitting on his knees, holding Stiles legs up in he air, just feeling his warm skin on his. Derek is also naked, and he has never felt more free, never felt more at home. Leaning forward he spreads Stiles’ legs, one on each side of his own chest, all the way until Stiles is bent in half and Derek can kiss him again, lips dancing with lips, hips moving in circles. “Derek” Stiles can’t help but to whine, his body is running on full speed, every sense is strengthened, he can feel every inch of his skin that’s in contact with him, he can feel every inch that longs for Derek to cover all of him. Derek breathes him in, humming in response, it’s enough to calm Stiles down for a while, allowing a few more minutes of just worshipping Stiles’ skin, battled and bruised, but still warm and his… just his, finally just for him to wither in. 

Stiles gaps when he feels Derek’s palm moving down between his legs, roaming over his ass for a few seconds longer then what Stiles has patients for at the moment. Derek can’t help but to smile, he should have foreseen that Stiles would be exactly how Stiles always is… even in bed. “Just breathe Stiles, I’ve got you.” Derek hushes, his finger moving to spread him open, expose a part of himself that Stiles want’s to be only Derek’s. “I think it’s because you got me, that I’m struggling to breathe” Stiles’ back arches when he feels Derek’s warm, smooth index finger enter him, no warning. Stiles moans at the intruding feeling, it’s strange, it might be his body’s second time experiencing it, but it’s Stiles first. Derek hushes him, moving his finger in slow patterns, easing Stiles onto it. Derek kisses Stiles neck to distract him from his next move, entering a second finger into Stiles accommodating body, the stretch of Stiles muscle around his finger, it’s enough to make Derek groan loudly. Stiles’ breath get’s shorter and shorter as he lets himself get lost in the feeling of Derek stretching him open. 

“Here?” Derek asks huskily as he presses down on a specific point inside of Stiles, making Stiles’ back continue to arch higher, Stiles hardly remembers how to speak. But he doesn’t need to say anything, his reaction is enough, Derek continues pressing down lightly, smoothing over Stiles’ spot with every thrust of his hand. “Derek, now would be a good time to… you know, move on” Stiles’ hand is moving down to is own groin, his body starting to shake. “You’re just another horny teenager…” Derek smiles at the realization, Stiles is a normal teenager, just a normal horny teenager. Stiles just huffs in return, shying away from Derek’s fingers, Derek lets up on the pressure he has kept on Stiles pleasure point, but he doesn’t pull back, not yet. “Soon.” He promises Stiles, leaning all the way down again, pressing their lips together in a long, lust filled kiss.   
He uses the moment he baffles Stiles with the kiss to press in one final finger, stretching him around his three fingers. Stiles yelps, it’s an unexplainable sensation to be stretched open like that, it’s like nothing Stiles has ever felt. “Ready?” Derek whispers down into his ear, kissing his lobe ever so lightly… It makes him shiver, but he nods his and mind becomes clear again, and his heartbeats quickening, not out of lust, or longing… but anticipation, nerves. 

“We’re only doing this if you relax” Derek’s fingers are still lightly thrusting into him, knowing it’s only nerves, he can smell the anxiety on Stiles skin. Stiles takes a deep breath, and just as he has calmed down, Derek presses down right on his spot, making him jump, his erection has been painfully hard from the moment Derek put his hands on him, and it’s no different now, just waiting for relief “Here” Derek removes his fingers slowly, easing one out at the time. He moves Stiles legs up on his shoulders, getting up on his knees, roaming over Stiles smaller body, pushing his legs forward until he is on top of him again. “Ready?” Derek ask, one final time, Stiles has been ready all along, he’s just waiting now. “Yes I’ve been ready for ages, come on you lazy wolf” Derek gives him that shit eating grin before he gives Stiles a brief kiss getting back up, aligning them. 

Stiles yelps again, the stretch is perplexing in itself, but the amount of pressure it puts on his spot, is mind blowing. “Move.” Stiles demands, he can’t even reach up to try to push Derek along, he is restricted by his legs being over Derek’s shoulders, and with Derek hanging over him like that, he is beyond doubled over in half. He can’t even move enough to touch himself, Derek is in full control… and he is sure taking his sweet time.   
But Derek want’s to savour it, want’s it to take time, he want’s Stiles to get impatient and act out in his usual quirky way. The first thrust is slow, but Derek makes his hips flick at the end, sending Stiles forward by an inch, Stiles breath is practically knocked out of him with a ragged moan following it. “You want me to go rough on you, don’t you?” Derek grins in realization as he figures Stiles skim. Stiles blushes, but nods, eagerly… all nerves are gone now. It’s just him and Derek. Derek’s hips snaps against Stiles’ body, making him whimper in need. 

Derek keeps moving slowly though, he is not having sex with Stiles, he is making love to him, no matter how cheesy that sounds, that is the truth, it isn’t the sex in itself that matter at that moment, it’s about Stiles feeling loved, and feeling safe… Satisfied. Having Stiles beneath himself like that, is the most right Derek has ever felt… this is where he belongs, together with Stiles. His hands roam over Stiles’ thighs and the sides of his ribcage, just feeling how the teen’s chest keeps heating up the harder he thrusts… The pants leaving Stiles mouth huff over his own skin, making him shiver. “Derek!” It’s a high-pitched shriek leaving Stiles, Derek smiles humming as he allows Stiles to move his legs from his shoulder and down to wrap around his middle. “All in good time” Derek whispers, slowing down his thrusts but keeping the intensity. “Don’t want to rush you or anything, but good times are approaching quickly!” Stiles arches his back in waves, Derek grins down at him nuzzling down into Stiles neck as he rapidly speeds up, moving his hands under Stiles shoulders so that he can hold him in place as he pushes forward.   
Stiles lets out a long moan that get’s cut off by Derek’s thrusts. 

“I can’t…” Stiles’ face scrunches up, his mouth still halfway parted, his entire body snaps as his back arches high, thighs trembling and his stomach tightening up. Derek can feel Stiles’ walls convulsing around him as him rushes forward, sinking his teeth down into Stiles neck, claiming him, mating him for life. Once Derek’s teeth are deep in Stiles’ shoulder muscle, he rides out his own high. Stiles hasn’t made a sound since he came, only when Derek retrieves his teeth, Stiles draws his breath. “So, knotting isn’t actually a thing?” he whispers, out of breath, making Derek laugh loudly, pulling out of Stiles carefully and unwraps Stiles’ legs from his middle, arranging them in a spooning position, Stiles all up in his chest. “No… not unless you want to get pregnant.” Derek whispers down into his ear, Stiles snorts… but then freezes. “Really?” he asks, trying to turn around in Derek’s grip. “No, Stiles, no one is getting pregnant, no one is getting knotted.” Stiles settles again. “But like, can you… like in wolf form or something?” Derek loves seeing this Stiles again, loves having him around to tease him, and asks ridiculous questions. “I’d have to change you first, you’d have to survive the bite… If I was to knot you now, I’d tear you open.” Derek explains, making Stiles shivers. “So maybe another time then?” Derek chuckles. “Another time.” 

“Thank you, that was… good.” Stiles says after a while when they have both fallen silent and Derek almost drifted to sleep. “It was…” Derek whispers into the nape of Stiles neck, he starts making that sound Stiles find so soothing, the low rumbling in his chest. Stiles doesn’t settle yet though, with newfound energy and adrenaline running through his body. “But like you bit me… but that wasn’t to change me, right?” Derek sighs… he should have foreseen the endless questions afterwards. “No, I would have asked first…” Stiles snorts, twisting in Derek’s grips again, but standing no chance against the tight grip. “But not to own me?” Derek doesn’t know wether to cry or laugh, he hopes this Stiles stays around for a long time. “Claim you, not own you, I don’t own you.” Stiles shrugs, settling down, drifting. Derek just faintly catches it as they both fall asleep. “But you do.” 

 

When Derek wakes up the next day, Stiles is snoring lightly… drooling down his arm, Derek can’t find himself being disgusted by the wet puddle under his arm either. Drooling feels like such a Stiles thing to do, so Derek plainly smiles and kisses up Stiles neck. Derek has failed to notice that the rest of the house is awake, ready to go to work and school. Peter bursts in the door, stopping right in his steps. “Well, you two sure reek, and look, he even drools… anyways, I’m driving the kids to school and then I’ll head off to work.” Peter turns and walks out of the room, not closing the door. “Kids?” Derek says, knowing Peter can still hear him. “Your kids… now, take a shower and open a window” Peter says, leaving Derek with a smile. Yeah, his pups. He has four of them… Scott, Isaac, Artic and Stiles. His family has grown, they’re eight now. Scott McCall, Isaac Lahey, Artic Felly, Stiles Stilinski, Peter Hale, Remi Felly, Alec Felly and himself… Derek Hale. Derek freezes, did he just think that? He is so not doing that again, he can’t be left alone to his thought. 

He makes sure he can hear everyone leave before he wakes Stiles up, kissing his neck softly as he hum his name. Stiles makes slurping noises and Derek has to close his eyes and concentrate not to gag… so it’s a little gross. “Time to shower.” Derek states, getting up and pulling his hand away from under Stiles. “Whu?” Stiles turns around, but because he has been on the far end of the bed, he ends up falling off of the bed, landing on the floor with a thump. “Stiles?” Derek stands in the door, watching Stiles struggle to get off the floor, twisted into the bed sheets. “Need some help?” Stiles glances up at him, “No sourwolf, I’m perfectly….” Stiles pauses as he keeps struggling against the sheets. “Stuck, I’m perfectly stuck.” Stiles kicks his legs, trying to get up. “Stupid sheets.” Derek grins as he walks over, leaning over Stiles body whilst making him wrap his hands around his neck. When Derek lifts up, the sheets triple down Stiles’ body and onto the floor. “How about a bath instead?” Derek carries him like that, feet dangling a couple of inches from the ground. 

Once he has them both settled in the tub he notices that Stiles’ mood has changes, he is quiet and deep in his own thoughts. “Still with me?” Derek asks him, it takes some time, but Stiles eventually nods, but still in a very timid way. “Talk to me, this is where we went wrong last time… you should talk to me.” Derek says, pained at the memory of him not listening properly to Stiles. Stiles sniffs, he feels like a moron again, crying over something so stupid. “It’s noting, I just…” Derek kisses Stiles behind his ear, the perks of having Stiles between his legs like that is that he has full access to Stiles’ neck. “Tell me” Derek insists, the sun shines down onto the water, as the waves around in the tub it throws dancing light around the room. “It’s stupid” Stiles mutters closing his eyes and leaning back, Derek feels warmer then the water against his skin. “I just though of how you’re not actually my first… you didn’t take my” Derek closes his eyes, he too is aware of that fact, but it isn’t true. “Virginity” Derek supplies, nose nuzzling into Stiles’ neck.   
“Right, I wanted you to be my first, but you weren’t… I wanted to give you my virginity, but it was taken.” Stiles trembles slightly, Derek can feel the bitterness building in Stiles’ chest, he can feel the disgust Stiles tastes on his tongue. “That’s not stupid Stiles, you’re allowed to feel like that.” Derek runs one hand up and down Stiles’ side, hoping to calm him down. “And yes I know, we can’t change what happened… It might not technically have been your first time last night, and you might not technically have been a virgin… But Stiles, it was our first time.” Stiles can’t help it when a tear escapes his eyes, he sniffs again. “I kind of wanted you to be the first one to fuck me too, though.” Stiles half jokes, Derek only holds him tighter, knowing irony is his only defence. 

“Why did my bite heal, I’m not a werewolf, I don’t do that, the healy thing.” Stiles changes the subject, still curled up between Derek’s legs. “Because it was a mating bite, they heal no matter the race of who you bite.” Stiles just nods, still fighting the tears, still trying to make that bitter taste in his mouth go away. “so like, say you mated a Mexican…” Stiles doesn’t get any further before Derek brings out his wolf claws and drags them over Stiles’ sensitive sides. Stiles throws himself around in the water making it splash out of the tub and onto the floor. “Not that kind of race, but yes, he would heal.” Stiles is laughing, and Derek can’t help but to smile. It goes away though, it takes some time before Derek realizes the fit of laughter as gone over to sobbing. “Stiles.” Derek has Stiles in his lap now, chest to chest, Stiles on top holding around Derek’s neck.   
“I love you… I claimed you, I mated you, didn’t I?” Stiles sniffles, “you did that out of pity” Derek’s heart shatters a bit, would Stiles actually think that? “Stiles, if I didn’t love you, the mating bite wouldn’t have healed, because it wouldn’t have been a mating bite…” Derek explains. “Really?” Stiles chokes out between hulks. “Really… If I didn’t love you, you’d be getting stiches by now.” Derek kisses his shoulder over and over again until Stiles calms down. He even chuckles and shies away from Derek’s jaw as his stubble tickles him. “I should shave.” Derek says leaning back when he knows Stiles has calmed down, he can hear Stiles heart beating calmly again. 

“No!” Stile shoots up, pushing himself up so that he is sitting in Derek’s lap, looking down at him. “No shaving, stubble is fine… stubble is good.” Stiles blushes, he sounds like a maniac, but it only makes Derek laugh. “No shaving then.” He closes his eyes for a while, he knows Stiles is still sitting there looking at him. A grin grows on his face as he speaks again. “You know I can smell arousal, right?” Stiles groans and rolls his hips, “That is such a mean thing to do.” Derek sits up, moving his hands down to Stiles’ ass, making him scoot forward into Derek’s lap. “Do you know what else I can now, that we’re mated?” Derek whispers into his ear. “No?” Stiles says with a shaky breath. “I can feel you… I can feel what you’re feeling.” Stiles rocks his hips into Derek’s as much as Derek’s grip allows it. “Do you know what I feel right now, do you know what you’re feeling?” Derek continues, helping Stiles grind up against him. “Lust, I feel lust.” Stiles moans loudly, water trashing around them, splattering over the edge and onto the floor, throwing rays of twirling light around the room. “Derek!” 

They’re both on the couch, Stiles curled up by Derek’s side, watching some old TV shows. “So like, you can like smell when Isaac and Peter… you know… “ Derek snorts, he has tried getting Stiles to catch some sleep by keeping his chest rumbling at a low frequency, but Stiles is getting better, and the better he gets, the more curious he gets. “Yes, I can smell when anyone has done anything.” Derek smiles, he knew every single time Stiles had touched himself… it used to bother him to able to tell, like for instance with Peter, before Isaac. It was awkward, with both of them knowing the other one knew. Obviously the others would know if he had too, but he never really did… He only wanted Stiles, it made him want to wolf out and run under the shine of the moon, only to think of Stiles, and the previous night, and just a few hours ago. It felt right. “Dude, that’s creepy…. Like is it because you’re an alpha?” Derek sighs in delightful frustration “No, Scott can as easily tell, you smell like it.” Derek explains, and Stiles hums in response. “So like, we showered, does that like… conceal it, or like wash it off or something?” Stiles looks over at Derek from over his shoulder. “Some of it.” Stiles groans, he does not like the idea of everyone knowing. 

Stiles does eventually fall asleep in Derek’s embrace, at the sound of his wolf’s slow lullaby. Stiles isn’t sure what that sound is, werewolves that aren’t born wolves and don’t have a mother or older brother or even an uncle, wouldn’t know it’s a wolfs lullaby. Derek’s wolf is literally singing Stiles to sleep. His mother used to gather his siblings around her, and she would lull them to sleep. Derek however, he never joined, not after what he did to that poor girl… he would sit in his room, flashing his blue eyes and watching the reflection in the window. Late into the night, his mother would come by his room, tuck him in, and she would make sure he fell asleep to the sound of her wolfs loving rumble. Derek had never done it himself, never had a reason to, but now he has Stiles, and Stiles is a reason. 

Peter comes through the door, with Isaac, Scott and Artic close behind. Isaac stops momentarily, still the one to be the most affected by Derek making that sound. His ears catches it differently than Stiles’ because he was a werewolf, it’s much more intense for him, even if he is across the room, and Stiles is right next to Derek’s chest. “Good day at school?” Derek asks silently, Artic nods and smiles, Scott has already gone for the kitchen. Isaac is standing there, just looking at them, smiling. “Come closer.” Derek says, feeling how tired Isaac is. Isaac moves slowly, like he is hesitating, when he reaches the couch he just stands there, frozen. The couch one of those who can be made into a bed, and because Stiles spends so much time there, it’s always made up as a bed. Derek reaches forward and grabs a hold of Isaac’s wrist, so the kid can’t do anything but follow. Once Isaac is arranged in front of Stiles, Derek settles back down… Still holding Isaac’s wrist in his hand. Stiles moves forward so that he ends up with his nose at Isaac’s collar bone, and one hand over his slim torso. Derek smiles as he puts his hand over Stiles and rests it on Isaac side. He knows he doesn’t need to baby Isaac anymore, but he still feels guilty about that time he kicked him out. Luckily Peter is family and not intimidated by Derek holding his mate… That might change once they actually mate, so Derek figures he should put his time with a none jealous Peter, to hold Isaac. It’s not the same as holding Stiles, he holds Stiles because he loves him and wants him safe and satisfied… he holds Isaac because it’s instinct and he wants him safe and satisfied. 

Isaac is looking directly at Stiles as he tries to relax, it’s still hard for him to be around Stiles, he has nightmares about what he did… and he knows Peter is conflicted about the whole thing too, even though he still loves Isaac his trust in him has been strained by the betrayal. Stiles is just so happy to be home, to be safe and to be with Derek… he understands how it is to love someone so much that you’d do unforgivable things to safe them. He can’t make himself stay angry at Isaac, because Isaac is family and right now that is all Stiles needs… he doesn’t need drama, he doesn’t need justice. He needs family, pack and home. That’s the only reason Stiles can find it within himself to forgive Isaac.   
Stiles figures it’s better for everyone if they just don’t tell Derek… Derek doesn’t need the pain of his pack member betraying him. It’s eating Isaac from the inside, and he wants to tell Derek, but Peter has advised him otherwise… and Isaac has accepted that the guilt will be his punishment, and he will take it all, knowing he can never make it up to Stiles but he will spend his life trying to… and trying to regain Peter’s trust, so that one day, they might mate. 

“Oh great, he drools!” Isaac exclaims twenty minutes later when he is awakened by something warm and wet trailing down his shoulder. Derek wakes up too, haven fallen asleep to the sound of both Isaac and Stiles snoring lightly. Artic and Scott look up from the living room table, where they’re doing their homework. They look back at each other and laugh. Derek smiles as he pulls Stiles away from Isaac, allowing Isaac to get up. Stiles is still drooling, but Derek almost doesn’t mind. “Drooling is good, means he isn’t as dehydrated, considering his body can produce enough spit to actually drool.” Remi says from the kitchen, Derek hadn’t heard them enter, but they must have just returned. He can hear Alec upstairs showering. 

Derek smiles, yes… drooling is good.


	17. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue 
> 
> How will things turn out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, I'm so sorry about the long wait! My mac wasn't working correctly so I got a new one from the store!  
> But here is the final part of the story! I'm so proud to be done!! :D 
> 
> Thanks for reading this story, and I hope you enjoyed reading it just as much as I enjoyed writing it :D

Derek groans, Stiles is blowing into his ear to wake him up. “What?” He sighs, turning to let Stiles settle on top of his chest. “It’s my birthday, everyone is coming!” Derek groans, it’s Stiles’ twenty-first birthday, and he’d rather die than acknowledge that Stiles is an adult, well supposed to be… Technically he was supposed to be an adult three years ago, but it was Stiles, of course he still acted like a child. Things has been good though, they have moved back from London, and back to Beacon Hills. Artic, Scott and Isaac work at the animal clinic, well they own it actually. Remi has taken work at the hospital together with Scott’s mother, it is good to have someone on the inside, in case something happens to anyone of them. Alec works some king of a nine to five office job, whilst Peter has gone back to creeping around. Derek mostly stays at home with Stiles, Stiles never finished school he is a stay at home mother… who can’t cook, doesn’t clean and won’t wash or fold clothes. So really, Derek is the stay at home mother, guarding his sickly pup. Stiles is much better, he doesn’t really have nightmares anymore, but he is still sickeningly scared of them. 

Dianna drops by from time to other, just in case Stiles wants to talk. But she can see how well Derek is taking care of him. Their lives are kind of boring, nothing really ever happens, and they all love it, they love their boring lives. They love days going by in the same way, with the promise of yet another safe day to follow. Alec and Remi finally has an alpha who takes care of them, Artic has a home and gets fed. Isaac has someone to love him and hold him, Scott has someone who lets him be independent but still is there if he is to slip. Peter has a family again…. Derek? Derek has everything, he has Stiles. 

“So today you can get up in the morning, but the rest of the year you sleep until noon?” Derek snorts, kissing Stiles’ hair softly, smelling the sweet raspberry scented shampoo Stiles uses. “Raspberries, really Derek?” Stiles had said the first time they bought it, Derek just nodded and said “ I like things that smell natural, I want you to smell like berries… not chemicals.” Derek explained him. “Can’t we find something like… blackberries at least.” Stiles had whined, but Derek just looked at him. “I don’t like blackberries, I like raspberries.” So that’s how Stiles obsession with smelling like raspberries started. Everything he could find raspberry scented, he bought. “Why don’t we just push raspberries up your nose.” Scott had whined when he came back home from work to find raspberry scented lights. “Good idea” Derek had added, making Stiles roll his eyes. 

“Hey, I get up at eight on Christmas!” Stiles say, winking, they both know it’s because he is dying to know what Derek got him for Christmas. Usually he already knows, but he still like unwrapping things. “Sure you’re up for it, you look pale” Derek whispers, pulling him in for a kiss. “It’s my twenty-first, I’m sure” Derek gives him a crooked smile. “My twenty-first birthday and my third.... wolf birthday?” Derek laughs at him, it had been a tough decision to give Stiles the bite but he had been begging for ages. So when he turned eighteen, the night after his birthday party, Derek had pinned him to the bed, biting him just as Stiles back arched in pleasure. Luckily, the bite had taken… and it had made him stronger, he was still a very small wolf, and not very strong. But it worked it advantages. The whole knotting aspect of it, was almost enough to make it worth it in itself. Derek loves being tied together, he loves seeing Stile wither under his touch and be stuck there. A few times Stiles had freaked out, trying to get away or having a panic attack or something. But that was mainly because everything was so overwhelming to him. 

“Third wolf birthday indeed. Biteday maybe.” Derek says, sitting up and getting out of the bed, hearing Stiles whine behind him. “Carry me, like before.” Derek sighs happily as he turns around and lifts Stiles’ small frame. Stiles is one lazy wolf. “So, how about I top tonight?” Stiles grins, they’ve had this discussion before. Derek has pride as an alpha, but for some reason, he can’t say no to Stiles, though he always not so discreetly hints to the fact that he’d rather not bottom. “Well I figured I was going to knot you, but I suppose not then.” Stiles laughs as he is being put down on a couch in the living room. “Smooth Derek… real smooth, but you know I can never say no to you knotting me.” Stiles grins, arousal filling the air. “Hold you’re horses, and trousers…” Derek says, leaving for the kitchen. Knotting is something they do on special occasions, it just so happens that sometimes, Stiles makes up some special occasions… like, half birthdays, and fathers day… things like that. Using arguments like “You’re practically Scott, Isaac and Artic’s dad.” 

“When did you invite them?” Stiles asks, looking up at Derek who is still standing in front of him. “They’ll be here in an hour, but it’s a surprise.” Derek whispers, It makes Stiles laugh, he reaches up for Derek to come down to his level. “Then why did you tell me?” He asks, Derek sits down right next to him and pulls him in under his arm. “Because, I didn’t want them to jump in and yell surprise and scare you.” Derek explains, Stiles has to snort, Derek still underestimates Stiles a lot. “You know I would be able to hear them coming right? Perks of being a werewolf.” Stiles winks lightly. “I know, but I didn’t want to risk it anyways.” Derek smiles, they just sit there and cuddle for a while. “But where are they, I mean they all pretty much live her, like literally.” Stiles frowns, it’s Saturday and they’re all usually at home. “You know, getting cake, and gifts.” Stiles groans. “Can you stop telling me things?” he whines, poking at Derek’s side. “Well what did you think, we can’t have cake in the house, you’d find it and eat it.” Derek says, Stiles is about to protest, but it’s true. 

“Surprise, that’s not really a surprise!” Scott shouts as they enter the house, knowing that Derek has already told Stiles about the party, well not really party, more like a friendly gathering. “Wow, I am so surprised right now.” Stiles says dryly, winking at Derek who just rolls his eyes. Artic is right behind him, almost holding around him and looking irritatingly happy and in love. “What happened to him?” Stiles asks Scott, hinting to the love drugged werewolf behind him. “We’re mated” Scott smiles so widely Stiles is sure his lips has to rip open and expand the smile to each ear. “Congrats!” Stiles gets up from the couch and out of Derek’s arms and skips over to his best mate, hugging him tightly. “Thought you’d never do it!” Stiles and Scott are still hugging, with Artic hugging Scott from behind. “Well this is awkward.” Stiles clears his throat and pulls away, only to see Artic sneak around Scott’s body and cling on to him. “Was I like that, when we mated?” Stiles asks Derek who has also gotten up and is now standing right behind Stiles. “You’re always like that.” Derek says, he leans down and kisses Stiles shoulder before he walks around him and over to Artic and Scott. “I’m happy for you.” He says in all honesty, just as Peter and Isaac burst in the door. 

“Great, now we have two couples to keep away from.” Peter says and rolls his eyes, but he is clearly joking, pulling an unmated Isaac in with him. Stiles doesn’t know why they haven’t mated yet, but he suspects it’s about what happened. Stiles has forgiven Isaac, and he hopes that one day Peter will too, because they both deserve to feel the joys of being mated. Isaac is standing slightly behind Peter as he looks longingly over at Scott and Artic. As he nuzzles down into Peter’s shoulder, he glances down at his younger lover. “You good?” He whispers, knowing what Isaac is feeling. That burning guilt that won’t leave him alone. Peter oftens considers mating him, just to take some of that pain away… But the trust between them is still being rebuilt, whilst their love is only getting stronger. “I’m good.” Isaac mumbles back, closing his eyes as Peter tilts his head down to place a gentle kiss on his temple. They’re overlooked by Stiles, who smiles broadly at them, making Isaac blush and move away from behind Peter to stand beside him. Peter grins, taking his hand in his and squeezing it lovingly as he pulls him into the room. 

 

Remi and Alec appear next, smiling and saying their Happy Birthdays to Stiles before they head into the kitchen… presumably with Stiles’ cake. His father and Melissa are next, then Dianna. They’re all there, and Stiles loves it. He just stands there, in the middle of the room, getting hugged time and time again by the people he love the most. They had after a long time of discussing wether it was necessary or not, told Sheriff Stilinski about what had happened… He had been devastated, but they had waited until they had moved back so that John could see that he was indeed fine, tired but fine. John walks over, embracing his son. “How’s my boy doing?” John asks, knowing the answer will be the same as always. “Just fine dad, you’re looking good… cut out on the curly fries?” Stiles asks, they often invite John and Melissa over for dinner, so that they don’t have to stress and make it themselves after work. Stiles loves it when they all gather together at the Hale house and just act like one big family, with no secrets. Melissa also knows, so they don’t have to hide. Derek also likes it, when it is all of them. Isaac and Peter lives there with them all the time, but Artic and Scott have a small apartment closer to the clinic… Alec and Remi have one closer to the hospital, but they spend more time at the Hale house anyways. Especially Artic and Scott. It’s their real home.

Derek smiles, Stiles has opened all the gifts, apart from the one from the one from him. Stiles gleams up at him and reaches out for the last gift, it’s small and square. Derek’s heart is speeding up, like mental. Stiles can hear it, and it makes Stiles even more eager to open it. He has no idea what it might be, like no idea. As he tears open the paper, a small box appears, it’s velvet red. The second he opens it and sees a ring inside, Derek is on his knees, holding Stiles’ hand that is holding the ring. “Stiles Stilinski, would you do me the honour of marrying me?” the room is dead silent, John and Melissa are close to crying, Isaac, Scott and Artic are grinning. Peter has this soft, warm smile, as he watches his nephew finally doing the right thing, giving in to love. 

“Yes.”


End file.
